AIBU at this nasty comment??

[Scootagal]

This is quite an old comment but something reminded me of it today and it got me riled again...

I was pregnant and out for lunch with my female work colleagues. One of them started saying she would probably never have kids because....'it would probably have Downs Syndrome, or die inside me'....

Nobody said anything but I was seething at how inconsiderate it was to say in front of someone who was pregnant and also just how ignorant and callous. And also that nobody thought to pipe up to say um that's maybe a bit inappropriate...

Am I being unreasonable in my anger about it or should I have been more thick skinned??

She was saying it about her potential child, not yours. Having said that, it's pretty crass to even mention something like that in front of a pregnant woman.

She sounds potentially mentally unwell, TBH.

She’s a dick.

You might want to ask MNHQ to delete this thread OP as you've double posted.

People are replying on your other one.

It's a very strange comment to make in any context really. But it indicates deep seated issues with her rather than aimed at you I would think.
I would feel a bit sorry for her and a bit meh at her insensitive comments.
Let it go.

Strange and twisted. I would have felt uncomfortable.

Sorry I've double posted. My phone crashed! She said it whilst laughing...it was really odd. There were a lot of strange dynamics in that office. She once kept saying to my single boss about being over the hill...on the shelf...past it...thinking back she probably did have issues... just managed to upset me again today.

I think probably no one said anything because they were all cringing and wanted the conversation to move on ASAP rather than they didn't see a problem with it.
What an arsehole

Replies on your other thread

How long ago?

Maybe her family had a history of missed miscarriage or DS.

Why get vexed about it today?

I would assume she had a family or personal history of these things. Not everything is about you

Do where do we draw the line OP? People should never talk about death/cancer in front of me/my kids because my partner/their parent died of cancer? Or never talk about disabilities because someone somewhere may have a disability??? Where’s the red line? Or is it only pregnancy?

Bellavista1540 - was more the way she said it/phrased as opposed to the subject matter.

Hedgehogblues - maybe not but I thought a tad insensitive if she did have a history of those things she might understand why....also she had a habit of saying what I consider strange things occasionally.

Nannyred- last year - I thought about it again as a friend was worried about amniocentis results.

Thanks all - I think I'm going with the arsehole diagnosis.

I think that’s so weird...it would make me uncomfortable too. Sounds a bit of a weird thing to say when discussing whether she’d have kids. Couldn’t she have just said something like ‘oh no, things probably wouldn’t go well anyway’ rather than ‘die inside me’!! Very odd

I don't know, based on what you've said here, she was not talking about your baby or pregnancy. For all we know she could have had losses or dx. YABU to let it still bother you and to think you were the only person to have been pregnant. She might well have posted: AIBU to think it was insensitive of colleagues to bring pg woman to lunch when they know my history?

Sounds to me like she is the sort of person who has had a lifetime of disappointments, disasters, bereavements and things never working out.
But a bit foot-in-mouth to say something like that in front of a pregnant woman though.