To ask if child can leave school early every day

[Max12]

Name changed as will be outing as lots know my position.

Year 5 child was bullied to a point I have changed him to a different school. Previous school did not act on many instances which led to this.

Reception child has settled well and is happy at this school and couldn't change anyway as school son changed to is for juniors only.

So, two school runs. At time head teacher told me they would do whatever it took to support us with all of this. Traffic is a nightmare in the afternoon once kids are out of primary, but if I left the primary school 5 minutes early I can collect both within timeframe. Given these children literally spend the last five minutes of the day getting coats on and traipsing across the school to the gate I have requested my youngest meet me at reception five minutes early so we can jump in the car and go. If we do this we are on time to collect older child, if not, due to traffic we are fifteen minutes late.

Primary school say they are not allowed due to education authority guidelines. I have accepted this, but AIBU to challenge it? I know it's an unusual request, but given their lack of action over bullying caused this problem in the first place I feel a bit irritated.

I think the arrangement you propose could end up being worse for your older child's anxiety because it's likely to break down quite often. Every time there is a cover teacher, special assembly etc the arrangement is likely to break down, the younger one will be late and the older one will be anxious.

It is going to be far easier to develop coping strategies for the older one to have a predictable 15 minute wait. I am sure he will be able to do it with reassurance and regularity.

A lot of the year 5 children in my school leave on their own, if its only 5 minutes could your older child do this? by the time he had chatted and walked out of school you'd be there anyway and it might be less worrying for him than waiting round the office where all he really has to occupy him is wondering where you are.

The school absolutely can agree to let your younger one out early though, I have had a few for different reasons over the years. They get their coats and go straight to the office whilst I'm trying to get coats on/find water bottles etc for the rest of the class. Its actually no more effort than sorting out after school club and childminders (most of ours collect several children and I struggle to remember which of those children they have on which days)

For your Yr5, it sounds a very similar situation to my year 5, things are much better at her new school though, I hope they are for him too.

I also echo the mobile phone idea- one with location sharing on it so that your child can look at it and see where you are while he waits.

To be honest given that he has had problems with being bullied, I wouldn't do something that would make him stand out from his friends by getting him to leave early every day. Do they have an after-school club that he could go into for half an hour so that you can go to the nursery first then collect him afterwards? If he knows that is the arrangement, rather than anxiously waiting for you to be possibly late or not, then he might settle more and actually enjoy the brief stint there?

Totally unreasonable! I have a 12yr old. In secondary school. I have a 10yr old. Junior school. 35mins between morning drop off. And afternoon pick up. Eldest waits in the car. With his mobile. With me. And their 6month old baby sister. Husband works. If either does a after school club. The other waits. And me. And the baby. Our 10 yr old has health issues. But I've never asked for him to leave early etc. Schools school. X

Also don't think it would be very fair on your reception child.

All the children who get busses at my dcs school leave 5 mins earlier every day than the rest of the kids. I don't thi k it's unreasonable.

I do not know if it is unreasonable or not, but I am very surprised re. people saying that losing 5min each day is a major problem!

It's easier said than done to ensure a reception class child is reliably ready to be picked up precisely 5 minutes early every day. Even if made, I suspect that the arrangement would either be breaking down on a regular basis, or your reception age child would have to be out of the classroom and waiting for you considerably in advance of the five minutes you need - and you would need to sign them out early, and someone would need to keep an eye on them while waiting, ensure they have got themselves fully ready (all letters handed over, bags packed, beaker retrieved, verbal messages passed on, etc), and hand them over to you, etc, etc. All for five minutes, at a time when it is already fairly chaotic, as everyone else is getting ready to go, too.

Well 5 minutes over the course of a 190 days school year works works out at as about 16 hours.

And it's not the 5 minutes of packing up time OP's DC will miss, but 16 hours of the actual teaching time proceeding it.

If I deliberately took my kids out for two days of term time I'd be fined...