To think that I am now on the spectrum?

[captainmarvella]

I am a freelancer. Unfortunately home is rather a chaotic place, so I tend to work from a local cafe. Lately it's been very hard, though, because the music that’s in the background really makes me feel agitated and lose my focus. At some point I can actually feel myself clenching!

All around me people are working or talking with not the slightest objection to the music. So it is definitely me... I switched to a few different cafes, and yep, the minute the music comes on, I just go quietly nuts. So I got myself a co-working space, and guess what – even they play music, albeit more lounge than rock, but it still grates on my nerves... I am able to work only in absolute silence.

Some other changes - I am not able to write in unruled notebooks anymore, it has to be lined. No more jeans, I suddenly hate everything that’s tight on my body (I used to love figure hugging outfits). Too much light is literally hurting my brain, so I have dimmed all the lights in the house. Having been a slob all my life, now I am unable to stop myself from decluttering all day.

Just last week I went on a shopping binge, bought colour co-ordinated boxes and making sure nothing is out of place. I also am arranging everything in straight lines :( I never had these preferences before! The other day someone close to me said, in a jokey way (hopefully), that I was turning into a Mini-Sheldon...

I don’t know... should I get tested for anything else? If yes, what? I have heard that such behaviour can indicate spectrum disorders... No big change in my life recently... well, apart from the fact that I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder.

Also not sure if this is relevant, I did have ADHD as a kid and was apparently medicated for it (this information was dragged from DM whose lifelong goal has been to present our family as ‘perfect’ - she refuses to tell me anything more, to be fair she doesn't have a great memory)

I am a complete noob regarding the spectrum, apologies in case this post hurts anyone

You sound stressed. I get extremely easily irritated by sounds and feelings (of clothes. Of touch) when I'm stressed.

Sorry OP , don't think you can suddenly develope ASC.

I'm no expert so I'm sure wiser will be along in a moment. But I don't think it's possibly to suddenly become 'on the spectrum', but it is possible that you are developing OCD or another mental health condition. Some of it also sounds a lot like ADHD if you have already been diagnosed with that.

Do you feel stressed? You said home has become chaotic? And I would call being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder a big change/event! That must be worrying. Some of the effects could I guess be a result of that (light hurting your head?), but I would seek proper advice from a medical professional, though.

yabu - ASD is a lifelong condition. you are born with it and you die with it. you don't just develop it suddenly in adulthood.

You don't suddenly become on the spectrum but it's likely that the sensory issues you are experiencing are linked to your adhd or your adhd was misdiagnosed, as asd tends to present differently in females.

Hmm. it seems a like to structured, like you have read the symptoms and now applying , what you think the results , should be to yourself. Do you feel ok , stressed or out of control in other areas of your life ?

You sound stressed to me. If silence is what you need to work, can you get noise cancelling headphones?

You don't become 'on the spectrum' although if you were identified with ADHD as a child there might be something in it. ADHD and ASD are often seen together and share a number of characteristics. Regardless of the label though, it sounds like you know what works for you and how to calm your anxiety?

Autism isn't something that suddenly develops later in Life.
I would suggest that being a freelancer isn't suiting you, and is far too stressful. You sound beyond stressed. Are you sleeping properly?
Are you taking any regular medication?

Get some noise-cancelling headphones for a start. Misophonia is the hatred of noise, but it's not solely caused by autism.

also, ASD is another the triad of impairment - ASD is not voting colour coordinated boxes. you are completely minimising autism.

Malfoy you hit it right on the head, I have gone off touch. Always been a hugger, now I growl at my hubby if he comes too close to me while I am sleeping in my side of the bed. And I gave away some pretty expensive clothes last months bcos they were too scratchy (they were not, according to DH and DM).

Yes to others I am stressed I should say... mostly due to the diagnosis... I have been forced to give up several foods (I am doing the ayurvedha treatment for the disorder) as part of my treatment plan, including wheat and dairy, and it has been quite stressful.

^^ Sorry, develop, don't know where last e came from. flying , actually there is now just a dyad of impairment for ASC.

If you had ADHD then you probably still do, stress can make it worse (I have it, primarily innatentive - a chaotic home & easily distracted/unable to block out the music would fit that).

Lots of online tests you can do to see if it might be indicated & you can ask for a referral to an adult ADHD centre (very long waiting lists though) if you think it would help. I’m fairly sure autism however is not something can develop, essentially both ADHD and spectrum disorders are down to having differently wired brains & it’s the way you are made all along, if these are new things you are experiencing then you need to look elsewhere for answers.

I have ASD and cope better in some working environments than others. If stressed I find I am more bothered by excess sensory input. Though I can't work in silence, I need white noise!

Could be you are stressed. Could be you have always been on the spectrum and just noticing things. Worth exploring stress first!

Sincere apologies if my post sounds insensitive, I know NOTHING about ASD except what I got from a few movies and a few google clicks, I am learning a lot from MN here, thanks for replying with useful information.

Acually I am flabbergasted (and angry) that my mom managed to hide my ADHD past from me all these years. I wish she had told me sooner. So many memories from school/college become clearer now.

You can't just develop ASD. You've had a lot of big changes in your life some sounds like stress some sounds more like it could be mild OCD but I'm not a doctor just speaking from my own experiences with OCD.

When I'm stressed I need to be able to control every aspect and install absolute order, routine and uniformity wherever I can. It's my way of taking control when I feel out of control. I'm suggesting that you're suffering from extreme stress.

Have you recently become a freelancer, and gone from something more structured?

You don't have an 'ADHD past'. You either have it or you don't, it's not like tonsillitis. Despite common belief, it's not a childhood disorder you grow out of, it's a neurological condition. Do some research, this website is very good www.additudemag.com

Autism is way more than organization and colour coordinating and sensitivity. Waaaayy more.

It sounds like your current health issues and stress are having a bad effect on your mental health. Are you in any kind of support group for your health issues?

I would suggest that being a freelancer isn't suiting you, and is far too stressful.
You may be right... freelancing for nearly a year, and am dismayed at how much clients make me chase them, nearly beg them for payment... Payment is very staggered, I go for months without seeing money... suddenly on Month 4 a lot of cheques get issued... I live in India, so a union for freelancers is pretty much non existant...

You sound beyond stressed.
I feel you are right again... I live in a joint family, and it's not always easy, living with old people (understatement of the century)... DH travels a lot, I miss him too... but then it's all nothing new, it's always been like that, for years...

Are you sleeping properly?
Not really... then again I have always had sleeping problems...

Are you taking any regular medication?
Just levothyroxine for the past couple of months, along with some herbal pills for adrenal health

Thanks all, I stand corrected, happy to know that it's exremely unlikely that I am on the spectrum and many apologies again for displaying such ignorance *and if I hurt anybody;s feelings)

Of course now I am worried that I have developed OCD or the ADHD has been triggered by stress/thyroid problems...

A lot of what you describe could be very much down to your adhd.

And, once diagnosed, that's you. It doesn't magically go away.

Ocd, adhd/add, asd, cfs/me, fms, depression, anxiety, tourettes, epilepsy, schizophrenia, there's a whole host of comorbid conditions.

And there's a lot of crossover

If you are female, the struggles with adhd more often present themselves later on, with the more commitments and responsibilities we have. That's how they diagnosed me. I had no idea.

But it's true you don't just suddenly become autistic. But you will naturally share some of the traits because of your adhd.

Those are all sensory issues.

Read up on the triad of impairment.

I think everything you describe is a response to stress.

When I get stressed (proper stressed beyond usual day to day stuff for an extended period of time), I loose the ability to focus. Everything distracts me, such as scratchy-ness / clingyness of clothes and music. Literally these are my cues.

I think if you try to deal with your stress, that will help a lot of what you're feeling lessen / go away

If you have ADHD you are much more likely to be on the spectrum

@narcissistseverywhere are you?