To ask for a bit of advice regarding our weird neighbours?

[MaeBug]

We moved into our house around 7 months ago. We rent our house and live next door to a family of 4, Mum, Dad, 2 children.

For context:
1st encounter with next door was when a parcel was delivered for them to our house, i was then on mat leave, so was home, happily received the parcel and dropped it round to them later that day when i saw signs of them being in and introduced myself- so far so good.

2nd encounter- another parcel delivered to ours, this time i didn't make it round to deliver it to them and was BF and settling DD when the Mum rang the doorbell, wasn't very quick to the door- baby on the boob, and she rang the doorbell constantly for around 5 minutes in one long riiiiiiiiiuiing until i answered. Annoying but hey ho!

3rd encounter was when they rang the doorbell to let us know they'd spoken to our landlord (who lived here before us and they are friends with) about having gutters cleaned "Hello, i've spoken to Sharon your whispers and looks awkward landlady" to arrange a date for it to go ahead. We decided on a date and i told the Mum that we'd be in to let the gutter cleaning people into our garden for access. Gutter cleaning day came and DD, DH and myself were in our lounge, saw 2 men stroll into our garden through our bolted gate, DH went outside to see what was happening and it transpired that the Dad from next door had taken it upon himself to unbolt our garden gate and let the gutter cleaning man in. DH let them know that we were in and gutter cleaning man was very apologetic and embarrassed that he'd bowled on into our garden without ringing our doorbell 1st, assuming it was all 1 house belonging to the Dad.
(I hope this is making sense!)

4th encounter- our downstairs loo has always behaved a bit strangely, refills slowly after flushing and occasionally gurgles- thought this was the norm. A few weeks ago our landlord text out of the blue asking if we have a toilet blockage- we say no, toilet being normally strange, but nothing unusual.
Fine.
A few days after that the local water board start doing minor work to unblock the shared external drain. Again fine. My DH works for the water board and knew that this was nothing to worry about.
On a chance meeting with the Mum from next door, in a brief conversation, she mentioned the toilet, said she'd been in touch with our landlord about it and in a very patronising way twice instructed me that 'nothing other than toilet paper must be flushed down the toilet' i told her that was fine by us, and that DH works for the water board, so we're well versed in toilet etiquette- haha.

So, this evening at about 11.15pm a friend of our neighbour's rang our doorbell to ask us to let our cat in as he had been meowing in their garden, have heard them outside in their garden, obviously having a bit of a house party. DH answered the door to her as i was asleep in bed. Doorbell woke both me and our DD up. Neighbour's friend clearly drunk.

AIBU to be annoyed? And ask if i should pop round and just ask them, politely, to leave us alone?! I don't want a war with the neighbours, but what i perceive to be their odd/ invasive/ patronising behaviour is making me feel uncomfortable.

Sorry, should add, pop round tomorrow- not middle of the night!! Just laying awake now, having been woken, feeling miffed.

Is the cat inside now?

I wonder why your land lord moved out. Strange one really.

All just a bit odd really

Just be patronising and annoying back - it's great fun.

Well the cat encounter was a bit annoying as it was so late - but judgement does go out the window a bit when people have been drinking and you don't know if the neighbour's friend had taken it entirely upon herself to sort out the 'cat issue' - the cat was obviously annoying them!

Doesn't sound like you have particularly weird neighbours.

You'll sound a bit paranoid if you ask them to 'leave you alone' after a couple of parcel deliveries and a couple of other exchanges which weren't exactly your cup of tea but weren't particularly weird and odd behaviour.

Sounds like because they are friends with your landlord they’ve taken it upon themselves to ‘keep an eye on you’ and have a bit of a superiority complex over renters (or just in general) or are the well meaning busybody type that is always ‘helping’
I wouldn’t go round, I think that would be a bit OTT and I don’t think it will get you anywhere.

i wouldn't engage with them particularly but just be devastatingly nice to them when you do have to deal with them - leave them nothing and they will soon lose interest

The only thing in there that's really weird is the 5 minute ring on the door bell! I'd have been really annoyed with that and told her so.

Coming round re. the cat is slightly off, but of they were drunk maybe didn't realise the time? I think you'd be ok to say 'we go to bed early, could you not call after 10pm' or something.

Everything else is ok, a bit odd maybe, but nothing that you can go round and complain about.

We recently had a blocked drain and the toilet gurgling is definitely a sign of this.

I think they were just overly familiar with the previous owner so they think they can continue that relationship with you.

They sound a bit odd and annoying, but not hugely so.

I think you need to be firmer with them, so for example when she rang the doorbell like that, you need to say something about it.

You’ve just explained several totally normal occurrences.

Maybe you are overthinking things?

Scooby is right, op. And these perfectly normal things have occurred over a seven month period, so it's not as if you're having daily contact with them. They were concerned about your cat too which is a good thing. Have you had neighbours before?

You’ve just explained several totally normal occurrences.

Really? Your neighbour makes arrangements to have maintenance work done on your house; tells you retrospectively and then take it upon themselves to allow them access to your garden?

Because when I rented, my neighbour never did anything like that.

Come off it. It’s NOT normal for your neighbour to call YOUR landlord and arrange to have your gutters cleaned or your toilet fixed?! Or to allow access to your property to other people? I’d have set my stall out there and then op and let her know I did not appreciate her interferences. I wouldn’t knock tomorrow, but next time she oversteps the mark I would very clearly put her in her place.

Definitely don’t go round from my POV as nothing really unacceptable has happened.
Reads to me as though neighbours who were friends with your landlord (who lived there) haven’t adjusted and are being slightly territorial/snobby about you renting.
Can imagine ‘sharon’ asking them to keep an eye on things generally (sensible) and it’s just gone a little awry. Boundaries a bit blurred for them.
Just keep being neighbourly but I’d keep a distance also.
Re your loo I had one which did similar - noises when refilling were horrendous with pipes howling through house). Got to the point where it really couldn’t be used during the night or everyone would be woken. It just needed a new valve somewhere in the flushing mechanism (forgotten name of it) which sorted it completely. Wonder if it is this.

They've probably been advised as you have a newborn, that the blockages in the sewer could be a high amount of unflushables. And have assumed that you've been using wet wipes and chucking them down the loo.

Perhaps check with the water utilities company the history of blockages at your postcode. If there's a lot of history, I'd advice some cctv and possible jetting to see if there are any defects.

The neighbour is clearly off her marbles with ringing the doorbell when there's a newborn - I'd remove the doorbell.

X

Think they come across as a bit territorial and patronising about you renting but as others say they may well have let workmen in for your landlord before and think nothing of it. And when they heard your DH worked for the water board I hop they felt a bit shifty about suggesting ypud ben lobbing wipes etc down it.

Sounds like you have handled it brilliantly and should carry on like that. If they are niggly irritating now a showdown is not likely to make things better, quite the contrary.

The drunk woman asking you to let cat in isnt really their fault. I’d have been incredibly miffed about the doorbell though!

I wouldn't go round specifically but next time your neighbour says she has spoken to your whispers** landlord I'd say "I really appreciate you being so helpful but in future please leave all issues regarding MY house to me and my husband." I rent too, I would hate to have that level of involvement from a neighbour arranging things, she's crossed a boundary from being helpful to being downright interfering.

Thank you for the replies everyone, has made me feel less weird, for feeling weird! Haha! I agree, last night doesn't warrant me knocking on their door today, but i'll definitely be firmer in future :)

Ringing a doorbell for 5 minutes is very rude.

Ringing the doorbell for 5 mins constantly would pee me right off and my face would have shown it, especially with a baby... yanbu OP. I would make sure before bed your cat is in if possible (just to stop them waking you up!) and distance yourself, quick hellos and if possible ignoring the door with parcels (if they ask, you were asleep with baby etc) , they may soon take the hint...... hopefully! Xx

Other than the door bell, I really can't see the issue here, yes psssibly they should speak to you direct and not the landlord, but you don't know what the landlord agreed with them, he may have asked them to let him know if any concerns, and if I'm honest, you don't sound very approachable,

You're even writing about taking in a parcel like it's a big deal. I suspect their side of this would be your unapproachable and hard work. And possibly have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about renting,

Oh I won’t pull on my best snooty pants and go around and politely explain that while you appreciate a good gathering allowing drunk people to roam the streets is terribly uncouth. The wouldn’t want the neighbors gossiping about them now would they (head tilt,smile)....

would