Is this school newsletter too rude?

[RudeHead]

NC as obviously outing to other parents. This week's primary school newsletter had the following from the head^^ about parents' evening...

Thank you for all the positive comments that teachers received yesterday. They all work so hard for each child in their class. Though I have noticed that there are too many parents not attending the parents meeting and making individual appointments with teachers before and after school This will not be allowed. We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation. I have to keep the workload down for our teachers. If there is a reason why you cannot meet on the designated parent consultation, which is dated in September, then please write to me.

AIBU that this is unacceptably rude? I feel like I should write in or something. I get her point but surely there's a better way to make it?

Tis the tragedy of trolls - they always, in the end, go too far

YellowFish- can you link to the school please?

My sister works shifts so often can't make 13:30 - 19:00. I work away abroad about once per month so often can't make meetings on a pre-set day. I always work with the school closely to arrange a separate time if needed and I really appreciate their accommodating me. I think this is a little blunt but I'd not be offended - just a bit of an eyebrow raise!

I thought yellowfishes imaginary work place was funny but her (imaginary?) DH's imaginary school is hilarious. What is your imaginary house like yellowfish? And what imaginary car do you drive?

They have an opportunity to get involved in a much wider range of tasks at DH's school.

I bet they do. Probably scrubbing the toilets and going up chimneys. 🙄

the public sector, including the NHS is stuck in the 1800s with regards to meeting the needs of service users. Because there is no profit motive and no competition, they have absolutely no incentive to offer services that meet clients' needs or are convenient to them

And yet they do. Having this week had a close relative in an NHS hospital with a life-threatening illness, I have to say I'm in awe of the service and the people involved. They couldn't have been more caring and they couldn't have taken more trouble. Had we been in America, the relative in question would have been bankrupted by the costs of the treatment they've received.

Erm I'm a full time Radiographer so no!

No, straight to the point. If had been made a bit flowery no doubt there would be some who would misinterpret and not take point on board if needed.

“teachers can also carry out ...... tasks that they wouldn't have the chance to elsewhere, so they can really develop their skills“

That's hilarious. Do people really fall for that old ruse of getting them to extend their workload by calling it 'skills development.'

They have an opportunity to get involved in a much wider range of tasks at DH's school such as home visits. There is also a very limited office staff, so teachers can also carry out marketing, admin and events events management tasks that they wouldn't have the chance to elsewhere, so they can really develop their skills.

This is absolutely hilarious. So these teachers are willing to take on a full teaching load, plus be on call to do parent meetings and home visits at any time of the day, plus use their free time to be cheap secretarial assistants/PR and marketing experts, all for £17,500. I expect they do it all with a broom tied to their backsides so they can learn essential cleaning skills as well.

But, Yellowfish, why do they have to market this paragon of a school? Surely something as fantastic as this must be really well known and find itself, if anything, fighting eager parents off?

Am I still allowed to reply to the OP, even though we're 23 pages in?

Not rude, but clearly if so many parents are not adhering to the schedule they set, and therefore not attending at all, there is an issue the Head can't/won't consider which can't be waved away with a magic want. I don't think all the parents are just assholes to be honest.

Anyway - it'll be interesting for you to see how it goes.

If you are given six month's notice, even if you work shifts surely you can make some effort to get to the school within those times? Having worked in a school (not teaching) I have seen the same parents coming in at 8.30 a.m. or when school ends to corner the class teacher and start banging on about matters they could have put in a note, ignoring the fact that the teacher is trying to set up the classroom for the day or might have an after school commitment. I don't think this newsletter was rude - it tells you how it is.

I am sure everyone has given their personal experience but DH is a teacher himself (SMT) with a long commute and oversight of safeguarding. So, he might book it but something could arise. Equally,
I could be travelling for work.

So - we'd have to miss it if the H'teacher laid down the law and said no changes to that specific time. But we'd understand it was our problem and issue that we are missing out. There is a limit to how much the school can be expected to compromise - I agree - but also a limit at how cross they can be with parents who can't get there once that threshold has been crossed.

Totally agree with sentiment. Teachers work their tails off

Everyone deserves a home life , I don’t think that’s rude

I personally would need to take time off to make those times but I still feel that’s fair enough. It’s not ok to just book out of hours appointments with the teachers. They work ridiculous hours and don’t get paid for overtime.

Not rude.To the point

I had to leave parents Eve on more than on occasion as the teachers didn’t stick to appointment time, kept me waiting for over 45 minutes. I can’t afford to be late for work. On each occasion they were surprised I left...it didn’t occur to them that people work at various times through the day.

Every single parents evening there's parents who turn up at least five mins late for their appointment but still expect the full ten mins they've been allocated and make the teacher late for their next appointment.

Every single parents evening there's parents who arrive in time but want more than the allocated ten mins and make the teacher late for the next appointment.

Every single parents evening there's parents who do both.

More often than not it's parents not sticking to their appointment time and making the teacher run late for further slots. A parent who is five mins late or wants to take fifteen minutes instead of their given ten might think it's "only five mins" and no big deal, to a teacher, six doing this causes a half hour delay, and the parents evenings I've done, it's many more than just six people not sticking to their appointment time.

Not rude, and I think she would be thick skinned enough if you responded 'Sorry, don't get back from work till after 7pm'

Not rude at all.
Parent meeting any time from 1-7pm is perfectly reasonable.
Doesn’t need both parents to attend if it isn’t possible to.
For the odd few who can’t due to shift work or other issues you are invited to contact the head

You didn't go to Parents night did you??

We start at 1.30pm and finish at 7pm so whatever job you have, you can still make the consultation.

Neither of my husband nor I could make that consultation if it fell on a day when we both worked. Thankfully my children do well in school and are happy to go there and I’m involved in their learning/education as much as I possibly can be, so I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a parents evening that I didn’t consider a complete waste of time. If a headteacher came out with a patronising comment like this, he would be reminded to give his head a wobble. I purposely started making separate appointments for parents evenings when our school decided to do the parents evenings in the school hall instead of the classrooms. I’m not interested in hearing about other people’s children which you inevitably end up doing.

Sounds fine. If they want to be more accommodating they could offer say the first or last hour to telephone appointments so that of people couldn’t make it in person the teacher could speak to them over th phone for those co,planning about work being difficult about this.

My concern would be if parents aren’t permitted to speaking to teachers as necessary after school to tackle any issues as and when they come up for the teacher to be informed about and deal with.

Where I work it’s not unheard of for parents who can’t make it request a short email summing up progress. I think that would be reasonable as the teacher could write the email during the allotted time onnthat evening for the specific parent whilst in between appointment slots.

I think it’s refreshing for a Head to stand up for teachers’ work life balance. There are far too many who have huge expectations on teachers and their time.

It’s not rude. It’s blunt. But not rude.