DH using American words... AIBU?

[Sleeplesss]

I met my DH 10 years ago and we have a really good relationship. One thing, though, that has always bugged me a little is that he uses some American words. Think along the lines of calling a lift and elevator or calling a mobile phone a cell phone. I have never made an issue of this but normally correct him in a jokey way rather than make a fuss of it. Tonight he said cell phone and I did the jokingly correcting him thing and he has got really upset with me. Saying I'm making him feel stupid. Obviously that is not what I'm trying to do but at the same time, it really really grates in me. I explained to him, in the nicest possible way, that if it were me, I'd rather be corrected as it's a habit I'd want to break. He's been to America once and doesn't have any American friends/family so it obviously must come from watching American tv. When I suggested that to him, he said that I don't know that for certain. Yes I do, where else could it possibly come from?

So I'm just wondering, is it wrong of me to want him to break this habit? AIBU?

LEELULUMPKIN that's a very beige vision of the future.

Dialects and reinvigorating dying minority languages are the linguistic fashion. Globalised English for international business communication is a necessary tool, but nobody's native language.

I do this. It’s not an affectation, it’s a result of reading a lot of American forums. It means that when I reach for a word sometimes the one that comes is American.

So recently I’ve noticed myself saying “trash can”, “dog leash”, and “soda”. I suppose I could take extra time to correct myself and say “litter bin”, “lead” and “fizzy drink”. But I don’t mind my language drifting a bit as long as it can be understood.

I’m always editing my speech to remove words and expressions that are now offensive. English is littered with them. Editing out Americanisms just isn’t a priority for me.

It’s weird to hear that posters like those above would laugh or roll their eyes if they heard me say “trash can” in my English accent. Or be actively irritated or enraged by it.

I’ll stick with my Americanisms, but I won’t use “entree” for main course because that is just confusing.

You are definitely being unreasonable. Who cares if he was using American words. Are you unhappy about something else in your relationship? Perhaps that is what is making you nit pick.

But Rhi, do people talk a lot about trash cans and dog leashes on your American forums? Because unless you hear/read this version on the word a lot more than the British versions I really can't understand why you would stop using words that you have grown up with and start using a different word.

When I read the op and though YABU and how controlling it seems to police someone elses language like that and where the hell do you get off? and then BadLad brought up, 'could care less', and now I know I'm a terrible, terrible hypocrite.

I have never made an issue of this but normally correct him in a jokey way rather than make a fuss of it
Well you ARE making an issue of it by PA correcting your stupid, useless partner who can't talk properly and who should do so to appease you.

As opposed to inwardly rolling your eyes and ignoring it because it's just one of his things and you love him.

Yabu correcting someone is far more irritating.
I use a few American words, pants, trash, candy. I watch a lot of American shows and youtubers and words have always been exchanged, I'd be if Dh was correcting my language when I used them.

Has he gone as far as to say that he "could care less" yet? eh?

David Mitchell on 'could care less'.

I had an ex who once said to this to me: " You should try to sound more British and less American so you'll sound less dense."

I am neither American nor British and English is my second language. Three guesses as to why he is an ex. I can't stand snobbery of any kind, particularly from people who speak even fewer languages than I do.

I am with your partner, OP. Why do you expect other people to change harmless habits? You are projecting your own insecurities onto him and it says more about you than it does about him.

@PetuniaPetunia

Yes, American forums I read are usually advice ones so people talk about the same things as on mumsnet. Trash cans not put where they should be, dogs not on leashes and so on.

I read mumsnet too obviously because here I am. But 9/10 sites I visit are US dominated.

Has he gone as far as to say that he "could care less" yet? eh?

In Britain, the phrase is usually "I couldn't care less". Meaning I don't care at all, literal meaning that it is not possible for me to be less interested, as I am already at minimum level of caring about the matter.

Americans often say "I could care less" to mean that they don't care at all. This causes consternation to some non-Americans, because if taken literally, it doesn't have the intended meaning. If you could care less, then your level interest could drop to a lower level. Therefore it doesn't mean absolute minimum interest in the matter.

Mansplaining frequencies closed, Captain.

Does he work in an office with lots of non English people? I work for an American company with lots of Americans, mainland Europeans and Asians and cell phone is very common. I have to say I use it a lot too.
Its a phone with a cell- makes sense really.

Lad, why on Earth do you think I'm a man? Also, you need to look up the definition of mansplaining. Nice try.

@CaptSkippy I don't know or care which gender you are. I was talking neither to you nor about you.

Lad was apologising for mansplaining!

The clue's in the username.

My husband is American, as are most of my friends. I’ve taken on a lot of their vocabulary naturally due to being surrounded by American culture. I have no problem with this. If someone thought to correct me I wouldn’t be too happy and I wouldn’t tolerate it in a relationship.

I appologize for misunderstanding. I thought that "Captain" was a reference to my username.

Oh, I see.

No, it was a reference to Kirk, Piccard, Sisko or Janeway, although I had in mind Piccard.

I thought your post was going to be light hearted from the title but you sound genuinely angered by him using these phrases.

With everything going on in the world, is it really worth making someone else feel shit about using a different but perfectly understandable word / phrase than you would?

Correcting him lots then not allowing him to be pissed off about it, while explaining to him the root of this "problem" which isn't a problem for him makes you sound like a joyless fun sponge!

Bloody hell, first world problems much?! Life is way too short to spend time making other people feel shit.

@blueskiesovertheforest

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo presumably they still have the two options in their passive vocabulary, but are choosing to limit themselves and so reduce the range of meaning they convey. Obviously everyone with a wide vocabulary adapts according to context and keeps academic or complex or profession specific words out of casual, informal conversation. There's no reason to limit the range of meaning you are able to convey by cutting [feel an emotion] "about" out of your active vocabulary after using it for 35 years though, except for the wish to sound like an American teenager...

So do you genuinely think Americans only use “excited about” and don’t use “excited for”?? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 That’s really cute of you!... And ignorant.

I understand that it’s annoying, but being corrected for something that is natural to you can really hurt. Stop correcting him now it says it hurts him.

Unless an adult has asked for corrections, it's incredibly rude and unreasonable. That's treating them like a young child. When you know what they mean and they have been doing it as long as you've known them, what is the point in continuing to get into this at all, let alone after a decade? No matter how grating it is, I can't imagine it's worse and more demoralising than having people repeatedly correct you.

When my kids were little, I had plenty of people tell me that it didn't matter if I corrected their Americanisms. I'm American so obviously they'll pick some up and no one cares. Overly optimistic lies, I regularly still have people either correct me or tell me why a particular American expression is bad to the point I spent a while avoiding them as much as possible (except schedule, which like schism I prefer the Latin-from-Greek influences on the English pronunciation and ignoring the French alterations). I also get people who think it's funny to mock me saying Britishisms and local phrases in my American accent. I'm screwed either way so I might as well say what I want.

My kids have a bit of a twang and get people who barely know them quiz them on whether they say pavement or sidewalk or some shite like that. I literally had someone do it to them at a funeral last year because the jackass thought it was very important he knew if they had it "right". It's just rude and having a laugh at our expense while pretending to care at all about preserving any variant of British English.

Plenty of Americans in the US use British words - much like the image that Americanisms are more casual, there are certain places in the US where Britishisms are seen as more formal and academic. Also, there has been lots of British TV and media in the US since at least the '70s. I grew up watching it with my grandmother and previous posters have already mentioned the Peppa Pig kids going on the US at the moment with the recent influx of British cartoons that aren't redubbed for the US market, often with their Britishisms are part of the appeal of them.

I'd correct him every time. We probably wouldn't have made it to 10 years.

If you'd corrected me we wouldn't have made it to the next date!

If you've never left Guildford except for a holiday in Florida and a day trip to London, it's an affectation to adopt an American or cockney accent.

The same would be true if someone from Wisconsin decided to adopts a cockney accent and slang having never lived in the east end of London.

Yes, exactly this. It's the affectation that makes me wince. A Brit referring to cell phones and diapers and cilantro and faucets, it's so affected. And seems quite teenage to me.

A friend of mine did go out with an American who was a complete Anglophile and he was all 'bloody'' this, and 'mate' that. The lovechild of Damon Albarn circa 1994 and Dick van Dyke. Had only been to the UK once and no he wasn't doing anyone harm, and he may well be out there in the wilds of Pittsburgh still 'bollocks-ing away but it just seemed strange to try and wholesale alter the way you speak. And a bit irritating.

Although if the OP's partner has been like this since she's known him it does seem a bit pointless to make an issue of it all this way down the line.