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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think the Dentist is going to tell me off

65 replies

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 14:10

I haven't been to a Dentist for nearly 10 years. I had one in a city I lived in 10 years ago but couldn't find an NHS one here in hometown. TBH I can't say I put a lot of effort into finding one, I am shit scared of dental procedures.

My front teeth are in a mess, I think there is decay starting and I have managed to find an NHS dentist who is taking on.

My appt is tomorrow, and I am so scared they are going to judge me and tell me off for letting them get this bad :(

Tell me your stories about lovely dentists please!

OP posts:

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2019 14:14

Honestly, they will be glad that you’re there OP and they will have seen worse I bet.

My dentist is amazing, so friendly and reassuring, I’m always scared before I go but she always puts me at ease.

Well done for making the appointment, it won’t be as bad as you anticipate

fedup2017 · 14/03/2019 14:18

Best of luck.
I went a few months ago after not going for 10 yrs.... The first appointment was worst ( I cried before during and after). But I did it. You will feel so motherfucking proud about yourself afterwards.
I need 6 (!) Fillings. I've been in for first 2 and I've got the rest booked for next few weeks.....I e also seen a hygienist which I didn't really enjoy. But I did it! Go me!

Damntheman · 14/03/2019 14:18

Aw you're going to be fine! My dentist (when I was in the UK) was SO lovely and kind and not judgemental at all. They'll just be happy you came and will do their best to sort out your teeth. Don't worry! It's going to be ok :)

10IAR · 14/03/2019 14:22

OP, DP was worried about the same thing.

Long story short he had an horrific gum infection while on tour in the army and it fucked his teeth right up. Fear of the dentist meant he put it off for years, but when he eventually went the dentist was lovely, really kind and not judgemental at all.

StarEclipse · 14/03/2019 14:24

I hadn't been to the dentist for about 7 years. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the dentist and he could see I'd not been in a while.

I had a falling apart wisdom tooth, a cracked molar and 3 fillings needed.

The dentist was lovely, after going back every few weeks over several months (going back each time took a lot of mental preperation on my end) he took out the wisdom tooth, did a root canal, fitted a crown and did the fillings. At the end he cleaned my teeth thoroughly to remove any plaque and they are so, so, so much better now for it all his hard work.

When you arrive, tell them how nervous you are. A good dentist will be sympathetic to you, good luck OP!

Orangecake123 · 14/03/2019 14:25

I have booked my first appointment also in 10 years time for next week on friday.It took me 4 years just to build up to it, but I can't put it off any longer.

My one has photos of his before and afters. I don't think you will be the worst.

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/03/2019 14:26

Never met a dentist who was judgemental to my face since I stopped using the school dentist. They've all been very matter of fact. Try and get to the hygienist too, they have lots of good advice and its another opportunity to go and get used to being in a dentist.

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 14:26

I hope not! My DP went to them last week (different dentist though) and he said "You like fizzy drinks dont you" and didnt engage in any other conversation and seemed a bit pissed off apparently!

OP posts:

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 14:27

I must admit, I am looking forward to getting some kind of smile back!

OP posts:

babysharkah · 14/03/2019 14:28

A good dentist will never tell you off, they'll just be glad you turned up!

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 14:31

Feel a bit better now, thank you!

OP posts:

poppet31 · 14/03/2019 14:34

I was you about 5 years ago OP. Hasn't been to the dentist in years due to a phobia. My teeth were a complete state. Had to get 3 out as the holes were bigger than the tooth! But no judgement at all from the dentist and I'm so glad I got them sorted out. However bad your teeth are, they will have seen much much worse. Good luck!

LellowYedbetter · 14/03/2019 14:35

I got told off when I went. I only go when there’s a problem cos it’s too big vulva expensive

Happynow001 · 14/03/2019 14:37

Might tell you off a bit but you'll be so glad you did it once your teeth are all lovely (and health) again. Just make sure you see her/him - and your hygienist - regularly afterwards. All my dentists have been absolutely lovely. Mine know I'm a nervous patient and treat me according!

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 14:38

Too big vulva

I want to start going regularly because my biggest fear is losing my teeth. I did not look after them as a child and I am paying for it now.

Not getting any pain but worried

OP posts:

MuddyMoose · 14/03/2019 14:38

I haven't had a dentist for years. Had to book an emergency appointment recently for a filling & I was mostly anxious about the telling off I'd get about the poor condition my teeth are in. I wasn't. The dentist was absolutely lovely as was her assistant & just got on with the job that needed doing. You'll be fine

BlueMerchant · 14/03/2019 14:38

They'll have seen a lot worse. I have recently started going as I had toothache on and off for a year and had decided developed a huge absess. It was basically a case of having to go to get treatment. Before this I hadn't been for 19 years and he didn't recoil in horror at my plaque! I'd worked myself up into a state but felt great after going.
Currently waiting to get appointment to go back. My absess has returned!

Asta19 · 14/03/2019 14:39

I'm going to be honest. My experience has been different. I've been to three different dentists in the past 2 years, all claimed to be "good with nervous patients" and they have all been judgmental and horrible! The last one shouted at me! I am now resorting to asking to be referred to the dental hospital by my GP as I can't take it any more. Sorry OP, I know it's not a positive story but it seems other people have been much luckier than me. So chances are yours will be fine too.

Bluebears14973 · 14/03/2019 14:43

This is the perfect thread. I went to the dentist just before I turned 18 after not going for 5 years and I needed 13 fillings!!! I was terrified and my dentist let another lady dentist carry out procedure who was absolutely wonderful. I couldn’t have been happier under her care. I went every week for about 6 weeks to get it at all sorted. About 2 needles every time sometimes even 3. I vowed to go back every 6 weeks after...

Here I am, 5 years later, haven’t been back since, terrified to go back, also now I had a cracked back tooth which kills to chew on, get the sweats if I do accidentally. Just know that is going to need serious work. Just scared of the how much it is going to cost, the needles, the pain, etc.

OhDiddums · 14/03/2019 14:48

I was shitting a brick a couple of years ago. I knew I needed to go to the dentists but put it off until one of my teeth broke. Honestly although my teeth are terrible I was met with no judgement. I regularly go to the hygienist and admittedly put off the dentist. Saw him after 2 years and had to have one filling which wasn't that bad. Treatment is never as bad as we build it up to be. Good luck and let us know how you get on. 😊

fascicle · 14/03/2019 14:55

They will have experienced lots of other patients who feel like you do and haven't been for a long time. And without teeth to fix, they'd be out of a job. There are a couple of times where I thought a tooth was decaying and it turned out there wasn't a problem, so wait and see what they say.

literategiraffe · 14/03/2019 15:01

Don't worry! They'll just be happy you've gone! If you're anxious about visiting the dentist, tell them before your appointment, let reception know the day before or something.

I didn't go to the dentist for 12 years (!)
I was so terrified and when I eventually got brave enough to make the appointment the receptionist asked me how long since my last visit to the dentist. When I admitted it was more than a decade prior she asked why (in a very nice way) and I explained my terror and she made a point of booking me in with a dentist who was known in the practice as being super nice. The dentist was amazing and actually started the appointment asking me what exactly worried me and how could he avoid making me overly anxious!

Babdoc · 14/03/2019 15:07

OP, you’re projecting your fears onto the dentist and writing a speech for them before you’ve even met them!
I used to anaesthetise severe dental phobics who hadn’t been to a dentist for thirty years in some cases. Many of them had foul smelling abscesses, advanced gum disease, and were hysterical with terror. Some needed complete dental clearances (all teeth removed), others over six hours of restorative dentistry done in sessions. All of those dentists I worked with were hugely supportive of the patients. One even drove to a patient’s home up in the hills several times to gradually accustom him to being examined in a familiar setting before bringing him down to the hospital.
Whatever you think your mouth is like, your dentist will have seen far far worse, and will not be rude to you.
You are their patient, and they are professional- you’re not a small child being shouted at by daddy.
Please don’t worry. It will be fine. No dentist wants to be hauled before the GDC for upsetting patients! And they’re well used to a large percentage of their patients being dental phobics.

SuddenlyISee · 14/03/2019 15:10

I was the same as you OP. Before last year I hadn't been to the dentist since before I turned 18 (I'm in my 30s). My teeth were a mess and I thought I was going to get a real telling off. As it happens, it was all just cosmetic (didn't need any fillings at all surprisingly) and after just a couple of hygienist appointments they were as good as new. I now have regular check ups and hygienist appointments and I love my teeth! It's scary but you can do it and it will be so worth it!

DontCallMeCharlotte · 14/03/2019 15:11

I have terrible teeth problems for medical reasons (and, ahem, smoking) and, without exception, every dentist I've seen has just been lovely. I think they are a special breed of very kind and tolerant people. You'll be fine OP

Cheesy

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