Yet another petty thread.

[Lalapaluzza]

DP and I had a row so before I left the house I stripped the sheets off the bed so he would have to make it before he could get into it and then I drove through a toll I didn't have to to add it to his account.

So lay it on me guys. Once again let's talk about the latest petty things you've done.

I also welcome criticism of my relationship and commentary on how I couldn't possibly love DP as I treated him so terribly.

Put his phone at the furthest away point of the bedroom so he'd have to get out of bed to look for it to turn off the alarm that he didn't actually need on for 6am.

@ElizabethMountbatten You are a legend!!

Day after row. Made myself a really delicious supper, ate it and cleared everything away before he got back from work. He could smell it, but he couldn't find it. quietly polishes nails

Used the petrol until it was 1 mile to empty.

Switched off alarm so he was late for work.

You took a photo of a skid marked toilet

We are not worthy ElizabethMountbatten! Bows

Bought myself a delightful snack selection. Ate and then hid the leftovers so I didn't have to share. Had to scarf them down quietly the next day though cos we'd made up

My husband likes the scotch egg ball things from M&S. He was being an absolute dick about something so for dinner I cooked two with chips. I fashioned his dinner into basically a cock and balls with some mayo for extra jizzy authenticity. He didn’t get it, probably just thought it was an odd meal. I however was very amused.

Damn it. DP just checkmated me and text to say he was going to the cinema. Now I'll have to put the sheets on or stay out later....

I delete stuff he has recorded....but not whole series.

and I delete it from deleted too, I am nothing if not thorough.

Synchronise putting the dishwasher and washing machine on just as I leave for my Nightshift! I got away with it for a few weeks until he started putting them both on again in perfect timing for when I arrived home

Fuck me ElizabethMountbatten you're my hero

@ElizabethMountbatten

This is the best thread I’ve ever read. I’ve read it all out loud to dh. He is now very scared.

@kittyvoncatsworth I'm not sure, he probably felt amazing when he realised he didn't have to be up and got back into the warm bed to go back to sleep.I know i would

Elizabeth I have often wanted to do this, but keep forgetting and don't know how to do the movie thing. I was going to make an album then threaten to share it on fb......

Anyway. Dh goes to bed early on a sunday to 'sleep' for work monday morning. The early night was getting earlier and earlier until it was 4pm so I set reminders for random stuff on the upstairs skybox for every 15 minutes or so.

We also have a deal that if I do a full sunday roast he does the ironing on a sunday. On his weeks to iron I chuck everything in the ironing pile, tops, jeans, kids uniform, tshirts etc.

On my weeks I just iron the kids uniforms and a few of my tops. I hide the rest in the bedding cupboard and shove it on his pile the week after.

I also make sure I have 2 cold beers hidden in the veg drawer if we are having beers and I have forgotten to put them in the fridge early enough and there are a couple of cold ones left.

My DH is a creature of habit. He likes to park in the same spaces, go to the same petrol stations and buy exactly what he has brought before. He also doesn't like to waste money and steers away from the finer things in life.

One day the jug broke and he was being a twat to me. So I went and brought a new jug. I could have brought one the same as we have had previously but instead I brought a fancy one where you can change the temp by pushing different buttons. The jug stays on the setting that was last selected and of course he's determined the best setting.

Then it's a quite simple act of petty revenge. I just boil the jug and change the setting and wait for the sigh of frustration as it's not on the setting he wants!

Very petty I know!

These petty threads always reveal at least one person you hope never to meet in real life, on the first one I remember reading there were two

However, in this instance @ElizabethMountbatten is a justly usernamed QUEEN 🔥👑

OP can you not pretend to fall asleep on the sofa just to see if he makes it? Set the scene to make it realistic. Half drunk cup of tea, tissues, blanket and empty chocolate wrapper 😂😂😂 This thread is hilarious and I'm learning from each one 🤫

@ElizabethMountbatten you are a hero.

@ElizabethMountbatten I bow to you also and seek your guidance on this sheets matter

Ladies I bow down to your awesomeness. Especially you ElizabethMountbatten

I ate cake for breakfast this morning just so there was none left for DH he did deserve it though.