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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let 7 year old walk to and from school alone?

339 replies

RLE2 · 18/03/2019 08:26

DS is in year 3, we live about a 10 minute walk away from the school. We live in a quiet area, he won't be near any busy roads, the only roads he has to cross is our road and the school road. The school road isn't too busy as it's only people going to the school using it and our road is empty apart from neighbours. Is 7 too young? It's not unheard of for year 3's to walk by themselves at his school but most still walk with a parent, a few don't

OP posts:

Mookatron · 19/03/2019 09:02

Studies show that a child is more likely to be injured in an rta if unaccompanied and the severity of injury is worse. There are other supporting data but I don't actually want to present the argument that we shouldn't allow our kids to walk to school alone. However doing it too young and before they have the tools to deal with different situations is pointless because if something knocks their confidence at that age it can ruin the whole thing. My dd1 has been walking since 9, in a SE London suburb. She had a couple of wobbles in the first few weeks but now sees it as a great privilege. I wouldn't have let her at 7 (but then school wouldn't have allowed it either).

Dramatical · 19/03/2019 09:15

What other factors?

Bullying for a start. It's absolutely rife and can lead to serials consequences. Even if it didn't, who wants their 7yo exposed to people who are mean to them?

Shookethtothecore · 19/03/2019 09:17

Our school won’t let a child not be picked up until year 4

ShatnersWig · 19/03/2019 09:27

Bullying for a start. It's absolutely rife and can lead to serials consequences. Even if it didn't, who wants their 7yo exposed to people who are mean to them?

But that can - and does - happen in the playground, regardless of walking to school.

formerbabe · 19/03/2019 09:30

Don't over estimate your child's abilities and judgment. My ds used to take a football everywhere! We had so many chats about what to do if you dropped it and it went in the road. We discussed how he wouldn't run to get it. He'd stay on the pavement and I'd get it for him if it was safe. We discussed how it didn't matter if he lost it because I'd happily buy him a new one etc etc. I really thought he understood and he said all the right things in relation this potential situation. Then one day, walking to the park, he dropped the ball, it rolled into the road and he instinctively ran to get it and I had to pull him back to stop him running into the road. Kids panic, situations are changeable and they don't always know how to deal it.

formerbabe · 19/03/2019 09:33

I also find it really disingenuous when people say how it's so fantastic that other cultures or countries allow their children to walk home from 5 years old, whereas in this country they'd be calling the parents of these children feckless and irresponsible and reporting them to ss.

Dramatical · 19/03/2019 09:35

But that can - and does - happen in the playground, regardless of walking to school.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to protect our children though, does it? In school it's limited to children from that school. Out of school you have high school kids etc kicking about as well.

ShatnersWig · 19/03/2019 09:41

@Dramatical That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to protect our children though, does it? In school it's limited to children from that school. Out of school you have high school kids etc kicking about as well

No, but you can't wrap them in cotton wool and bubble wrap at the same time either. Otherwise, you wouldn't even allow kids out in the playground to ensure they couldn't be bullied. As for the high school kids, again, that's dependant on personal circumstances as I said earlier. It's right to assess the situation on what you KNOW - how far to the school, if it's busy with people at that time, other kids walking to school, if the roads are quiet or busy, if there are high school kids who might give a 7yo a kicking if they happen to walk by, if your 7yo has their heads screwed on or is a daydreamer etc

There's only so much "what if" one can live by. We can minimise, but we also need to be rational.

Skisunsnow · 19/03/2019 10:02

Too young in my opinion. My children's school only allows it in year 6!

Lizzie48 · 19/03/2019 10:21

My DD2 has just turned 7 and I wouldn't even think of letting her walk to and from school on her own. I don't allow DD1 (10 next week) do it either. But then, they would have to cross a busy road to get to school, so it isn't really an option.

My DB and I used to walk to our primary school at the ages of 7 and 5, but it was just a case of going round the corner to get there.

Roads are so much busier than they used to be, so comparisons with the past are not really valid.

CandyflossKid · 19/03/2019 10:26

In my personal opinion, it's not so much about whether he is sensible enough to walk home by himself, but more about who may be watching an unaccompanied child regularly walking home by themselves.

anniehm · 19/03/2019 10:41

Mine did but I could see the gate from my drive

Dramatical · 19/03/2019 10:45

No, but you can't wrap them in cotton wool and bubble wrap at the same time either

I agree, I just don't think that walking your child to school when they are 7 years old means you are wrapping them in anything.

Freddiesfling · 19/03/2019 11:58

Mum of 4, older children have been allowed out to play since... 6, youngest son is 5 and can go to very local park with his siblings
(11&8) my oldest has been walking home from school since aged 7 on odd occasion... we have since moved over a mile and half away so won’t allow 8 year old to walk home until year 5 and that’s if she wants to.
Everyone is different, we know our kids best... school allows it from year 3.

Twotinydictators · 19/03/2019 12:58

@isabellerossignol @lyralalala Sorry, should have clarified we drive as it's too far to walk, so the specific risk to my children of being seriously injured or killed as a pedestrian on the way to school is zero.

TheKitchenWitch · 19/03/2019 14:07

But what makes the situation in the UK any different than in other European countries where it is completely normal for small kids to walk to school on their own?

ineedaholidaynow yes, lots do indeed meet up and walk with friends along the way. DS1 didn't have any friends living along the high road that he walked to Kindi so he walked on his own. When he moved on to Primary school, it was a different route (and further away) so he often did walk to and from school with friends.
Some parents do drive their kids, of course, especially if they attend the before-school childcare and are dropped on the parent's way to work.
There aren't many kids who live so far that they would need to get a bus because we have strict catchment areas and generally you would atttend your local school (they have to take you). If you sent your kids to a private school then yes, they would need to get a bus or you'd have to give them a lift.

Where does the stranger danger paranoia come from in the UK? It seems to come up and again and again on these threads. I have never, ever heard anyone here (in Germany) mention it as something that they worry about. It's just not on their radar. That's not to say it doesn't happen, and children are of course taught about not going off with anyone etc. But, much like leaving your kids at home on their own for a while, it is just not something which is seen as negligent or wrong.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 19/03/2019 14:20

It sounds fine to me.

Mookatron · 19/03/2019 14:23

My guess is that there are quite localised cultural conventions on this. Presumably you live in a particular part of Germany and so can't decisively describe the rest of it, just as I live in London and can't decisively say y3 kids don't walk to school on their own across the UK.

I suppose that's why the OP is getting such a variety of responses to her question, whereas if she'd asked people locally she would have had more consistent responses. You could even argue that if it's not 'done' generally it's less safe to do (because, perhaps, a driver isn't anticipating a 7 year old walking alone; or a lone kid really is alone and not in a clump of friends walking in the same direction).

Spiderbanana · 19/03/2019 14:31

Another person not in the UK anymore. DS walked alone from age 6 and kids get the team and buses lone from that age too. Wouldn't have occurred to me to do it in the UK but here it's the norm

It is a vicious cycle though. Parents worry about safety so they drive the kids to school, so there are fewer kids on the street and the kids walking are less safe.

I would be interested in stats relating to the increased risk of RTA involving kids at the school gates if there are fewer cars there. Don't know if there are any out there

Lizzie48 · 19/03/2019 14:32

@TheKitchenWitch my concern wouldn't be stranger danger, as most children who are abused are abused by family members. The chance of a child being snatched on the way to and from school is very remote indeed. (Our DDs do know not to go off with strangers, obviously.)

My concern is purely the busy road they would have to cross on their own.

TemporaryPermanent · 19/03/2019 14:35

I think it's fine, ds did from 6.5. Talk through what to do if things go wrong and lay down the law about road safety all the time.

Helendee · 19/03/2019 14:48

TheKitchenWitch

But stranger danger is a real and ever possible threat as I found out. It pays to be cautious.

caringcarer · 19/03/2019 14:51

No, I think yabvu. You are responsible for your child. It is just not safe. What if a paedophile approached him and snatched him? People always think it would not happen to them but it does happen. Don't risk your child's safety. Why can't you walk with child?

Natsku · 19/03/2019 14:53

Regarding road safety, parents are discouraged from driving their children so less cars around the school anyway and at the end of the summer there's always public reminders to drivers about being watchful of young children walking to school and signs go up along main school routes to remind as well.

In small towns like mine its pretty much a non-issue, quiet roads so DD can follow my rule about only crossing when no cars at all or when they have come to a complete stop. Would be more difficult if there were busy roads but I expect traffic light crossings are used more in busier areas (we only have one crossroads with lights in our entire town!)

formerbabe · 19/03/2019 14:54

The threat from strangers is low but still exists...sadly, in our local area, there have been reports of primary age children being approached by men in cars. My ds is in year 6 and walks home occasionally. We have discussed what to do. I've taught him he doesn't have to be polite to anyone in this situation. He is to scream, shout, run and make as much noise as possible. We've talked through several different scenarios. Don't totally dismiss the threat from strangers please.

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