Friends step dad trying it on with me ...aibu here?

[sammypre]

I'm early 30s and he is 62.
He is starting to really creep me out.
We were at a wedding on Sunday and I was sat at the table with him,it was really uncomfortable.
He started by saying "let's get a photo in that photo booth,things I would do to you in there"
Then telling me he wanted me to dance so he could watch me.
I ended up leaving early and going to my hotel room.
Since then he's been messaging me on Facebook asking how I am etc and he loved what I was wearing.
Aibu to block him here?
I feel so uncomfortable and he is creeping me out.
I'm more into women than men anyway,not that I would go anywhere near him.
He is meant to be at a party with me and my friend (with his wife,who is my friends mum) on Friday and I don't want to go.
How do I handle this?

I've been in this situation with a friend's DF. He was in my house because he'd asked to stay to participate in an event nearby the next day. He spent several hours trying to persuade me to sleep with him. I blocked him as he left my house the next day and I have never spoken to him since. I didn't tell my friend until years later she asked me about it. She was very upset and I wish she hadn't asked.

I have no time whatsoever for disgusting men like these. Tell him to fuck off and block him and deal with any fallout when it happens. You so not have to put up with behavior like this

Tell your friend. I honestly don't see why you wouldn't.
Tell him to fuck off, and block him.

Why can't you tell your friend? Men like this rely on the fact that you won't want to 'rock the boat' by telling his family. That is not your problem. Tell your friend, show her the messages! What if he's been doing it to her too? What if outing him could prevent further hassling to other women? Definitely tell him you're checking with the police using Claires Law. That should shit him up a bit. Dirty old perve.

You can only use Claire's Law if the person is your partner

I have an uncle like this and he used to say pervy things. I have tolerated it for years and every single time he says something pervy I say, loudly 'you're being disgusting and sexist, do not speak to me like that' He has calmed down. It's vile and I would just keep on saying, in front of everyone as its not you that should be made to feel uncomfortable or ashamed, 'you're being disgusting and sexist, do not speak to me like that'

Send him a text along the lines of the pp's. Then block him- I bet he won't come anywhere near you at the party.

Use this as a (horrible) lesson in how to stand up to this sort of thing- you will feel empowered!

Send back:

“Is this a fucking joke? Don’t message me again. I mean it.”

Text the following

"I thought i had made myself clear, but obviously not. I am NOT interested in having anything to do with you other than you being my friends dad. Do NOT contact me again or make any further inappropriate comments to me or I will have no option but to tell your wife and my friend. I am keeping these messages as a record."

Then forget about him.

Stand up for yourself.

Throw it back at him next time. Tell him he's turning into a dirty old man and the thought of being with him makes your skin crawl. Tell him to piss off and stop bothering you. Literally. He's not being respectful in how he acts towards you, be blunt back, then block him. If he comes up to you at social events say, really loudly, so everyone hears, "I've told you to stop bothering me" and if he tries to make out he's just been joking tell him loudly that you don't find it funny and you want leaving alone.

This dirty bastard is banking on you feeling like you can't tell your friend!!

Screenshot his message, reply "You are completely inappropriate, have some fucking respect for your wife even if you have done for yourself you dirty old creep"

Block and send both messages to your friend

Tell him you're into women, that's usually enough to put someone off. Otherwise block him.

IME it just makes them curious or turns them on, or they see it as a challenge. And besides, it's not his business. The OP is turning him down because he's a revolting perv.

Just block him OP, but keep the messages. He is revolting - this is all on him, not you. Do not feel guilty about any action you need to take to feel safe. He is the one causing trouble.

Do not avoid going to the party - you are entitled to go. Why should you moderate your behaviour to suit him.
As PPs have said you need to tell him to back off and threaten to tell his family if he persists.

And I wouldn’t tell him you’re more into girls. Why should you? You don’t need a reason to tell him to fuck off. His disgusting, predatory, inappropriate and disrespectful behaviour are reason enough.

You shouldn’t threaten to tell his wife and daughter.

You SHOULD tell them. Show them the messages. His wife has the right to know what sort of creep she’s living with and your friend has the right to know he’s probably thinking the same about her.

Get it out in the light.

If being polite yet firm doesn't work then try 'fuck off grandad.'

Gross what a creep

Where do these men get their fucking nerve?
Why the hell would he think he’s so irresistible to you that you would overlook the fact that he’s married to your friend’s mum and is 62? Where does this bizarre, misplaced confidence come from? I find it fascinating. Even if I wasn’t happily married, I wouldn’t hit on my stepdaughter’s friends who are half my age because I have a fucking clue that they can do better than me!

I was polite to you on Sunday out of respect to friend and her mum only because you are friends step father.
You seem to have construed that politeness somehow means I find you attractive.
I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to humiliate you and upset friend and her mother.
Just to be clear I am not in any way attracted to you, your attention is unwanted and creepy. I consider this harassment so I am informing you that if you do not leave me alone I will tell friend and mum and send her screenshots of your messages. Do not contact me again.
And block

This by TheViceOfReason is very clear:

"I thought i had made myself clear, but obviously not. I am NOT interested in having anything to do with you other than you being my friends dad. Do NOT contact me again or make any further inappropriate comments to me or I will have no option but to tell your wife and my friend. I am keeping these messages as a record."

Don't be tempted to provide anything remotely like a justification. The only message he should hear is "keep away from me".

Tell your friend.

"Hi friend, super awks, but Steve was harassing me all day at the wedding, telling me wanted to "do things" to me in the photo booth and other utterly minging behaviour which is why I left the wedding. I hoped that he was just pissed, but now he's harassing me on social media as well. Obviously, I have ignored and blocked, and I've resisted the urge to screenshot and post it all on FB out of my love for you, but seriously, he needs to back off. Is he going to be at the party on Friday? Can you please have a word with him if so, because I'm not going to be polite again if he carries on. Sammy x"

I can't where on earth anyone would say YABU.
Block the dirty sick fucker. Also I wouldn't tell him you're gay. He'd probably get off on that.
Of course in normal circumstances. Theres nothing wrong or with finding a person attractive. How do. we think. Couples meet. However this is far from normal circumstances its your friends step dad and He's a creep

DON'T threaten the old perv, because then you're entering into a "relationship" with him, and acting as though there can be a deal of secrecy between you. It sets a precedent.

Just ignore, block, and tell your friend.

If he starts up again at the party on Friday, don't respond to him at all, but go straight to his wife and tell her. Not in a breathless, distraught way, but in a practical way that reduces him to a pathetic drunk old man "Hi - I think Steve has had too much to drink - he just said some really blatantly inappropriate things to me, and I don't want to rise to the bait - could you possibly come and help him?"

Also I wouldn't tell him you're gay. He'd probably get off on that. This a million times over. He'd probably read it as a come-on.

Absolutely don't tell him you are more interested in women, it diverts from his behaviour and implies (to him maybe ) that he would stand a chance if your preference was men.

Focus on the fact that it's his behaviour that is abhorrent and nothing else.

Why do men behave like this?

Possibly because women have been trained to accept it.

Don't respond, even to tell him to fuck off; it's what he wants
and he'd have a real wankfest if he knows you're gay

Stop the secrecy
Screenshot and show your friend, so you can discuss together what to do
She might want to forward it to her mum - her choice