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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m being a complete CF and not want to ring into work again!

243 replies

MeteorGarden92 · 20/03/2019 08:38

So I recently dropped to PT hours to accommodate completing my qualification. Work are wonderful and supportive but I know it’s a stretch for them!

Yesterday I get a call at 7am from DP who has written off his car on the way to work. He’s ok but car is not! (Second accident in 3 months but neither his fault- he has a 2 hour commute on bad roads).

Obviously I rang in and swapped my day off!! They were fine about it.

This morning he’s taken my car to work and I’ve come down to an exploded dishwasher poring water down the front of my washing machine (and no doubt over the plugs at the bag which I CANNOT get into) I’m 26 and not the most stressful practical with electrics but pretty sure I can’t go out to work and leave the new water feature going!

Rang DP - no answer as he’s no doubt mid way through an operation right now. (Dr) so don’t expect a response from him in the next hour or two and even if he does respond he’s over an hours drive away!

Rang my mum- can’t come over.

Rang the plumbers who didn’t answer yet.

This is the second time the dishwasher has done this in a month! And our car was sick a few weeks ago and had to be rushed into the vets (again by me as couldn’t reach DP at work!

DP and I are getting married in 12 weeks and he would bend over backwards to help...if I could get hold of him, which I never can as obviously they don’t allow mobiles in operating theatres and he spends 50% plus of his working day there!

He’s on a 13 hour shift today- I just feel like it’s always falls to me, and it’s always going to be my career taking a huge hit! I’m sat here feeling terrible about having to ring work again and honestly could just cry!!

OP posts:
DoulaDaisy · 20/03/2019 10:49

OP You're 26 years old. Grow up and get some common sense.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 20/03/2019 11:05

@MeteorGarden92 a lot of people your age have google at their disposal.

FriarTuck · 20/03/2019 11:13

OP You're 26 years old. Grow up and get some common sense.
Seriously folks, can't you just accept that not everyone has the same approach to every little thing in life and either be sympathetic & helpful or just say nothing. For all you know, in a medical emergency OP could be calm as anything and saving lives while people like DoulaDaisy fall apart. What was the point of the above comment DoulaDaisy? Is the OP going to feel better from reading it? No. Will she suddenly discover all the handy knowledge that some people have on here? No. The only reason for posting it is to belittle her and that says far more about you than it does about OP. And the same applies to the other posters of similar comments.
OP has had some good advice and will no doubt take this experience as a nudge to work out where switches and taps etc. are in her house for the future. Hopefully it will also remind others who are equally unaware that it would be a good thing to go and have a look at their fusebox and under the sink while they don't have a domestic crisis to contend with.

MrsGideon · 20/03/2019 11:14

Good GOD can everyone stop fucking piling on the OP being such utter dicks!

You in your insufferable smugness might know how to turn off your electricity and water but there's a first fucking time for everything and this was the OP's. Don't try and tell me you'd walk into a kitchen flooded with water in the morning before work (after a shitload of other stressful dramas you've had to deal with ON YOUR OWN) and just calmly find all the right switches and turn them off before skipping off to work and not giving it another thought. These things are STRESSFUL and OP was just posting on here for some advice. You know, the original fucking reason for Mumsnet existing.

OP, some people on here will look down their noses at you no matter what you do, so don't listen to them. I hope some of the advice helped and you got it sorted and managed to get into work.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 20/03/2019 11:19

Op, I’m 35 with two kids and I wouldn’t have a clue either!

MrsGideon · 20/03/2019 11:22

X post with FriarTuck who said it far more eloquently and less expletive ridden than I did Grin

FriarTuck · 20/03/2019 11:23

MrsGideon I may have had to delete some bits!! Grin

TheInvestigator · 20/03/2019 11:24

The posts were all perfectly polite until, after having received the advice and been assured the freezer would be fine, OP then posted saying she didn't want to turn it off. Basically, she decided she knew better than all the people who actually know and tried to help.

RhiWrites · 20/03/2019 11:26

People really enjoying a pile on this morning, eh?

OP you sound careful and conscientious. I don’t believe for one second that you are trying to avoid work. If I were your manager I’d be completely sympathetic to the extremely rare issue of a domestic disaster the day after your OH was in a car accident.

And I don’t blame you for wanting to understand what you’re doing rather than trusting blindly in the random strangers saying things will be fine. (Not including the nice people offering real advice in this.)

Ignorance is not stupidity. Attending to a domestic emergency is not making excuses. You sound lovely - much nicer than the people (who don’t work or aren’t at work) giving you grief for asking for help.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 20/03/2019 11:32

Unfortunately he's a dr. You will just have to put up with his work having to come first. It just does I'm afraid. I'm a nurse and no way can you just take days off for household emergencies such as yours. If your parents are around to help, use them. Otherwise as PP's have said. Turn off the water and the power and go to work.
This. I used to work for a team of heart surgeons. I was driven mad by a couple of the wives constantly ringing up about domestic issues - they hadn't a clue how stressed out their husbands were every day trying to save a life on the table - the last thing they needed was someone interrupting about a washing machine (that was one of the complaints). We had a visiting heart surgeon from Pakistan for a year and his wife rang up every day ((sometimes more than once)from 5.00 pm onwards (they were still in theatre, working madly) and asking me to tell him his children needed him home now! Needless to say, I didn't go along to the theatre and holler through the door as that was the last thing they all needed in a time of intense concentration. In the end, the Senior Reg asked him to stop his wife ringing me up every day unless it really was an absolute emergency.

AnnieOH1 · 20/03/2019 11:40

When my DH was working away and I had our eldest, we got home emergency cover. One phone call to them and it is somebody else's problem. Just something for you to consider.

Sometimes the stop cock is near the water meter if you have one.

Do you have a bank of red switches above your counters? If the kitchen has been renewed in recent years you should have with various switches for cooker, washing machine etc. If you have that's how you can quickly switch off appropriate electrics. The other option is pull out the dishwasher and find the feed, there will be a tap on the end to allow you to switch the machine out.

You will be fine, as with the cat and your husband. As will work. [Flowers]

MrsGideon · 20/03/2019 11:40

TheInvestigator Yes because being a little bit hesitant to trust strangers on the internet and potentially ruin an entire fridge freezer's worth of food and medicine is tantamount to being a lazy, work-shy time-waster lacking in common sense.

Yes, she asked for advice but as we are constantly told, you can't trust everything you read on AIBU!

ginghamtablecloths · 20/03/2019 11:46

I sympathise with you over DP's long hours of work. I was in the same boat - if ever there was a problem I was very much alone and had to learn self-reliance which is no bad thing and could be handy in future should you find yourself living alone for any reason.

My DH was a long-distance lorry driver. Before mobiles were invented I couldn't really contact him at work, nor could he get home at the drop of a hat. If you have children you're almost a single parent. Marriage in these circumstances brings its own set of problems but there are small compensations.

TheInvestigator · 20/03/2019 11:51

MrsGideon

She also could have googled. This really wasn't a big problem. Freezer don't defrost in a matter of hours. If they did, power companies could never do repairs. Power cuts would result in everyone chucking everything in the bin. It's common bloody sense.

thedisorganisedmum · 20/03/2019 11:55

the OP is completely over-dramatic. It has nothing to do with her career suffering, plenty of people live on their own and deal with their own emergency. Even if you get married, your partner is just that, a partner, he's not your dad having to bail you out.

People have been trying to help, and gave the easiest and most urgent suggestion which the OP refused, and ignored the other ones. How do you expect people to try and help now?

MrsGideon · 20/03/2019 11:58

She didn't 'refuse', she just said she was worried about it. Don't twist her words to suit your narrative Hmm

For all you know, she followed all the advice given on here and is now happily sitting at her desk at work!

thaegumathteth · 20/03/2019 12:02

Get a grip OP you’re not 12

VanGoghsDog · 20/03/2019 12:03

but equally think ALOT of my age group- despite having good careers/education - don’t know how to do things around the house

It's almost like the internet doesn't exist....

thedisorganisedmum · 20/03/2019 12:05

Don't twist her words to suit your narrative hmm
you might want to re-read the thread Smile

FriarTuck · 20/03/2019 12:07

thaegumathteth Read some of the posts above you and think about why you felt the need to post that comment. And some of us might be wondering if the 12 year old is you. Run along do, they'll be missing you in the playground.

FriarTuck · 20/03/2019 12:09

Have to say, I think the surestop button is a great idea, particularly for those people who have less manual dexterity (or whatever the word is I'm looking for).

thedisorganisedmum · 20/03/2019 12:09

FriarTuck
did you mean to be so rude?

If the OP felt the need to clarify she was "only" 26, it's fair for posters to reply to that...

FriarTuck · 20/03/2019 12:11

thedisorganisedmum - nothing rude about it. Telling someone to grow up and get some common sense is rude and unhelpful. The fact that OP disclosed her age is irrelevant to that.

MrsGideon · 20/03/2019 12:15

thedisorganisedmum Yup, just reread all of the OP's posts and not once has she refused to do anything. She just said she was 'worried' and 'hesitant' to turn off the fridge freezer as she doesn't have any idea when she'll be able to turn it back on again.

So I'm still not sure where you're getting the idea from that she's point blank refused to take people's advice...

Persimmonn · 20/03/2019 12:20

on't try and tell me you'd walk into a kitchen flooded with water in the morning before work (after a shitload of other stressful dramas you've had to deal with ON YOUR OWN) and just calmly find all the right switches and turn them off before skipping off to work and not giving it another thought.

Yes!! I would and I have in the past. There are things called towels and mops that are quite good at soaking up water. If you flick a few switches it turns the water off and the electricity off too. It’s a 15min job tops. Then you call a plumber/electrician, and toddle off to work and deal with it when you get back. Or if you’re super lucky like OP, your parent can come and wait for them to come and fix the problem during the day.

The fact that op has used her age as defence for not knowing how to do these things is pathetic. I know 20 year olds who are more enlightened.