To not take his money?

[GirlOnIt]

My useless father has been in touch, haven't seen or heard from him in over a year. He's obviously got a wave of guilt or something, but apparently he's sold a business and he wants to give me some money towards my wedding and for the baby (his grandson he's never met).
I know this from him messaging Dp on Facebook because he's blocked on mine.

Dp thinks I'm being silly and he owes me so take it. But I feel he'll think he's somehow forgiven and made up for the past if I do.

He never paid maintenance, contact was sporadic at best. He's a crap dad.

I considered taking it and giving it to my mum, as back pay for ever he owes. But she's says she doesn't want his money.

I don't know, am I silly not to take it and just save it for my Ds?

Blocked him and told Dp to do the same. Dp falls for him though, he's like maybe he's generally sorry though and he's your dad.
Is parents are lovely and perfect and Dp doesn't fully understand what it's like. He can't grasp that a parent wouldn't do something for there child's benefit without good reason.
He's selfish and no one is more important to him than himself! That's all there is to my father.

Probably isn't even any money @BitchQueen90. Will be like the birthday presents I never got or if there is money it's probably from some dodgy means.

He'll be single and wanting to feel loved so reaches out to one of his kids. His ex's have probably all already told him to 'get fucked'!

Yep sounds like my dad @GirlOnIt 5 kids by 4 different women none of which have much to do with him. I'm the oldest child and his youngest is in care, poor kid.

The thing is if you accept the money you can bet he will think he's a great dad all of a sudden and go round telling people what a nice thing he's done.

Do you see your siblings at all @BitchQueen90? Or think of them as such?

My Dp doesn't really get that I don't think of them as brothers/sisters. Not that I don't care about them, I do. But it's not like it is for Dp with his brother.

@GirlOnIt I chat to one sister on Facebook occasionally but I didn't have a relationship with any of them growing up as going NC with my dad meant I stopped seeing them when I was 11 (only ever saw them once a month before that anyway and I wasn't close with them). I've never met my youngest sister, I only know of her situation through sister who I talk to on Facebook. She stayed in contact with our dad until adulthood but she has also been NC with him now for several years.

I think about them sometimes and feel sad that I never got a chance to have a relationship with them but I don't regret going NC. I have no brothers or sisters on my mum's side and so I think of myself as an only child.

Well done OP. Great message you sent him! Hold your head up high.

God for you OP. Love the give it to the kids who still need maintenance. You cannot be bought or charmed.

That's the same as me @BitchQueen90. I'm my mums only one so class myself as a only child. I'd see my siblings sometimes at my grandparents, but not regularly. Other than one brother the others are a far bit younger too.

I've never really though to go NC. He's never been bad when I have seen him, he's just not reliable and talks a load of bullshit.
Since my own Ds though I just can't understand it/him. And the bit of patience I always had because he's my dad and I have done fun memories of him, that's completely gone now.

Not worth it unless it's loads (thousands). And even then, only accept under the condition that he never asks for this back or expects anything from you, ever. Make it clear it does not change your opinion of him.