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AIBU?

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Original poster

To let 7 year old walk to and from school alone?

339 replies

RLE2 · 18/03/2019 08:26

DS is in year 3, we live about a 10 minute walk away from the school. We live in a quiet area, he won't be near any busy roads, the only roads he has to cross is our road and the school road. The school road isn't too busy as it's only people going to the school using it and our road is empty apart from neighbours. Is 7 too young? It's not unheard of for year 3's to walk by themselves at his school but most still walk with a parent, a few don't

OP posts:
Dotty1970 · 18/03/2019 09:34

And why on earth is your son different to your daughter!!

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 18/03/2019 09:35

Dotty the OP lived elsewhere when her DD was that age, the route is different.

OP - if it's accepted and the norm, you're happy with the route and your DS wants to do it then why not try it out with you trailing him? See how he gets on.

RumpoleoftheBaileys · 18/03/2019 09:36

Hell no.

itsnotso · 18/03/2019 09:37

It completely depends on the child. My DD7 is tiny compared to her peers and is still very much my baby, she still holds my hand the whole way their and practically squeezes me to death when I leave her at school. There's no way she would be ready to walk alone.

Plus there would be anxiety that they reach there. What if he falls the way? Who would he get assistance from?

blueskiesovertheforest · 18/03/2019 09:37

I don't think it's sad at all.

I get up at 5:45 every school day even if I'm on late shifts (or DH does if I'm on earlies and therefore already at work by then) to shower and dress and wake my 3 kids at 6am. I go downstairs with them and talk to them while they have breakfast and help with any last minute forgotten items/ money needed for school. I stand on the doorstep and wave the older 2 off as they join the two friends who wait at the end of the drive for them. I go back in and chat to the youngest for 25 minutes until he needs to leave. I generally don't have work til a lot later so 9 times out of ten I ask him whether he'd like me to drive him. He's very rarely said yes - only on the rare occasion he's forgotten to do some homework so wants to do it then leave later.

He always chooses to walk to the bus stops and take the bus so he can talk to his friends.

I'm proud of his confidence and independence as I am of his older siblings, why would I be. He isn't my pet, I don't get to keep him to myself. He's his own person, as he should be.

ApolloandDaphne · 18/03/2019 09:39

Mine did at that age. They only had to cross the road by the school and were able to do this safely. There were loads of children who walked alone from our street and my DDs would meet their friends to walk with them. There were also loads of parents walking to the school with younger children. It was perfectly safe and I agree that it teaches children a sense of independence.

killpop · 18/03/2019 09:41

I always find the hysteria strange here over kids walking to school. Especially the ones where 10 year olds have to be walked to and from the classroom door and handed over like a baby in a nursery.

OP from what you've said, I would. Even better, is there the opportunity to run a 'walking bus' for any other children nearby?

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 18/03/2019 09:41

formerbabe it's not intended as a babysitting thing more something I and the mums I know do often informally. Like "well I'm still walking Bob in so if she ever needs an adult she can shout me". So with respect you're wrong, I'm not shifting any responsibility.
Sometimes a young teen may need adult assistance but you wouldn't insist on still walking them time school?

anonymousbird · 18/03/2019 09:43

My daughter did from last term of Y4, but walking with a friend.

In Switzerland, they walk to school from Age 4.

Makegoodchoices · 18/03/2019 09:44

I think our school would be quite concerned about that. Year 5 is the norm, at that point it’s encouraged.

IsAStormApporaching · 18/03/2019 09:45

The area I live I would say 100% no. The whole walk is along a main road and 5 road to cross.
I do belive in certain rural areas this would be acceptable and think it is a great opportunity for you child to become independent.
Its also quite important to know, does the school have a good communication system if a child does not turn up to school? (Just incase)

StoppinBy · 18/03/2019 09:45

It's a No for me and it has nothing to do with Road sense as my DD only has to cross one big driveway at a daycare if I let her walk. For me, it is about her not being old enough to think quickly if someone with bad intentions approached her.

bloodywhitecat · 18/03/2019 09:46

Children under 8 have difficulty in judging speed and distance, they can also be too small to be able to see hazards. They lack the understanding to be able to make safe judgements when crossing roads. Drivers in our rural area have little respect for pedestrians of any age, lots of them drive down our quiet country lanes and roads with little consideration for the hazards that all around them. I'd walk with my 7 year old, at this stage I would still be seeing them over the last road they needed to cross and then gradually withdrawing until they were able to complete the walk themselves.

mrsdavys · 18/03/2019 09:46

I think 7 is far too young!!

formerbabe · 18/03/2019 09:47

formerbabe it's not intended as a babysitting thing more something I and the mums I know do often informally. Like "well I'm still walking Bob in so if she ever needs an adult she can shout me". So with respect you're wrong, I'm not shifting any responsibility.

So why can't you walk her in and provide that reassurance to yourself and her that an adult is there in an emergency?

FatKatt · 18/03/2019 09:48

Never. In a million years.

Isleepinahedgefund · 18/03/2019 09:49

I used to walk to and from school when I was seven, twenty minute walk along main road and crossing several smaller streets as well as the main road. However the difference was that I walked with my older brother, we joined up with other kids on the way and we had been much better prepared road sense wise than kids seem to be today.

It's the same issue as letting your kids play out - you can't because no one else does so they would be playing on their own, and that isn't safe. When I played out as a kid there was a whole group of us - safety in numbers.

So no, I wouldn't let my seven year old walk to school in her own when she's in her three (next school year).

SonEtLumiere · 18/03/2019 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 18/03/2019 09:51

My oldest did when he was 7 (he's 20 now) The way to school was over 1 road (our quiet cul de sac) and then down a footpath, through a park and to the school. Sometimes he's walk alone, sometimes with friends. It was always busy as it was the best way to get to the school from our estate.

When we moved we lived 1.5 miles away from his new school, so I picked him up. I then decided to let him walk to his brothers school just down the road to meet me, but the school wouldn't let him and sounded appalled that his previous school had just let the kids walk without written permission from the parents! Oops!

Designerenvy · 18/03/2019 09:54

I think 7 is too young

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 18/03/2019 09:54

Because we've agreed as a family after a phased approach since October that she's ready to go by herself. We've gone over emergency scenarios with her and made sure she feels safe and ready. In the unlikely event something happens there are lots of familiar adults and kids around (some she's known since she was a baby) and I'm easily contactable and 5 minutes away.

It is a balancing act but ultimately you judge the right time for your child.

If I was to wait until I was 100% she would never be in an accident I'll be walking her to work Confused

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 18/03/2019 09:58

We’re in Scotland and I think my ds2 walked with his brother from p2, and on his own from p4 when ds1 started high school. That was totally normal for the area. I know ds1 walked from p4 (age 8) as well because ds2 was at nursery in the opposite direction. It does seem very area dependent though.

blueskiesovertheforest · 18/03/2019 09:59

formerbabe your arguments stand against "letting" a 17 year old do anything alone, let alone a 7 year old. People and families are not islands adrift in a sea of enemies, we're part of communities.

howabout · 18/03/2019 09:59

My DD3 is 7. We also have a 10 minute walk. I walk half way with her over the busy road and until the school is in sight. I watch her do the last bit herself with the lollipop man.

There are a lot of DC close enough to do the same. The school is trialling opening the doors 10 minutes early to let the DC trickle in and settle down on arrival. The idea is for a more relaxed start to the day for the DC and fewer parents hanging around the playground.

IHateUncleJamie · 18/03/2019 09:59

Even my bonkers mother with no risk aversion didn’t let me walk to and from school until yr 5 and this was 30 ŷears ago.

Seven is FAR too young, IMO. There are other ways of encouraging independence.