DH doesn't trust my gay friend?!?!

[ApplePieIsAmazing]

I don't have many friends due to work but one of my friends is a guy around my age who is very much gay.

I invited him around on my day off and DH got pissy because he wasn't home and he says he doesn't trust him!

AIBU to keep this friend? He's really nice, and he's definitely gay, I've met his boyfriend.

On a different note, OPs DH doesn't know her friend is gay. It's not obvious to tell if someone is gay just by looking at them. Op could've just said oh he's gay, to brush off the matter. Boils down to trust really I guess on that front.

@Elloduckie it matters not if the man is gay or not! So are you saying OP can not speak with, allow to visit, have a friendship with a heterosexual or bisexual man? Why not? Who is it that can't be trusted? OP. The man, who?

You say it's cultural perhaps, what culture are you, out of interest? Also were you born in 1920?

The guy being gay is a red herring. If your OH is going to have a fling then that's not related to when they do or don't have a mate over for coffee. Most normal people have friends of both sexes, and everyone should have the right to invite a friend into their own home. Justifying a controlling attitude is bonkers.

Just that things that could be never, ever happen sometimes do, inexplicably...maybe we hats what her H is suspicious of.

Well, lots of things COULD happen. That's not the point. The point is they won't happen because I trust my partner not to do them, not because by CONSTANT VIGILANCE I make them impossible.

My DH could fuck a female "friend" or colleague he brings to our home. He could fuck someone if I don't ever "let" him do that. But the causative factor will be his choices and not what I "allow". What a miserable and exhausting way it is to live, in both directions, having to control who your partner sees and having them control who you see. No fucking thanks.

I would be more worried about what this means for your dh’s behaviour if he invites somebody to your house or if he is invited to somebody else’s house.

And it goes without saying that he is in the wrong about this situation as others have said.

This is about trust. Your DH doesn't trust you. Tell him straight that he needs to get over it because that lack of trust is a threat to your marriage.

On a different note, OPs DH doesn't know her friend is gay. It's not obvious to tell if someone is gay just by looking at them

If her DH trusted her, it wouldn't matter whether he was straight, gay, bisexual or identified as a rainbow unicorn from Mars, surely?

"On a different note, OPs DH doesn't know her friend is gay. It's not obvious to tell if someone is gay just by looking at them"

I've read the full thread and nowhere does OP say that her DH doesn't know the friend is gay.

Just ASKED DH, he wouldn't care if I had a mate over gay or otherwise. I'd mention it once he got home as we discuss our day. I wouldn't go out of my way to declare it. I'd be utterly pissed if DH implied couldn't be trusted around a man unsupervised without his penis or tongue slipping in to me