Aibu-Allowing d's to wear knee high boots for school

[Shippers87]

Posting here for opinions as I'm annoyed at the attitude of the teachers at my dd's school.

She is 6 years old and we bought her some black flat boots that sit just under the knee for school on days where it is cold/wet/windy as frankly the Mary Jane style shoes that are normally sold for girls are not suitable for this weather.

School assistant has kept asking my dd where her shoes are and went on to say she can't wear her boots.

It does not say this in the school uniform rules. Nor are they not practical as she is comfier in them than normal school shoes.

So I said next time they ask for my dd to tell the teacher that I let her wear them.

They have now told her that she has to wear her pe pumps inside. Which has made her feel sad.

Can they do this ?

I know there is no legislation saying that UK school children have to wear uniform but I feel this is a bit petty seeing as in this day and age you can wear knee high boots in certain workplaces

I don't pick her up/drop her off due to working full time so am thinking of writing a letter as I am unable to speak to them after school

I think it is fine to encourage an inquiring mind and to want to understand reasons for rules. And potentially consider speaking to the school to ask them to reconsider where the rule is unfair eg if girls can’t wear trousers.

But equally sometimes sometimes children just need to accept “but thems the rules” and that they have to abide by them whether they like it or no.

Otherwise you risk ending up the sad face parent in the local newspaper because there is “no good reason” why your child should be excluded from school for having shaved half their head and dyed the other half shocking pink.

Having pink hair and a half shaven head doesn't affect a child's ability to learn.
I really disagree with accepting rules 'just because'. It would be far better to have sensible clothing policies, designed with comfort and safety in mind and allow kids to express their personalities freely through their make up and hair. Instead schools get their knickers in a twist about dyed hair and will exclude children from education because of it, when they really ought to be concentrating on kids getting to class on time, doing their coursework, not engaging in anti social behaviour.

But @BinaryStar why should a kid not be able to learn because they want hair that's a bit different? Is that seriously the role of our educators? To decide who is and who is not worthy of an education, based on how they outwardly display themselves?

I haven't RTFT but am amused by the notion of a six year old telling its mother what she will and will not 'entertain' as footwear! Get a grip OP and tell her to get on with it, you're not doing her any favours letting her be the boss of you.

Don't all kids wear outdoor shoes outside and pumps inside? Hats the norm where we are. Much comfier for the children and no messy outside shoes indoors!

No , that’s not the “norm” what a pain in the arse having to change shoes every day , they’re not toddlers , this is a 6 year old.
And I’d hardly saying giving a child the freedom to pick a pair of shoes is “letting her be the boss” .. ffs

Personally I’m not bothered whether a six year old is wearing boots or your teenager has half pink half shaved hair. I’m not setting the rules.

But school, the work place and many other scenarios have rules that aren’t necessarily logically consistent or you feel wholly vital to their stated aim. So you have to decide what hills you’re willing to die on because you can’t fight it all, all of the time. Im not suggesting you should be a mindless sheep and accep the status quo all the time (I certainly haven’t) but equally pretending to your kids that authority always has to justify rules to their satisfaction does them no favours in the long run.

I agree to a point, but this footwear nonsense is utterly arbitrary and frankly, shouldn't even be on a teachers radar.

My kids wear boots to school a fair bit in the winter months - I asked the head before I sent them in in them and her reply was "as long as they're sensible I couldn't care less what they're wearing on their feet"

If you feel that the boots you are sending your child to school in comply with that school's uniform policy, then speak to the headteacher so they can clarify one way or the other.

If they clearly do not comply, then either send her in shoes which comply with the uniform policy, or change schools.

With this age-group, school should have spoken to you about the boots after the first time when it became obvious that it wasn’t a one-off due to unforeseen circumstances (lost or broken shoe) or a case of you telling your DD to change into her shoes when she got to school and her not following your instruction.

Has your DD told you exactly what she replied when asked where her shoes are? You might find out when you speak to the headteacher, and it might not be what you want to hear.

DD sometimes wears snow boots to school and I just take her school shoes in a bag. She swaps shoes in the classroom and puts her boots on the peg or I take them home.

Personally, you can make a big thing with the school about boots vs shoes, or you can just pack her school shoes and she can swap out at school. You might not agree but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't have to be a big issue. Clearly your daughter has school shoes anyway. Ultimately your DD might work somewhere (as I did), where my boss asked me not to wear my smart ankle boots but to wear shoes with my uniform. Nothing in the uniform policy and they looked smart, but honestly you don't have to make a huge fuss over every thing. I just wore shoes instead, easily sorted.

On the whole, I think that boots look pretty uncomfortable when you're sat cross-legged on the floor, as lots of primary school children are.

I work in a a school in lots of classes. Lots of the girls who wear boots find them uncomfy when sitting on the carpet and insist on either sitting on a chair unlike the rest of the class or taking them off. It depends on the boots - but if they are allowed to wear them as part of the uniform it leads to lots of this which is a pain.
I have 3 girls who have all worn shoes and managed not to freeze from the cold and wet through primary school.

My DD wears black boots just below the knee, no problems. Stops her getting her feet wet. Meh some people will find anything to moan about.

Both my DD wear boots to school all winter. I would print out the uniform guidelines from the website and take them in to give to the teacher.

Honestly it's up to you as a parent to make the call as long as it fits in with their rules!

At my school children come in wearing wellies/boots when it is raining or colder weather and they change into their normal shoes outside of the classroom.

I agree to a point, but this footwear nonsense is utterly arbitrary and frankly, shouldn't even be on a teachers radar.

If parents followed the rules of the school they chose to send their child to, it wouldn’t have to be on a teacher’s radar.

Yanbu, I dont see the big deal. Dd has previously worn boots to school as have many other students in the school. Most of them actually tend to wear trainers every day. Nothing is ever said to them. I imagine the school has more vital things to be concerned about.
Haven't seen plimsoles been worn since i was in primary school over 20 years ago and that was only in a new classroom!

Boots aren't school shoes.

Just get your daughter some good sturdy shoes and some thick tights or trousers for when it's cold.

My DD is y4, has worn black boots like this to school every winter. Her school has a uniform but is pretty relaxed about it. She walks half a mile into school whatever the weather, plays outside at break in most weather and walks the half mile home again whatever the weather. Like op I feel that the boots are a more practical option. She has shoes as well and on warm and dry days wears those.

The uniform allows boots as long as they are black, lots of girls wear brown ones and as far as I know no one bats an eyelid. The school seems to have better things to do than police the feet of small girls!

I always send my dd in ankle boots in the winter (if I’m honest, they come up higher than the ankle). The school would rather that than kids with wet feet and it’s never been a problem. She’s primary, though, and the local secondary wouldn’t allow it (as far as I know).

But why on Earth is it on their radar at all?? What possible reason is there for this rule? Surely 'comfortable' footwear is subjective so as long as it's black I think they should back the fuck off.

This stuff gets my goat more than almost anything!

@EstrellaDamm

They're interested because the school has a uniform policy which stipulates what footwear is to be worn. What is the point on having a uniform if you're not going to enforce it?

A couple of times my 7 year old has told me they have been told in assembly they can't wear boots to school.
It was pouring down with rain the other day, so I told her she was wearing boots and put her school shoes in her bag. Had to go to the office anyway so asked the secretary. She said that the school handbook says black shoes. It also specifies no trainers, but doesn't specify no boots. To me boots could be considered a type of shoe but tge secretary thought not.
My issue is more the lack of clarity.

• when they changed from footwear being navy or black to just black, they sent a letter home.
• she has worn boots in the winter for the last 3 years without issue. If there has been a uniform change we have not been told.
• as a parent I don't take the word of a 7 year old as being gospel. They can easily get things mixed up and so just telling the children is not reliable. (eg it could be that they have been told heeled boots are not allowed and my daughter has just heard boots)
• secretary didn't know, and was making an assumption based on the info relayed from my 7 year old. She did not actually know, but decided for herself without checking. (the deputy head went through at one point so she could have checked). One of the TAs spoke to me as I was walking out of school about another issue. The boots issue got mentioned and she thought they could wear boots, so even the staff aren't sure. *picture of the staff dressed up for book day the next day - they were all wearing boots.

I agree with a uniform policy, but in this case the policy is unclear I can understand not wanting boots or shoes that are not practical, but as a previous poster has said, girls shoes are not always the most practical for the rain.

I am also imited in the styles I can pick from as my daughter has a wide foot and high arch. Even measuring as a g width in clarks, some h fitting are too small. I don't have the luxury of choice. We pick the pair that has the best fit.

I wouldn't be impressed if a child came in wearing knee length boots into my class . Yabu.

Yes but WHY @YellowFish123 ??

'Because' is a child's answer

Can I ask why @Qwertylass ?