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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think the Dentist is going to tell me off

65 replies

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 14:10

I haven't been to a Dentist for nearly 10 years. I had one in a city I lived in 10 years ago but couldn't find an NHS one here in hometown. TBH I can't say I put a lot of effort into finding one, I am shit scared of dental procedures.

My front teeth are in a mess, I think there is decay starting and I have managed to find an NHS dentist who is taking on.

My appt is tomorrow, and I am so scared they are going to judge me and tell me off for letting them get this bad :(

Tell me your stories about lovely dentists please!

OP posts:

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 14/03/2019 15:15

Well done for being brave and looking after yourself.

My parents neglected my dental hygiene when I was a child, and I did the same as a teen/young adult (I don't now but you can't get those years back). Unsurprisingly I have fillings in pretty much tooth. No dentist has ever judged me. I'm a nervous patient and not good with pain, and knowing this they're happy to give anaesthetic for minor procedures where most people do without.

ilovepixie · 14/03/2019 15:16

I went to the dentist 2 years ago for the first time in 15 years. My teeth were a mess and I needed loads done. It was fine, a lot better than I expected. Now I go every 6 months without a problem

BloodyDisgrace · 14/03/2019 15:16

Sorry I can't tell you some nice dentists stories as I haven't been ever since aged 16 when they put some sanitising thing on my teeth and that was that, but please - PLEASE - don't allow anyone to "tell you off". They have to be polite, professional and caring - whether you pay them or not.

If you are worried they are going to be nasty, then think of what to say back. Like, dunno, "I don't like to be spoken to in this manner" or "I didn't come here to be judged, but have the teeth fixed" or "have you heard of this one: some people have no money for dentists?"

Good luck, hope you'll have a nice dentist who will sort the problem out and put you at ease.

ketchupormayo · 14/03/2019 15:23

Im a dental nurse and husband is a dentist. They will 100% not tell you off. We see pts who haven't been to the dentist in over 40 years. There's no judgment, I always say well done for coming in because usually the person has a massive dental phobia. And however bad your teeth are we've seen 100% worse. Nothing shocks us and everyone always thinks they've got the worst teeth x

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 14/03/2019 15:24

There are a couple of times where I thought a tooth was decaying and it turned out there wasn't a problem

I am praying this is the case! Last time I went I was convinced my lower incisor was decaying, turns out it was stained and it came up like a new pin (as the dentist said!). My front ones though, I can feel that some parts are raised, almost as if enamel has scraped off and its discoloured

You know what the crazy thing is? about 15 years ago I was a Dental nurse for 2 years lol!

OP posts:

PersianStar · 14/03/2019 15:33

I am absolutely terrified of dentists. Didn’t go from the age of 21 till 33. Finally plucked up the courage and found an amazing lady who really helped. She let me just cry for the first 10 minutes before she even asked to look at them. In the end I needed 2 out and 8 fillings. Never felt so mortified in my life!
I had the treatments over 6 months to break it up and the last one was 6 months ago. I was in tears when I left after the last one just from shear relief and pride that I’d done it.
Once you get over the first appointment it’ll be fine and you will feel so much better for it. It was a constant worry in the back of my mind that one day all my teeth were going to fall out.

wishful2012 · 14/03/2019 15:45

Husband has just been after 20 years and the dentist never said anything and it's nothing like he remembered. Good luck

Triskaidekaphilia · 14/03/2019 16:37

I was scared the dentist would be mean about me not seeking help for my toothache until a quarter of it broke off. But she was just focused on fixing the tooth tbh. She lectured me about drinking fizzy drinks (had a can of coke zero most days at the time) because of the acid wear though.

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 15/03/2019 08:17

Well I'm at the dentist (sitting in car outside) god I feel sick with nerves!! I'm estimating 6 fillings lol

OP posts:

Governoress86 · 15/03/2019 08:31

I hate the dentist! I last went to the dentist in 2017 and it wasn't the best experience as I had to have a tooth out. She was not the best dentist and was cold and did not reassure me.

Last year I took my DD to the dentist for a check up and saw a new dentist at the same practice and she was lovely so I decided to try her and my god the difference. I feel relaxed when I see her, and I have managed to have 2 fillings and a bit of a clean.

I have still got a load of work to have done but I'm feeling calmer about having it done. I am having 3 filings done next time I go.

You just need to find an understanding dentist who you feel comfortable with.

Good luck

Difranco123 · 15/03/2019 08:34

Thank you for this thread OP. I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and haven’t been for ten years, I’m terrified! Reading all the replies to you have been very reassuring. Well done for getting yourself there, good luck!

SamStephens · 15/03/2019 08:41

A good dentist will not make you feel judged. I used to avoid them because of the judgment fear factor since they’re so expensive.

Last time turned out I had an infected and impacted wisdom tooth (after being told for 10years I was blessed with no wisdom teeth!) which ended in sepsis and a stillborn at nearly 20 weeks - a day after I booked the oral surgeon to extract it - the hospital were so good about it in the end and did an extraction free of charge due to the circumstances.

I’ll forgo my fear of judgment from here on in. They’re professionals and it’s a small margin that you’ll end up with an openly judgemental dick (who I’d report in that case..)

JuniperGinYay · 15/03/2019 08:49

I went for the first time in 10 yrs and I needed one filling and a clean, the main remarks were they were surprised how clean they were with the absence. I was having panic attacks at night over them, dreams of them falling out and on the floor with tiny pains. I honestly thought I need every tooth doing.

It was lucky I did go as I broke a tooth 3 months later and I was able to go and have it sorted without leaving to go bad.

maddening · 15/03/2019 08:55

Live dental thread - this is a first 😁😁😁 hope it goes OK op x

Gazelda · 15/03/2019 09:15

In sure it'll go ok today. And you'll feel absolute relief once it's over. Make the next appointment while your there.

CloserIAm2Fine · 15/03/2019 09:17

I was you a couple of years ago, hadn’t been for almost a decade and kept putting it off even more because it was so long since I’d been!

Was lucky enough to find an NHS dentist and he’s lovely, and I was shocked that I didn’t even need any fillings!

FlippinNora1 · 15/03/2019 09:22

I hope it went well OP. I’m another one who really needs to go to the dentist. Hoping your experience was positive and you feel much better for going x

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 15/03/2019 09:52

Well everyone, 4 fillings and a scale and polish required! She is also keeping an eye on a few with very small decay.

She was lovely, she sat with me and discussed my fear and embarassment. Talked me through what I was going to have done, showed me how to brush my teeth better. I felt great leaving and dare I say it, I am looking forward to getting the work done!

Especially the decay in my front tooth. 2 appts, 4th and 11th April so plenty of time to prepare myself!

OP posts:

Meagain19 · 15/03/2019 09:55

It might not be that bad. I went recently for the first time in 7 years due to wisdom impaction pain and I didn't need any fillings just a deep clean.
I was VERY nervous too, I hate going!

Good luck

BlackPrism · 15/03/2019 09:56

Well done OP!

Meagain19 · 15/03/2019 09:56

Oh I just saw lol

Buggins1984 · 15/03/2019 10:03

I'm a dental nurse and trust me we don't judge you, everyone has things going on in their lives and we understand that. Most of the time things are never as bad with your teeth as you actually believe they are. You just need to get a really nice dentist who you trust and you will be fine

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/03/2019 10:03

Well done, looks like you found a good dentist.

Original poster

TooManyBiscuitsNotEnoughTea · 15/03/2019 10:07

Yes I am very pleased. The real test is the fillings though, eek!

OP posts:

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 15/03/2019 11:45

I'm worried if I ever see a dentist again they'll need to remove my entire mouth! Been here almost 3 years and still no chance of seeing a dentist, on so many waiting lists. I just know I'm going to get old off if ever I get on a list, I really struggle to brush. Funnily enough I never had any fear, or very little, when I could access a dentist regularly but now it keeps me awake. My jaw aches a lot and the longer it gets the worse my worry is! My advice is get a checkup before moving long distance, you may land in a place with no dentist room!

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