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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want to be childfree mothers day am I being unreasonable?

40 replies

Chrisema · 21/03/2019 20:33

Hi I have 4 lovely (in their own way) children aged 23, 20, 15, and 4, I have been recently asked what I would like and I'm shocked at there response. I replied (very very keenly lol) to spend the day with my feet up no cooking, cleaning or watching others, I would like the day to me, may I comment I started the Dry-January thing and have not had a drop since, so I may decide to have a good old tipple, watch what I want, wear what I want do anything, I deserve it, a day to think I deserve this, my children have totally dismissed the idea and continue to plot, they asked I gave an honest answer, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
dontlikebeards · 21/03/2019 20:35

Sounds wonderful!

melissasummerfield · 21/03/2019 20:36

Bit wierd you want to celebrate motherhood by getting rid of your children imo Confused

Cherrysherbet · 21/03/2019 20:38

I’ve always viewed Mothers Day as a day to spend with the kids. I don’t think I would like to make it all about me. Your idea does sound like bliss though! We can dream!

Itstartedinbarcelona · 21/03/2019 20:42

I get it. I’ve booked my birthday off to spend a nice day with DH and they’ve now booked sports day for the same day Hmm. I’m gutted.

Nofilter101 · 21/03/2019 21:50

It's a bit weird you want to spend the day where you celebrate motherhood on your own without your reason for celebrating.

Fazackerley · 21/03/2019 21:52

That's your birthday. You've planned your birthday. Mother's day you spend with your kids.

formerbabe · 21/03/2019 21:52

Can't you do those things with your dc? So let them look after you for the day?

pumpkinpie01 · 21/03/2019 21:53

I get where your coming from , we all need a break but if you think they might be offended how about a meal out with them all then the rest of the day you please yourself ?

Belindabelle · 21/03/2019 21:53

I think what you want to do on Mothers Day sound ideal for a birthday. As you have a little one I think it sounds strange on Mother’s Day itself.

Jamhandprints · 21/03/2019 21:53

A day like that would be lovely, but not mothers day. That is a family day.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 21/03/2019 21:54

I think that’s really sad. Have a relaxing day doing something nice with your children. That’s what mothering is about.

Crunchymum · 21/03/2019 21:56

My kids aren't here (older 2 and dad will be away for weekend, me and baby couldn't go due to medical appt).

I can't wait. The baby sleeps until 8am and naps again at midday so my day will be

Lay in
Breakfast and tea
Mess around with very cheerful baby
Nap
Lunch

Kids and DP home about 5ish... with a takeaway. Sorted.

Snappedandfarted2019 · 21/03/2019 21:59

I agree sounds sad given you have a 4year old who might look forward to spending the day with you.

Wonderbag · 21/03/2019 21:59

Awww you kid will want to be around you Mother’s Day though- especially a 4 year old.

BaffledMcBaffled · 21/03/2019 22:02

How about spending Mother’s Day with the kids but instead of a present/flowers ask for a voucher for a ‘Me Day’ - then cash that in another day? Win win innit Grin

Trills · 21/03/2019 22:03

Maybe you could spend time with them on Mother's Day, but ask for a GIFT of babysitting vouchers.

A day's babysitting from each of the over-20s.

An afternoon or evening of babysitting from the 15 year old.

Then they will feel happy that they are getting to spend time with their mum on Mother's Day, but you will get THREE periods of being childfree.

NoNoNoOohmaybe · 21/03/2019 22:03

Ha! I'm often away with friends on Mother's Day! My kids don't care they're too young to understand the significance and are eating their bodyweight in chocolate with their dad.

Maybe you could compromise and spend the day with them but ask as a "present" you get another day to do your plan? It's important to have time to yourself

Tavannach · 21/03/2019 22:09

mm, I understand what you mean but Mother's Day is the day when kids get to show their appreciation of your parenting and how much they value you. It's all about you, but through their eyes. Maybe you could have your Indulge Me Day the next weekend?

Blankiefan · 21/03/2019 22:19

Pffft. Do what you want.

CherryPavlova · 21/03/2019 22:25

It’s a day for children to celebrate their mother. Odd to want to spend it without them. The cold tea and sticky jammy toast fingers don’t happen for many years. You'd be mad to miss it.

TheBigFatMermaid · 21/03/2019 22:39

Oh, I would hate this. One of my DC nearly died when I had her and the next one had me in ITU, with my girls saying goodbye to me.

They will damn well adore me and worship at my feet on my day!

I would hate them not to be there.

BUT, each to their own!

gamerchick · 21/03/2019 22:50

Sounds perfect to me. Grin

Before he started working weekends, the husband used to go out before I got up with the bairn and let me wake up naturally to silence. It was when I found that actually I was a morning person Grin

SandyY2K · 21/03/2019 22:58

Yes. YABU

Surely you can put your feet up and not do any housework while still having them around you.

I'd imagine the 4 year old is the one who requires more effort from you. The others can look after him/her.

If none of them bothered with you on mothers day, I reckon you'd not be so thrilled.

IHateUncleJamie · 21/03/2019 23:05

If none of them bothered with you on mothers day, I reckon you'd not be so thrilled.

^^This. I can’t imagine actively not wanting to see my dd on Mother’s Day. I think she’d be really hurt if she’d been kind enough to ask what I’d like and I basically said “A day without you”. 😳

RagingWhoreBag · 21/03/2019 23:09

Sounds like bliss but not really fair for them if they want to treat you and your treat of choice is for them to all fuck off!

Couldn’t you reframe it that you want them to enable you to relax by plying you with tea all day and entertaining each other (especially looking after little one) but not actually making them feel unwanted.

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