To think that I am now on the spectrum?

[captainmarvella]

I am a freelancer. Unfortunately home is rather a chaotic place, so I tend to work from a local cafe. Lately it's been very hard, though, because the music that’s in the background really makes me feel agitated and lose my focus. At some point I can actually feel myself clenching!

All around me people are working or talking with not the slightest objection to the music. So it is definitely me... I switched to a few different cafes, and yep, the minute the music comes on, I just go quietly nuts. So I got myself a co-working space, and guess what – even they play music, albeit more lounge than rock, but it still grates on my nerves... I am able to work only in absolute silence.

Some other changes - I am not able to write in unruled notebooks anymore, it has to be lined. No more jeans, I suddenly hate everything that’s tight on my body (I used to love figure hugging outfits). Too much light is literally hurting my brain, so I have dimmed all the lights in the house. Having been a slob all my life, now I am unable to stop myself from decluttering all day.

Just last week I went on a shopping binge, bought colour co-ordinated boxes and making sure nothing is out of place. I also am arranging everything in straight lines :( I never had these preferences before! The other day someone close to me said, in a jokey way (hopefully), that I was turning into a Mini-Sheldon...

I don’t know... should I get tested for anything else? If yes, what? I have heard that such behaviour can indicate spectrum disorders... No big change in my life recently... well, apart from the fact that I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder.

Also not sure if this is relevant, I did have ADHD as a kid and was apparently medicated for it (this information was dragged from DM whose lifelong goal has been to present our family as ‘perfect’ - she refuses to tell me anything more, to be fair she doesn't have a great memory)

I am a complete noob regarding the spectrum, apologies in case this post hurts anyone

Yes

Go to the library?

I don't think you suddenly develop AS, it just sounds like you're grumpier than usual and getting irritable because of it. I get sick of things being a bit of a mess and get rage but I'm not autistic. Quite offensive if you tbh.

You need to chill.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I had ADHD-I totally get the back ground noise thing; I want to scream!

Do you have these other things?
-I can never hear the telly, what they’re saying due to bloody surround systems it’s like it’s distorted. I’ve had my hearing tested and it’s excellent. I have to have the subtitles on
-I cannot concentrate on the phone if there’s a smidgeon of noise in the room.
-I’ve always struggled to follow instructions especially stuff to do with position and space or learning a dance. Yet I did dance to a reasonably high standard 🤷‍♀️

A lot of energy is spent hiding these weaknesses and concentrating very hard to achieve things which seem second nature to others

Could the disease of levothyroxine need adjusting? If it’s too high it can cause anxiety type symptoms.

^doseage not disease

@captainmarvella @Siameasy I have so many of what you both describe

• background noise making me furious
• clothes including jeans no longer comfortable. I kondo'd my wardrobe too. I can wear stretchy jeans out but am straight into tracksuit at home. Soft, old, old tracksuit. I can only tolerate ponte dresses for work and no skirts because I don't like the waist. Although I want to wear skirts.
• i cannot hear the TV either!!! I thought I was going mad. I also demand subtitles like a grandma, even though I can hear sounds from other places in the house like they're in the same room
• I hate personal contact full stop
• I spent a fortune in wilko buying kilner jars for all our pasta, rice, protein powder, and glass containers for leftover food. It made me so happy
• also on the thyroxine!

I've also wondered if I suffer from adhd. I've always been quite scatterbrained and rely on many lists and reminders to help me stay on track.

@Siameasy I also find phone conversations really hard. And definitely can't follow instructions easily. Boxercise didn't work out for me 😂 even though I'm massively into endurance sports and powerlifting.

Okay..well since you’re not that familiar with ASD in women, here’s a good starting place Tania Marshall’s profile of women with Asperger syndrome. Reading that for the first time was like a ‘light bulb’ moment for me! That’s when I first realised I was probably autistic (I’m now diagnosed).
Now given your ADHD diagnosis you may see some traits but you’d need an awful lot of them to really suggest ASD. There is an overlap with many people with ADHD also being on the ASD spectrum. I would read up on previous links provided about ADHD too because it doesn’t sound like you’re all that familiar. It definitely used to be a notion that you ‘grow out of ADHD’ (I knew someone in the 00s who said that of himself). I understand that’s an outdated concept although sometimes you stop being hyperactive and are more ADD? (anyone correct me if I’ve got that wrong).
I agree with pp it’s worth reading up more about ADHD/ADD, look at what work set up and environment suits you best, but also get a GP check up to ensure your bloods are in normal ranges, could be your thyroxine dose needs adjusting too.

This is very interesting. I have a lot of these issues aswell. I can't touch certain fabrics, velvet, carpet, valour, I can't cope with more than one noise at a time, I feel like my head is fizzing and I get terribly agitated especially if one noise is constant. I forget everything, I get embarrassed by the amount of things I forget, in a very short space of time. I can't stand anyone near me in bed or sitting on the couch, and I few other things that I've always just chalked up to me being a bit odd. It seems to be getting worse as I get older.

ASD is a lifelong thing as is ADHD. They are often found together though. It's possible you have both (though only diagnosed with one) or that what you are experiencing is due to your ADHD. Being stressed can make everything worse for people with ADHD/ASD so things they can normally tolerate become intolerable. Perhaps this is what is happening to you? It's not that you are developing a new condition but that you are becoming more aware of the issues it causes.

Which auto immune disease have you been diagnosed with?

Could be the thyroxine.
I wonder if it's possible you get so used to being hypo that being normal feels odd.
I would find a cafe too noisy and distracting.

I wouldnt be surprised if levo makes your skin feel different as your body temp will be higher.
I also wonder if people with thyroid issues may be hyperactive as a child and hyperthyroid maybe and then go the other way as they get older. My dbro was very hyper as a dc never slept.

Or you could be or feel hyperthyroid as you have gotten used to how you were?

This is all very interesting.

Just as an alternative... when my depression is uncontrolled, I get extremely irritable and it manifests itself in many ways including an intolerance of background noise including music, and a feeling of extreme discomfort with certain items of clothing.

Hope things settle down for you OP.

@narcissistseverywhere can you link me to some information regarding that please? Not being aggy, just interested

Depression and anxiety cause me to be the way you are.

We have autism in our family and there's no sudden onset ASD, yes it can go undiagnosed for years but it will always have been there.

Stress can lead to odd behaviors/coping methods. When I'm severely stressed I tend to display obsessive tendencies like checking the door is locked a 5+ times at various points of the day or hopping out of bed several times to check even if I know in my mind it's locked.

I also have episodes of being sensitive to my environment, the feel of clothes on my skin or even the feeling of removing clothing makes me feel sick to the point of retching. Environmental changes from going to cold to hot can get an instant reaction. Smell Inc. But I also feel sick when people use descriptive language for something that ain't pretty so I just gather I'm pretty sensitive in general but stress aggravates it more.

Iv always been sensitive to noise it's actually painful and too much traffic noise ie more than one person talking within earshot with music playing or traffic passing makes me lose concentration on the point of focus and stresses me out.

I don't believe I am in the spectrum as have identified times of stress when most of this occurs. My dd is on the spectrum so it's easy for to consider it but I don't believe I need to.

ASD presents in nervous ways and different ways in females as males.

Alot of those traits I am blessed with on that autistic women link. Music whilst I am thinking or writing? No thank you. Noisy cafes, am in one at the moment. Aarrgghh...

I am exactly the same with background noise. Even worse if I can’t control it (like turning it down). I walked out of a supermarket at Christmas because their music was louder than normal and I just couldn’t hear myself think. My family joke about how I will get in a car and the first thing I do is turn their music down.

I also get agitated with long sleeves on and also sometimes my hair annoys me when it touches me. Usually when I’m stressed though. Or trying to concentrate.

I also can’t concentrate if the house is a mess. I can deal with it not being clean, but if there’s mess/things not in their right places I can’t work.

Don't know what it is op but I've become like this since becoming a sahm. A few examples I hate anything under my feet or touching my head. I hate going in my 12 yo room. He has crap all over his floor and if I step on anything feeling it under my feet feels really annoying. He has a high sleeper with things hanging off it if it brushes against my head i hate it. I've just rearranged my downstairs loo so i have all white boxes with toiletries and cleaning products all neatly stacked away. I have become obsessed with saving money but I'm also itching to buy a load of things to redecorate bathroom and downstairs loo. It doesn't need it. I found myself googling £40 loo seats the other day.

Sorry for the late reply, long day, just got back home.

I am amazed at all the coincidence. The subtitle thing? I have been ashamed of it for so long, everyone in my family looks at me weirdly because I cannot watch an English movie without sub titles. I speak excellent English (avid reader all my life + convent school education + jobs where all communication have to be in english) so this has puzzled me a lot. I didn’t mention this in my OP because I have been like this for several years.

More recent changes - ditto with tight clothes, I now wear only loose clothes, at size 16 it does me no favour, but I prefer it... i get very overwhelmed 10 minutes into any big social gathering, i have to get inside a room and just be alone for some time before I can back.

Not sure what all this means, a bunch of us sharing such similar traits. But yes, thanks to everyone who has contributed their opinions, lots to think about.

yesterday I took some online tests, I scored over 70% for both ADHD and BiPolar! I know these tests are not for medical diagnosis purposes and it is true that I am very stressed, but then stress has been a part of my life for a long time (dysfunctional, alcoholic family etc), I will try de-stressing and also check my thyroxin dosage.

Somebody asked me the name of the disorder, it’s called Hashimoto.

I am a bit dismayed at the statistic that ADHD is never really cured. I am still not out of the shock that I had ADHD as a kid, and now this info! My mom says "yeah we medicated you and you calmed down and doctors said to stop medication, and that was that."

I have trouble believing it myself... I was one of the most laid back (*cough, lazy) people back in school/college and even now I am not known for my pace or speed! It's just my mind that seems to be very active these days...

Depending on how long you've been on thyroxine for, could you be overmedicated?

My family joke about how I will get in a car and the first thing I do is turn their music down.

This :(. Whenever we get a Uber, the first thing I ask the driver is to turn the music off. Then he gets pissed off and it' just morphs into a hostile ambience. I am not very popular these days with some family members and friends, in fact it's one of their comments that I am turning into a mini Sheldon that had me thinking whether I could be on the spectrum (again, apologies if that comes across as insensitive)

I've always been quite scatterbrained and rely on many lists and reminders to help me stay on track.

I have been this way ALL my life