To ask if it is much harder having a baby at 39/40?

[mulberryapples]

Any experiences? And of course I’m worried I might not be able to conceive at all

Got pregnant instantly at 38, had baby at 39 (unplanned). Nothing to compare to, as it’s my first (and last!). Pregnancy easy, so far energy wise I have been fine, but can’t shift the baby belly, and being fat is really getting to me. My hips (or is it your pelvis?) are bigger as well so will never be the same shape again, and my tits are taking a hammering with the breastfeeding. The lack of freedom was a big shock to the system. A big adjustment going from being able to do what you want, when you want, how you want, to being trapped on a sofa with a boobie monster and having to strategically plan how to go to the toilet without the baby having a shit fit as you’ve had the audacity to put him down. I’m financially secure and have done a lot of things I wanted to when I was younger so not too resentful now. I’ve started looking forward instead to being able to go hiking, skiing, cycling, climbing etc with the boy when he’s old enough. Quite excited about that, we go swimming already which I was more excited about than him 😂

I'm 41 with a 9 month old (my 2nd) and everything went really easily. I was walking her brother to preschool (3 mile around trip) right up until 39 weeks and was back doing that walk 2 weeks later with the pram. She was born by emergency section but that had nothing to do with my age and everything to do with my sub optimal pelvis and the fact that dh's family all have giant heads (her head size was measuring 42 weeks at week 36).

My observation of others is that it's harder to have your first at age 39+ b/c you're more set in your ways. Becoming a parent is lifechanging at any age, but by late 30s, you're very used to being child-free

@lljkk Or alternatively, by late 30's, some people have had their fill of late nights and parties, and are happy to give it all up to stay in on Sat night with their young family

Just had a second one at 39 after having my first at 32. I’m knackered from it. Pregnancy and birth I found much easier beciase i was way more relaxed but the parenting part is way harder imo

I had my first at 20 and my fourth at 29. Physically it was easier at 20 but mentally it was easier at 29 although that may be because I was more experienced as a mother.
I think for me, it would be too tiring to have a baby in my late 30s/ 40s as I'm only 31 now and I tire a lot more than in my 20s and my energy levels are lower.

My first at 38 after a few years of trying, second at 41, with two miscarriages in between. Pregnancies were fine, births too, no problem breastfeeding and was totally fit and lost all the extra weight and more by the time the second child was 1.5. (then put some back on but that's a different story)

The kids are now 9 and nearly 6. I don't really notice any difference between myself and younger mums (yet). I don't think that they do either, we do just as many activities together (most mums around me are 5-7 years younger). The second child was a rubbish sleeper as a baby but other than that it's been fine. I am pretty relaxed and (I think) patient with them, and I don't know if my 25 old self would have been equally level-headed.

First at 21, third and last at 38. The last pregnancy wiped me out energy wise. I had terrible insomnia but wanted to sleep most of the day. It was however the best birth and most content baby.

I had my first at 33 and my second at 38. I remember feeling more tired and assumed it was age-related but the consultant was adamant it was because I already had a child and that I therefore had more on my plate and less scope to rest. I think he was right. I had my third and final at 41. There was no difference - from the ease of getting pregnant to the pregnancy itself to the recovery. The last birth was by far the easiest (by a million miles).

Like you I worried about whether I would get pregnant (I was 40) and decided to give us 6 months and if I wasn't pregnant by then I'd accept it as mother nature saying I shouldn't. I got pregnant immediately so never had to test my resolve or trust in mother nature!

First at 33, second 6 weeks after I turned 40. Pregnancy was easier (but had GD) and delivery by elective c section a walk in the park compared to the horrific “natural” delivery at 33. Conceived within 3 months both times. I’m tired, very tired. But I was just as tired at 33. I’m much much calmer, I don’t sweat the small stuff and I haven’t even opened any of the week by week emails. I wouldn’t hang about though, get going if you can xx

Thank you ... was quite young first time around and am seriously considering having another.

I had DD at 40 and DS at 42. I had a few miscarriages before DD but they weren’t age related. Following treatment I had DD and then it only took us 5 months to conceive DS at 42. They are teens now but even when they were babies/toddlers, I always had more energy than most of the other mums I socialised with.

First at 30, fourth at 39 (3 months off 40!) I was back on my feet far quicker with number four and had to keep reminding myself I'd only just had a baby. I think it was a combination of an easier birth (first was EMCS, number four my 3rd VBAC), more experience plus an easier baby, but I certainly wasn't hampered by the extra decade!

Physically a lot harder for me at 38 but I had twins so that didn’t help.