My MIL was at a party at my house while several of my mum friends were also there. She stood nearby while several of us had a conversation. Two of my friends are suffering from PND and not doing so well, we all have new babies as well as a toddler or two, and I had recently come out of nursing my family through the flu while having the flu myself. We were all talking about fatigue and exhaustion at one point. I talked about walking around with a 40 degree temp and not being able to sit down while looking after the children while ill and how I had never comprehended how much Mother’s go through until becoming one and becoming so much more grateful for all my own mother must have gone through. We all joked about how tired we were. MIL interjected into the conversation although no one was speaking to her, and said, “If you are going to be a mother, you have to like it!!!” I told her I was sure we all liked being Mother’s and loved our children, but what we struggled with was the build up of fatigue from not being able to rest or sleep and the hyper-vigilance required to keep kids safe. Most of us don’t have extra help so that’s just the way it is. MIL then said, “You must learn to be selfless!” I did not want to push back to explain that I do think most mothers learn to be selfless and taking about being tired doesn’t mean they aren’t. But thought the better of it and just smiled at her and changed the topic. I really think it was the last thing my PND friend needed to hear though, because she struggles with perfectionism as it is. And it irritated me no end. MIL sleeps in when she wants to, has gone on endless holidays this year, and her oldest child is 35. She herself says she has no recollection of what it was like to have small children. And yet she is interjecting into our conversation and saying we must learn to be selfless.