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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let 7 year old walk to and from school alone?

339 replies

RLE2 · 18/03/2019 08:26

DS is in year 3, we live about a 10 minute walk away from the school. We live in a quiet area, he won't be near any busy roads, the only roads he has to cross is our road and the school road. The school road isn't too busy as it's only people going to the school using it and our road is empty apart from neighbours. Is 7 too young? It's not unheard of for year 3's to walk by themselves at his school but most still walk with a parent, a few don't

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 18/03/2019 10:47

I did not let the DC in the garden because of the small risk of being hit by lightning

@GirlRaisedInTheSouth Does that mean if it's not raining, you will let your DC in the garden? If so, do you go out there with them and watch them every minute?

ScarletBitch · 18/03/2019 10:49

Omg no way! My youngest is 7 and not a chance would I let him walk on his own to school. Oh my heart is pounding even thinking about it!

crimsonlake · 18/03/2019 10:50

Is there any reason you want or need them to walk on their own, would they be happy and confident to do it? Personally I would not allow it, as I enjoyed taking them to school, then luckily I was in a position to do so.

NCforthis2019 · 18/03/2019 10:50

I wouldn’t personally but it’s not my child.

lyralalala · 18/03/2019 10:53

In your shoes I wouldn’t because you are obviously not 100% ok with it. My DS started walking alone at 8. Similar journey and he was ready for it.

You know your child. No-one else can really judge.

Will your school let you? At our school they've tightened up on safeguarding and you can only walk to and from school alone in years 5 and 6. For other years you can't even walk them to the playground and then leave, you have to remain with them until the school goes in.

Your HT might be in for a shock the first time someone challenges that.

Schools can’t actually insist on this. They can try, but reporting to SS (which would be the default) would get them the short shrift unless you are about to dripfeed that the school is at the side of a motorway.

I’ve worked in several schools where HTs have tried this policy and it only works for as long as it takes for the first parent to realise it’s not actually up to the school to decide.

ScarletBitch · 18/03/2019 10:53

@Catscratchclub oh lol my 7 years favourite answer is "Can't Remember"! Literally everyday I ask him and I seem to know more of what he has done than him!

Orangecookie · 18/03/2019 10:57

I wouldn’t, no.

Limensoda · 18/03/2019 11:07

Depends on the child.
I walked to school and back on my own at that age, lots of kids did. It's not usual these days mainly due to busy roads or because parents are far more fearful.

PerpendicularVincent · 18/03/2019 11:14

No I wouldn't, 7 is far too young to have the road sense/not get distracted/ not chat to strangers.

PCohle · 18/03/2019 11:17

I wouldn't.

Young children are much less skilled at crossing roads than adults and teenagers so are much more likely to be involved in accidents. They lack the ability to accurately judge car speed.

psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fxhp0000378

Janel85 · 18/03/2019 11:18

There is no way I would let any of my children walk to school on their own at that age, why is it you want them to?! Are you absolutely 100 per cent sure they can deal with crossing the road, studies say that children under the age of 12 cannot judge the speed of an oncoming car properly. How would you seven year old react if approached by a stranger? Are you 100 per cent sure they would know what to do in that situation?

Orangecookie · 18/03/2019 11:22

I also think, children are better at independence having had a long period of learning accompanied by an adult, plus doing things when are over ready rather than under ready. They make less mistakes and have experience of life to fall back on.

So some years yet of getting your child to stand on the kerb and tell you when it’s safe to cross.

I also think it’s really important to keep in touch with the school, in person, for as long as you can. Just popping your head in or chatting to other parents.

Orangecookie · 18/03/2019 11:26

P.s. I walked to school from the age of 6. I have been targeted by a paedophile, got bullied by other kids, and a classmate was killed crossing the road on the same route.

I think that I have a different perspective on the good old days!

Excited101 · 18/03/2019 11:29

Absolutely not at 7, the ones that are ‘fine to do it’ are just lucky.

nokidshere · 18/03/2019 11:40

7yr olds are not "mature and sensible".

Children are unpredictable and easily distracted.

I have no issues with parents deciding if their child is ready or not to walk to school alone, but at the very least address the expectations realistically, and make sure your child is prepared properly. Just because they haven't been distracted before, or haven't crossed the rd without looking properly doesn't mean they won't at some point.

Do they know what to do in an emergency? Or if someone approaches them or bullies them? Do they know their address and a phone number for you?

My DS went to school alone, a 5 minute scooter ride over one road, from the age of 8. He got knocked down by a car (not on the main road but the slip road near school). Thankfully I live in a community where everyone knows me, knew where I would be at that time, and knew who my son was and so I was able to get to him quickly.

ahtellthee · 18/03/2019 11:40

I'm with @blueskiesovertheforest. I also live abroad and it is very common practice for the children to walk themselves to and from school from 6ish. I also used to do it (in the UK), my mum had a baby when I was 8 and so I was allowed to walk to and from school from that age. My parents were very responsible.

howabout · 18/03/2019 11:51

Some of the comments about older DC being more ready are eye opening. I live across the road from the secondary school. The teenagers jay walk for fun and most cannot judge speed and distance even when not glued to their mobiles. They also have zero awareness when walking or hanging off pavements.

If some of the more cautious posters saw them they would still be holding their hands and escorting them into the classroom. The reality is that very few teenagers are "ready" as defined by this thread. The difference is a car is very unlikely not to see a gaggle of unruly teenagers and risk hitting them by not slowing down.

KrazyKatlady · 18/03/2019 12:03

haven't rtft but when you say "only the road the school is in". All the schools near here are in quiet suburban streets which are often empty at 11am/midday but absolutely rammed and very busy at school times. We also only 2 roads to cross between our house and school but as I was crossing with DS once, he was nearly knocked over because we waited for a car to pass and then they reversed very quickly to park in a space that wasn't a proper space on a corner, with yellow lines. It was terrifying !

PregnantSea · 18/03/2019 12:12

I would allow this. I grew up in a very rough area and walked to school alone by that age. You know your area and your child so it's your call.

TeacupDrama · 18/03/2019 12:18

I was mature enough to walk to school at 7 (albeit 40 years ago) Swiss, Norwegian, German etc children are mature enough what is so different about UK children that they are not mature enough even at 9-10?

Research shows that early exposure to risky activities makes children better at dealing with them hence forest schools using real fire and sharp knives at 3-5 years old,
my DH was brought up in a rural area where shooting was part of the farming life, it was common knowledge that you could teach a child to use a gun safely between 8-10 or after 17 but 11-14 year olds were too cocky / full of themselves to listen properly to safety and general instructions and therefore could not be trusted but a 9 year old would listen carefully and be more responsible

Redwinestillfine · 18/03/2019 12:26

I didn't think kids could judge speed of cars at that age, a study by royal Holloway university of London shows primary age kids can't judge the sped of cars going more than 20 mph so personally I wouldn't....

Bookworm4 · 18/03/2019 12:27

Where are these schools that dictate whether or not your child comes to school alone or with a parent? The schools mine attended in primary it was only P1/2 that they had to be collected by someone, never heard of this.

formerbabe · 18/03/2019 12:32

You can still teach road safety and independence whilst accompanying them. I walk with my DC...I ask them to decide when it's safe to cross the road and point out what drivers are doing.

KarmaStar · 18/03/2019 12:34

Alone all the way,every day?a big no OP.
It's different with a group of dc with one or two older ones,but based on what you have put them absolutely not.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 18/03/2019 12:36

Bookworm we are in London. As far as I know it's standard for walking to and from school alone to be years 5 and 6 only. DD is year 4 and actually I think she'd be fine, especially as she can hook up with a couple of other year 4s so they walk together. Not a busy road but a lot of roads to cross, 10-15 mins.