What support is out there for people like me? Does it exist?

[Newnamechchchchange]

NC today.
Lone parent. 2 KS2 kids. No support. My dad dead, my mum has dementia, siblings cut me out of the 'inner circle' due to living outside the home city and put formalities in place to that effect (LPA my mum has no recollection of, all put in place before I knew anything about it & had never heard of an LPA to even pre-empt this happening). No cousins, no aunts / uncles.
House a mess due building work that went horribly wrong. Washer dryer recently broke for good. Leaking kitchen roof, water coming in presently at 8 separate points.
Zero hrs contract part time job for less than living wage (best I could find after taking 9yrs out raising my kids, previously worked for a global medical company for a decade on good wages / benefit package, after getting a 1st class science degree from a Russell group university, now feel worthless in the job market).
I am currently undergoing tests to get to root cause of some physical issues, hospital appt tm afternoon (who knew Sunday hospital appointments were a thing), recently had breast cancer ruled out which is one of the few positives of recent times.
To top it all I slept funny last night & have a stiff painful neck today. Me & the kids are cooped up together so I'm trying to act like the constant dripping (can be heard all over the house & they don't want to be away from me) is nothing to worry about. Weve got half the kitchen cleared into the lounge which doesn't help.

Life shouldn't be this hard or difficult. There's not enough waking time to keep on top of everything, it all needs sorting urgently, more bad fortune keeps coming before I've been able to deal with the last blow. I have no one to turn to. Feels like there's no help in these sort of situations for people struggling. AIBU in thinking this? I don't know where to start getting us out of this mess.

No criticism please, but constructive advice or pointers to support avenues I'm unaware of appreciated. Thanks for making it to the end of this post.

It sounds like you need to find why the kitchen is leaking first. The leaks really need to be fixed, otherwise you may get damp and affect the electrics. Suggest asking for help in the property section and Piglet John usually has some good suggestions. Perhaps you could get some roofers round to quote you prices. You probably need to get this sorted, before you buy a new washer dryer. Have you looked at credit unions or credit card to borrow money for repairs.

Have a look for St Vincent de Paul charity in your area. You don't need to be Catholic or even religious. They help with this kind of thing.

Life can be tough at times.

Wrong thread. Sorry - have asked to be deleted.

OP
Do you have House/Building insurance? Could your roof problems be covered by that? Worth giving it a shot.

If you get 5 roofers round to quote (and let them all know you're getting competitive quotes) then you should get a clear idea of what needs to be done. Occasionally things turn out to be cheaper to fix than we fear.

It's worth asking you local council for help, a leaking roof with children in the house is going to become a health issue if it's not dealt with. Try searching Google for your area and "home improvement agency".
More ieas here: www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/grants-low-income/#needtoknow-5

(And sorry you're having such a hard time.)

I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time OP. I have no practical advice but I liked the points notsurethisiswhatiwant made.

Does the DC school have a family support worker? I was struggling last year with different things and I spoke to the family worker at DD’s school and she referred us to the Early Help team within social services, someone came out and gave me practical support and advice. It was really useful.

I'm guessing your kitchen roof is single storey? Is it possible and safe to try and do a temporary fix yourself? Maybe use some Waterproof expanding foam. It's easy to use, inexpensive and effective.
It's not a permanent solution but might stop the leaking for the time being.

If you want you could post a picture of the roof so that people could give further advise.

I hope your hospital appointment goes well.

I'm in the NW, too. Much older than you, one adult child off doing her thing and a house that 'needs work'. No real practical help to offer but wish you good luck and hope you get everything sorted.

Hi OP You are going through a really tough time and that can make everything completely overwhelming then you become like a rabbit staring at headlights unable to move and not knowing which way to turn. I would say focus on the leak first as that is the big problem that needs dealing with immediately.

It just crossed my mind that it might be a good idea to contact the Rowntree Foundation as you may be able to get some money from the Family Fund to help you out. I think they do one off payments to help you out. Google them and see if they can help you

www.familyfund.org.uk/faqs/how-do-we-apply

How are you feeling today @Newnamechchchchange?

Better in some ways. Same in others. We made the laundrette yesterday - WIN - but today it's raining again even though it was forecast dry. My emotions are dependent on the bl**dy weather. I've just left work & feel scared to go home. It's pathetic because no one else is going to sort this for us & I think it's affecting my self respect that I'm not on top of this. I used to be a go getter, now I'm scared of making essential decisions incase they create more issues to sort, because literally nothing seems to go our way. Not purely pessimism, but based on years of awful luck / judgement.

However, positives from the wknd... my kids loved eating in the lounge & catching up on their tv shows (I normally limit screen time but indulged them this weekend as it was so horrid). They didn't see the weekend as monumentally disastrous as I do. My hospital appointment suggests the pain I've been in isn't a long term condition but due to tendon / muscle inflammation which can get better in time.

Thanks so much to many of you who have posted links to possible help sources. Lots I've not heard of. I don't think any fit my situation unfortunately but who knows in the future, good to be aware of them.

My roof... it was bodged in true style so essentially needs replacing. So I'm scared of the large cost if I get this wrong... I won't be able to get it redone. Guarantees on these things seem to be down to the roofer honouring it, and I don't have faith in my ability to judge who is decent & reliable over who just wants my money. Feel like a sitting duck to iffy workmen as it's clear I've been taken advantage of before.

Rambling again. Anything to avoid going home.

Hey, at least the washing is done!

Be brave and call to arrange 5 people to come and quote for the roof today (pick builders with a score of at least 9 on checkatrade, then you can threaten a bad review of they fuck up so they'll have to at least finish the job!). Tell them all you're looking for the best quotes and go with your gut feel too if you don't trust any.

You’ve been in my thoughts. I think if you get some quotes for the roof it may give you a sense that things are moving forward - like you are working towards a solution.

You sound like a lovely person and wonderful mother to your DCs

As pp suggested, get some quotes OP . You may be able to get a government grant or loan to replace the roof. Or perhaps speak to your mortgage company .

One of the main government grants for roof replacement is the Weatherization Assistance Program. This program is run by the Department of Energy and focuses on helping low-income households reduce their heating and cooling costs and improve general health and safety in their homes.
Government Grants for Roof Repair
www.homeadvancement.com › roof

Sorry, not sure my link above is in the UK!

Try the link below:

www.grantsexpert.co.uk/renovationggrant.html

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/moving-and-improving-your-home/help-with-home-improvements/

Can you join a local Facebook group? This is what i use to get recommendations for local, established traders with a reputation to maintain.

Maybe you can find someone trustworthy here.

Lots of other useful local info too.

How are you feeling OP?

I have group on facebook that is solely for residents of my town. It's really useful to put a question eg 'I'm stuck and desperately need someone to quote for some roof work' People there will tag a tradesman in and quite often that person is local and the recommendation is seconded by other people. That way you have a better chance of not being conned. On the same group people will often state that their washing machine has just broken down, does anyone have one they're replacing etc. You'll be surprised at how people will be happy to give something away once they have a newer model. Also try that free site, freecycle. I think when you own a house these things happen at the worst times. If it's not likely that your finances will change in the foreseeable future would you consider selling your home and going into rented accommodation? At least there could be a chance that you would receive some housing benefit towards your rent and the landlord would be responsible for horrendous things like roof repair. I'd also agree with posters that have suggested Vincent de Paul and, should your child have severe disabilities, try the Family Fund ( Joseph Rowntree). They will give grants for items that other agencies are not responsible for, washing machines, tumble driers, holidays etc

OP, whereabouts are you? My DD has insisted on buying a new washing machine which arrives tomorrow and they are taking the old one - small reduction in price. In my view it works perfectly but DD thinks it's old and was insistent even though she's at university 250 miles away .... you'd be very welcome to it.

@Lobsterquadrille2, @Newnamechchchchange is in the NW.