To ask if it is much harder having a baby at 39/40?

[mulberryapples]

Any experiences? And of course I’m worried I might not be able to conceive at all

I loved both mine...I had one when I was 19 yrs old..I was youthful,energetic,fun and busy trying to build a life....fast forward 21 years and I had another at 41 ! She is 7 now and although I have a far more settled and secure life with financial security and endless amounts of patience I have not got the energy I had before...its swings and roundabouts i think OP ! Concieving both was not a problem either time as neither were planned I have to confess!!!

I started ttc at 28. I had my first child at 39 and a half via ivf. Been trying to have second child since turning 41. It’s been incredibly difficult (get pregnant via ivf then miscarry). Determination helps alot. I wouldn’t wory about tiredness etc it’s about the same as everyone else’s.

One at 32 and one at 39. The second pregnancy was knackering and I felt like I aged so much, and the recovery of tougher.
Emotionally though I felt much more in control and have enjoyed the baby much more. So as always there she plus and minus points.

I’ve just got one who I had at 38. I found the pregnancy easy and I think I have more patience than I would have had 15 years ago say. Not going out and not drinking didn’t bother me at all as I felt like I’d done it all already. Like BertandRussell I found maternity leave like a lovely baby filled long holiday after being in a stressful job! I know it’s not the same for everybody though. I’m a lone parent and have been from the start so my experience may be different but I have to say it’s all been lovely and fine (generally speaking of course, we are not robots) One noticable thing would be the toll on my face - when I look at photos when I was pregnant I really have aged. And I don’t think that’s as obvious on mums in their 20’s and early 30’s.

I had my daughter at 35 and identical twin boys at 39. The second pregnancy was harder but I think more because it was twins. Having said that I felt ok in both pregnancies. I did have complications which may have been due to age buts it's hard to say. I do think conceiving twins though was related to my age. There's an increased risk of identical twins the older you get! I wouldn't let age hold you back if it's what you want. If you're fit and healthy there's no reason to think any pregnancy won't be fine.

33 with my 1st and 38 with my second. I am knackered but put that down to having 2 kids to wrangle. Both pregnancies were hard due to hg but I was more prepared second time round. I conceived 1st month for both babies. I sometime wish I'd had babies in my late 20s but I didn't meet my husband till 30 so not an option!

33 with first and 39 with second. I think I am more relaxed, less intense and anxious but everything hurts. I am tired. Awfully tired.

38. Not 39. I appear to be forgetful as well it would seem

I have found it quite hard for a number of reasons. I think I was a lot more anxious than I would have been at a younger and more carefree age. I’m not as fit as I was at 30 and get tired and impatient more easily. My dad is dead and my mum ageing (she was an older mother herself, though not as old as me), and now very ill, so juggling young child with helping her (she’s not local). Don’t. Want to say anything else but basically, I wish we could have had DD when we were younger, and I hope, if she has DC, she doesn’t have them as late as me.

DH has been ill recently so I am feeling quite down about this right now.

OP I got pregnant at 42 very easily. I know women who were 28-33 and had cycles of IVF.

Unfortunately you don't know if you can get pregnant easily unless you try.

I also had an easy birth even though I was categorised as high risk. I know women who were categorised as low risk but have had horrendous births.

Unfortunately you don't know whether your birth will be easy or not until you go through it.

Oh and the only time I was exhausted was while pregnant and anaemic. I actually complained and was told it was my age - no it was because I was anaemic and they didn't give me the fucking test results until 6 weeks later.

I had my 1st and 2nd at 17 and 18 years old, 3rd at 37 years old and currently carrying my 4th (and last) due when I'm 38 years old.

Definitely easier now than when I was younger.

My observation of others is that it's harder to have your first at age 39+ b/c you're more set in your ways. Becoming a parent is lifechanging at any age, but by late 30s, you're very used to being child-free.

Having a baby and bringing up a child is hard work whatever age you are.

I had dc1 and 2 at 31 and 33 and dc3 at 42. I don’t think I was anymore tired with dc3 and probably more relaxed and enjoyed him more but, he said 12 now and I’m definitely more knackered and finding secondary school all over again very tiring.

I had DS1 at 34 and DS2 a shade off 40. I can feel every single extra year.

I’m knackered, I feel old, my body felt creaky and I didn’t ‘bloom’ at any point.

DS2 is now 1 and I’m back at work 3 days and really enjoying it - work is much easier than being with the baby although I miss him.

I’d have preferred to have my babies younger but I wasn’t prepared to have them until I was ready with the right person.

Got pregnant ridiculously quickly both times - 1st and 2nd cycles respectively.

1st at 30. Easy pregnancy, bouncing about til the day I gave birth.
Took a while to recover as I haemorrhaged and was a bit weak and wobbly for weeks.
2nd at 39. Pregnancy was a bit tougher, tired and sore from 6months on. Gave birth and felt fantastic. Much easier this time around, I think because I was ready for it mentally so the physical side was ok as I knew it would pass.
Ttc is such a personal thing, not an issue for me but unfortunately seen a lot of friends struggle - at all ages though, not just the usual post 35. Good luck, hope it all works out for you.

Got pregnant first time three times, late 30s lost middle one to miscarriage.

DC at 38 & 40. Nothing to compare it to but I don’t feel old or knackered in comparison to other, younger, mums. I’d have been a terrible parent if I’d have had kids in my twenties I think.

I think having babies older keeps you younger

So much harder!

I had babies at 32, 35 and 39. The last one was by far the easiest. I wouldn't even say I was tired. The first two wrecked me.

1st at 34:
Lucky to have no probs in conception, pregnancy or birth (epidural). Bad PND , plus he was appalling sleeper but breastfed well.

Very early m/c in between.

2nd at 40:
No probs with conception, pregnancy (extra nuchal test given my age) or birth (no pain relief at all). No PND but breastfeeding nightmare. Only managed 2 /3 days. Good sleeper. Liked routine.

Good luck

I had DD2 in my 40s. The first few months were harder due to broken sleep but after that it was fine. We were more financially secure in our forties and able to afford domestic help which was a bonus.

I took 5 years to conceive DS1 at 33, (including losing a tube) DD3 was a result of the only effort that month,at 39.
Like a PP my pregnancy was ok (although I was knackered but had DD2 who was 1 to deal with as well) but I found the recovery a lot harder, and still suffer with hip issues 5 years on. I fèl that that was as much wear and tear though, so if I'd had my first at 39 might have pinged back together a bit better.