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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m being a complete CF and not want to ring into work again!

243 replies

MeteorGarden92 · 20/03/2019 08:38

So I recently dropped to PT hours to accommodate completing my qualification. Work are wonderful and supportive but I know it’s a stretch for them!

Yesterday I get a call at 7am from DP who has written off his car on the way to work. He’s ok but car is not! (Second accident in 3 months but neither his fault- he has a 2 hour commute on bad roads).

Obviously I rang in and swapped my day off!! They were fine about it.

This morning he’s taken my car to work and I’ve come down to an exploded dishwasher poring water down the front of my washing machine (and no doubt over the plugs at the bag which I CANNOT get into) I’m 26 and not the most stressful practical with electrics but pretty sure I can’t go out to work and leave the new water feature going!

Rang DP - no answer as he’s no doubt mid way through an operation right now. (Dr) so don’t expect a response from him in the next hour or two and even if he does respond he’s over an hours drive away!

Rang my mum- can’t come over.

Rang the plumbers who didn’t answer yet.

This is the second time the dishwasher has done this in a month! And our car was sick a few weeks ago and had to be rushed into the vets (again by me as couldn’t reach DP at work!

DP and I are getting married in 12 weeks and he would bend over backwards to help...if I could get hold of him, which I never can as obviously they don’t allow mobiles in operating theatres and he spends 50% plus of his working day there!

He’s on a 13 hour shift today- I just feel like it’s always falls to me, and it’s always going to be my career taking a huge hit! I’m sat here feeling terrible about having to ring work again and honestly could just cry!!

OP posts:
KickAssAngel · 20/03/2019 12:25

You would have to turn the electricity off even if you stay in the house. Do it or you could have an electrical fire in your home. That will be far worse than some food being thrown out.

  1. TURN OFF THE ELECTRICITY AND WATER. These are emergency measures. The kind where you know where they are and RUN to do it in seconds because of the possible MAJOR life and house threatening results of having water & electricity combined.
  1. Once you've done that - you need a plan in place. You need a competent person who knows how to turn off taps and isolate areas of the electrics. This can be your partner, a plumber or anyone you trust with a tool kit.

I know you realize you're being a bit useless, but I dealt with this exact situation once when my parents were out and I was 14. If you're old enough to be left alone in a house, you should be able to turn off the electrics and water.

OP may well have gone for now, but I really hope that anyone who reads this learns these basic things. They could save your home or your life, or just stave off a huge repair bill.

MrsGideon · 20/03/2019 12:25

Persimmonn Well that's really good for you but not everyone has that level of knowledge or confidence! Maybe she shouldn't have put it down to her age, I'll give you that. But honestly I don't understand why people are getting so bloody het up about someone not knowing how to turn the water and electricity off and asking for advice!

JellyBook · 20/03/2019 12:25

OP, guessing you’re at work now anyway. Just put today down to experience- learn how to isolate electrics, water and any gas appliances in any property you live in.

Also learn how to change a wheel and jump start a car while you’re at it ! Wink

In all seriousness unless your fitting is really old there should usually be a water feed tap for a dishwasher or washing machine which can easily be turned off, - often draws of a main cold tap, eg under a kitchen sink. Also if your machine is off it will stop drawing water anyway.

Finally, get yourself a fire blanket for the kitchen and check/ test your smoke detectors. You’ve had a run of bad luck so it wouldn’t hurt to cover all bases!

mirime · 20/03/2019 12:25

DH had tablets that had be kept in the fridge. We were staying with family for a weekend, unknown to us the fridge got turned off (the dog was suspected), 8 hours later the tablets were ruined. I'd be worried as well if I had to turn off the fridge. However you should be able to turn off the power to the sockets downstairs and still have power upstairs.

You really should know where the stopcock is though - it's not always under the sink so everyone insisting that's where it should be that's not necessarily helpful, our last house it was under the stairs, current house it's in a corner of the kitchen near the boiler.

TheInvestigator · 20/03/2019 12:28

@mirime

The fridge warms up faster. She was given advise to go ask a neighbour to keep the medicine in their fridge for her.

Then the problem was she'd just done a shop and the freezer was full so she didn't want to lose that, despite being told numerous times that the freezer would be fine for the day. If she can't get it turned back on tonight, she could take stuff to her mum's etc.

TheInvestigator · 20/03/2019 12:29

*advice

jinglet · 20/03/2019 12:33

Anyone know if the OP made it into work?

Persimmonn · 20/03/2019 12:34

I think the stopcock under the sink is for the dishwasher so it’s supply of water stops and it can’t flood anymore. I agree the stopcock for the mains water could be anywhere in the house. Ours is near the stairs in the hallway.

MrsGideon I think people are getting het up because if you live in a house that you’re responsible for, these are simple things you should know. Also, op’s posts about career and education pissed me off, like knowing about plumbing and electrics is beneath her. I hope her toilet gets blocked one day.

S1naidSucks · 20/03/2019 12:38

but equally think ALOT of my age group- despite having good careers/education - don’t know how to do things around the house

Loving the implication that the older generation are lacking in careers/education. But at least we know how to turn off the water/electricity. Grin

amusedbush · 20/03/2019 12:43

I'm 28 and I'm not fucking hopeless with household things. Please don't give us a bad name because you either can't arsed to learn practical skills, or refuse to take advice when it's handed to you.

Eliza9917 · 20/03/2019 12:46

That food in the fridge freezer might well be very important; not everyone can afford to refill at a moments notice.

The DH is a surgeon.. apparently. Hardly a skint profession.

UpsyDaaaisy · 20/03/2019 12:55

As soon as one person comments something blunt/patronising/nasty it seems everyone just wants to jump on and join in. There is no need to be so nasty, yes she should know where everything is but some times these things your mind or is everyone here perfect at everything Hmm. FWIW OP I would of had to do a quick Google search to figure out this problem myself Smile

Evilspiritgin · 20/03/2019 13:26

I’m 46 (single parent) and didn’t know where the stopcock was until a plumber showed me , so what it’s not the biggest deal in the world, oh and my dm Samsung freezer defrosted completely over night with the door shut, we threw out 3 bin bags filled with ruined food

kmammamalto · 20/03/2019 13:32

Maybe you'll feel better about being rude if you have a little search and see how OP responds to other women who are reaching out for help. I knew I remembered the username from this morning, where she absolutely slated women for asking their husbands for help with kids while on mat leave.....

teyem · 20/03/2019 13:40

So, do you have children -plural- who you tend to all though the night so not as to upset the sleep of your dh while telling other mothers to up their game or is it just a cat -singular-?

Grumpelstilskin · 20/03/2019 13:53

It's shocking that an adult in their mid-twenties does not have a clue about basic house maintenance stuff. If you worked for me and did not come into work for this ridiculous reason, you’d get a written warning.

thedisorganisedmum · 20/03/2019 13:55

Grumpelstilskin
you say that, but there posts expecting a landlord to come and replace a light bulb or a toilet seat.

TheInvestigator · 20/03/2019 14:10

You've got to love it when a childless person presents their ideas on raising children and dealing with childcare whilst so completely looking down on the woman who actually do it everyday. You don't have a clue so keep your mouth shut.

Nomorechickens · 20/03/2019 14:21

you should have a stop valve under the sink which would turn off the supply to the dishwasher (or possibly everything under the sink). It may not look like a tap, it may just require a screwdriver to turn it 1/4 turn to shut off the supply. Best to locate and practise before an emergency occurs. Similarly the stop valve for the whole house may be stiff and not completely shut off the supply if not used for years. Again, best to check before an emergency. And make sure all the fuses in the fuse board are labelled.

YellowFish123 · 20/03/2019 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
MeteorGarden92 · 20/03/2019 14:30

@Kmam
@teyem

🤔 ‘absoloutley slated’ or ‘disagreed with’? Apologies but I though that those who came on AIBU wanted actual opinions not just to be agreed with! - Do you see me kicking off at those who think I’m a Mormon for not knowing where my water valve is? 🙄 Nope- fair opinion!
I actually thought that THAT OP’s partner sounded like he was doing more than most I know! So yeah, did think she was BABU!

Either way I’m reasonably new here and didn’t realise that the ettiquette was to follow users comments on threads to then ‘bring up’ and ‘throw back at them’ on other completely unrelated threads 🤔 ..... is that within MN user guidelines @Kmam and @teyem?

I’m sad to see that the 85% of suppprive and encouraging comments I’ve given out since I joined didn’t make it into your show reel!

OP posts:
Original poster
MeteorGarden92 · 20/03/2019 14:31

*moron

OP posts:
teyem · 20/03/2019 14:37

If MNHQ kick me off, they'll be doing me a favour.

berkshirecat · 20/03/2019 14:38

OP, just wanted to say that I totally get you. I'm a similar age and DP is also a doctor. I find myself having to deal with house stuff etc all the time and it can be frustrating. He recently got annoyed that I asked him to take cat to the vets on his day off... despite the fact I'd have to miss a morning of work to do it Hmm

BluebadgenPIP · 20/03/2019 14:45

Yellowfish are you saying that a member of staff is not entitled to use their own judgement and that you would over ride the professional opinion of a medical professional?