AIBU to not want to wash the au pair's dishes?!

[WhatIsSleep123]

We just got an au pair for the first time and I'm not sure what to expect so would love some help please. I'm particularly interested if you have had au pairs before.
The au pair arrived last week to allow for one week of settling in, getting to know the area, etc.
Today was her first day and I am not very impressed. She just put her things in the sink and go to sit down on the sofa on her phone. Is it normal?
Does it mean that know I will have even more housework than before?
AIBU to not want to wash her dishes?

yes, it's a good list.
Depends on your agreement and pay rate, they usually work 5 or 6 hours a day x 5 days a week (sometimes with extra babysitting).

I am not sure you work? Depending on your need, she could do 2 hours in the morning, 3 hours in the afternoon/early evening
Or work from 7 to 12 every day and be free after if you need no help with the kids in the afternoon.

I definitely wouldn't expect her to wash up after every meal. That does seem too much. Taking it in turns though is totally fair.

Making a cup of tea when you make yours is totally normal! I would offer for any adult in the house when I stick the kettle on.

Have a word with her, start the way you mean to go on, she is rude so far.
Who wants to look after another grown up.

I'm usually the one washing up the dishes while DH is getting the kids ready for bed. I'm the first to leave for work every morning and the last one to get home. DH usually does school pick-up, unless he's stuck at work.
I don't mind making someone a cup of tea, I only mentioned it because I've noticed this evening that I'm rushing around like a headless chicken while she's sitting down. Wouldn't hurt to offer me to make a cup of tea once in a while.
The tea is the least of my worries, anyway. Need to get the list of tasks sorted ASAP

Buy a dish washer

Wouldn't hurt to offer me to make a cup of tea once in a while

Definitely! Hopefully that's something she will pick up on. In the meantime

Get a dishwasher

DH just said about getting a dishwasher. Perhaps we could buy more bowls and plates too so there are enough dishes to fill it up.
If you have a dishwasher, do you have enough dishes to put it on every night? Or do you do every other day?

You easily fill the DW with breakfast and dinner stuff - esp if you put pans in there too

Get a dishwasher! Yes you might need to get more plates and stuff if you want to put it on every other day, but it is a lifesaver honestly.

I know some people get the slimline ones but I don't think they work as well

Honestly if you have space and money to get one I don’t see why you’re living in the dark ages and washing up by hand

We've had 2 au pairs in the past and you do have to be clear ie written down. Re meal times because the time DP and I were getting home she fed herself and the kids and cleared up and we sorted ourselves out.
She did her own washing and changed kids beds weekly and hoovered their rooms. She did pick ups and drop offs and had unlimited use of a car. In return we paid her £100 a week and covered petrol and English classes costs x

I've noticed this evening that I'm rushing around like a headless chicken while she's sitting down
Is it her working hours? Or her free time? Does she know what to do?
She probably feels really awkward not knowing what is expected of her.

If it's her time off then she's entitled to sit down and relax. If it's her working hours then she needs to know what to do eg:
Monday 7am: get breakfast with children, clear up, help them dress
8.30am: walk Matthew and Emily to school
9am-10am: change children's beds & hoover bedroom
10am-3pm: free time
3pm: collect Matthew from school, give him snack (toast & banana)
4pm: collect Emily from netball club
5pm: finished for the day

Oh my goodness...the dishwasher is emptied JUST in time to completely fill it again at the moment (Builders, office in the house, we both work from home, I cook lunch for office staff)

I tell DH that an empty dishwasher is more valuable to me than diamonds...and I mean it.

BEST INVENTION EVER!

Our dishwasher is on twice a day!!

Unless you have a huge dishwasher then breakfast x4-5 people, lunch and glasses/mugs for at least one, dinner x4-5 people, a couple of saucepans, a casserole dish, utensils etc will easily fill it.

@BlueSkiesLies haha about living in the dark ages! I just never had a dishwasher before. My mum had one when I was younger but never used it much. Maybe that's why I never got one. Money and space are not an issue, they had a dishwasher when we came to see the house. We thought it would come with the house but it didn't. I was actually glad to have an extra cupboard so didn't think about a dishwasher until tonight.

@Smoggle very good point. I'm working on a timetable with clear tasks. I've been doing some research online of a typical day for an au pair.

I also suggest a dishwasher! We had a slimline one (which worked fine for years) when there was just two of us. Now we have a normal one and it's on at least twice a day! Much easier to say 'please put your dirty plates in the dishwasher'.

sit her down soon though! don't let her get into this routine when its not going to work because it will get harder to bring up and seem nit picking rather than just what in her job description.
so just get her over a "cup of tea!" haha and say " right shall we sit down now weve gotten to know eacohter and outline what we need you to do."
then id have ur dialy list and then other.so on that would be.your own washing.help with chores.wash your own dishes.

yes dishwashers are amazing.and sometimes they are fuller than other day it doesn't matter.and there can be a quicker wash for days you don't need it on.and a timer if your on daylight savings if you need to just put it on between certain cheaper times.over breakie lunch and tea trust me youll fill it.

We have a slimline dishwasher and it's on at least once a day, occasionally 2-3 if I'm cooking lots of different things.

Ask her to dry up while you wash, take it as an opportunity to chat.

If you have a dishwasher, do you have enough dishes to put it on every night? Or do you do every other day?

Even when it was just DH and me, my dishwasher ran every day - every night actually, gets empty first thing whilst my coffee cools down so everything can get put in it from the start.

They are lot more economical than washing by hand, new machines have lengthy but economical programs, mine is currently on for 3h30mn. I put absolutely everything in it --apart from toilet seats like some posters do recommend

Get a dishwasher. There are only 2 of us and we use it once a day. For a family you will easily have plenty of use for it.

DH nearly died when the old one packed up and he had to do the dishes for a few weeks.

@WhatIsSleep123 I was all like ‘what do I need a DW for, it’s no hassle to wash and dry’

Then in about 2008 DP (who didn’t live with me) threw a wobbly about being asked to wash the breakfast plates and he went out, bought a DW and we plumbed it in.

I was such an idiot. It’s amazing having a DW! Honestly you won’t regret it.