To go on this holiday despite saying repeatedly we cannot afford it?

[hidinginthenightgarden]

My siblings have been saying for years that we should return to our fav childhood holiday destination in about 4 years from now. My older sibling in particular has been very vocal about it and when I said we wouldn't be able to afford it without great sacrifice for the next 5 years, said I was being selfish.
Last time this was discussed, my yearly salary was the same as it would cost for me, DH and my kids to go on this 2 week holiday (10k).
At the time I was working part time, we were getting in loads of debt and our parents were financially bailing us out regularly. We argued about it and I made it clear I wouldn't be able to afford it.
For what it is worth, neither sibling has children so it is more affordable (at least for my elder but I think she expects my Dad to pay a good chunk of the holiday- not that she has asked him about it) for them.
Just before xmas I managed to get full time work and we are now clearing the debt and doing much better. I had an accident in the new year and the insurance company have offered us a good chunk of money. DH has suggested we use it as a stepping stone towards taking the kids to Disney. It would cover about 1/3 of the costs so we would need to save up a fair bit more over the next few years, but without this money, we probably wouldn't be able to do it for alot longer, if at all.
Disney is the same value holiday and very similar to the family holiday my siblings want us to go on. I mentioned to DH that it was going to cause an arguement and he said if he is spending that amount of money, he isn't spending 2 weeks with my controlling and demanding sibling. I agree with him, but the arguement is still likely to happen!!
Are we being unreasonable using this money on just us and our kids? I want to do what is best for my kids but am made to feel like I have "chosen them" and neglected my wider family quite often.

The OP has said that the debt will be clear before they go on holiday. It’s three years away. Also it’s not a good idea to use a large payout to pay off debt.

OP keep paying off your debt as you have been. Ignore the advice on here you have not asked for. In terms of holiday what do you want to do most? I assume holiday only with DH and DC so do that. Also look at the cheaper times of year if you still fancy Florida and it doesn’t need to be stressful or full of people and queues.

Good luck OP

10k?!? I almost spit my coffee.

I'd never ever spend 10k on a holiday. What if you were ill and had an awful time or the weather was horrendous.

Ridiculous, if I don't have the money I don't do it and I don't give a fig what anyone thinks. Family first.

I noticed the £10k have done the theme parks in Orlando and I have to say that £10k is a huge amount of money.

Just did 10 days in Las Vegas and LA over the last holidays and paying for 4 adults (dc all grown up) it cost £4500 + £1000 spending money. We stayed in a 5* hotel and a beautiful LA house and ate out every night.

What planet does your dsis live on? She isn't a child any more and everyone's moved on. You have other priorities (your own dc) and quite right too - that's apart from the nonsense of spending £10k on a holiday. Just say no, it's not happening!

I don't think Disney sounds like a good use of money.

But just tell your sister, sorry the holiday is not happening. I had to do something similar to a friend recently. Sometimes people need to be told clearly that something is not going to happen. Don't get into a lengthy discussion just say you can't see it happening until the kids are grown and then you'll discuss it.

If your siblings want to recreate holidays from the past, 'just the 4 of you', your children will not be welcome. It would be better to do that as a few days away together in the UK, possibly without the children and partners?

For your main family holidays, you are right to expect the holiday should be suitable for your children. Why would you want to spend limited funds on something that you and your children won't enjoy?

Bossy sibling is being totally selfish, and sounds like she can't be bothered to make your children happy too.

As everyone else says, your priorities are different to theirs.

FWIW my DStepM had a similar idea when I was young. She'd had wonderful holidays in a particular part of Malta as a child so we all went for a (rare) foreign holiday. She was very sad as so much had changed. The hotel had fallen into disrepair and nothing was as she remembered it.