I want to be childfree mothers day am I being unreasonable?

[Chrisema]

Hi I have 4 lovely (in their own way) children aged 23, 20, 15, and 4, I have been recently asked what I would like and I'm shocked at there response. I replied (very very keenly lol) to spend the day with my feet up no cooking, cleaning or watching others, I would like the day to me, may I comment I started the Dry-January thing and have not had a drop since, so I may decide to have a good old tipple, watch what I want, wear what I want do anything, I deserve it, a day to think I deserve this, my children have totally dismissed the idea and continue to plot, they asked I gave an honest answer, am I being unreasonable?

I don't spend mother's day with my kids, I spend it with my mother. You should do whatever you want, it's your day, not your children's.

Why do you need their permission? Set up your own mother's day. Check into a place and get that alone time you want. I often find that if you are still in the environment with the people it's hard to get the results you want so I suggest a neutral place. Then let them know that you have set up your mothers day and they are off the hook with the exception of childcare :). They would not be truly upset but possibly confused. They are told from birth they need to make a big production so you feel their love on that one day. You can offer to do a meal with them but not your whole day. Remember to mention you are trying this out. You may come to find you do not actually enjoy this dream.

Think that's the plan morning with them giving me the afternoon x

Trills suggestion is the best! 3 babysitting ‘vouchers’ from the older kids. I get where you’re coming from, I’d love a day alone, but am spending Mother’s Day with my six year old and my recently widowed mother & will book a sneaky days annual leave to get my ‘me’ day!

YANBU to choose what you want to do on any given day. I don't place much significance on Mother's Day, it's a Sunday and I work every Sunday so have never spent it with my DC. They appear to be developing into rather fine young adults in spite of that.

Fine for the older kids but I wouldn’t with the 4 year old.

I would have mother's Day as "momma gets to remember who she was before she was a momma" day.

Before your body & brain got steamrollered by the brats, I mean, the little darlings.

Lie in in clean cotton sheets with no one's sweat, piss sick or shit to contend with.

Champagne brunch while watching Netflix. No bloody cereal.

Blissful shower with no one banging on the door

Then window shopping, the cinema to see an actual intelligent film.

Then cocktails, canapes and dinner with scintillating conversation provided by a group of cosmopolitan unattached strangers NO MENTION OF KIDS

Then dancing

The drudgery begins again at dawn

Why not get the older 3 to take the 4yo out for the morning. Then have a nice family lunch together. (Not made by you) Then perhaps you & your DP go out in the evening for a film?

YANBU at all and the suggestions by @RagingWhoreBag, @livefornaps, @maccaroni and others are excellent. Explain to them that the greatest gift for you this Mother’s Day is command of your own time again. Have them take the little one and leave you in peace for a while. Meet up with them later and spend some time cuddling then leave you alone again. They can occasionally check in on you with tea and snacks.

Being child free for the day jars with me. But having the day off child related work and having the children take it on sounds perfect. To me it is a day for your kids to show appreciation of you - for me that's breakfast in bed. But if you can swing a full day of them doing meals and minding of 4 year old then go for it.

If they're keen to buy you flowers and chocolates and hope normal service is provided then just run for the hills ;-)

Erm.
I've wanted to spend it on my own before.
But my kids have SEN and I see them every day, sometimes it would just be nice to have a day to myself.
Which wouldn't cost them.
A spa day, which I have wanted for years and years, would cost.
I don't believe I'm getting anything this year anyway, unless the teachers help my youngest make something.

Yanbu, for a few years when the littlest was v little and the bigger ones were at home mothers day was my official annual lie in, cup of tea brought to me, paper, house tidied and lunch cooked. bliss.