To be raging with nursery and make a complaint? 😡

[Brightburn]

I may be over reacting and I know that accidents happen but AIBU to be fuming with nursery?

DH has just picked DD (2) up from nursery where he has been told that her finger got trapped in the gap between the door and it's hinges as it's shut 🤢 It was stuck and another parent had to help get her finger out. This happened as a member of staff let a child out to see their parent.

I'm so cross because there's safety equipment available to prevent this sort of thing from happening. I assumed they had it and have never noticed them not having it otherwise I would have said something.

My DH is white as a ghost because he has seen this accident happen before, only the child's finger was cut off. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if this had happened to DD.

I want to make a formal complaint so that nursery HAVE to take action to prevent this happening again and hopefully invest in hinge protectors. DH doesn't want to make a formal complaint as he doesn't want to spoil our relationship with the nursery. He thinks we should suggest to nursery they get hinge protectors instead rather than make a complaint.

AIBU?

It should have been noted in their accident book and their procedures should automatically deal with it. They should review their risk assessment of the door in light of the incident and make sure it’s dealt with.

How is her finger?

I think I'd feel exactly the same as you at the moment. I'm glad your DD is ok, it must have been horrible, and I can totally see what you're so angry about.

I also agree with your DH that suggesting it firstly is the best idea, and ask to see the incident report (your DH should have been asked to sign it).

If they comply, then great, it won't happen again and you've kept a good relationship. If they don't, then make a formal complaint and take it further.

I'm honestly not criticising the way you feel, I totally get it. My advice comes from experience that sometimes the tactful way is the best first way.

What’s the damage? Has she seen a doctor? Your poor DD

I think talking to the nursery manager about safet proofing the doors would be my approach. I did similar when DS was pushed out of the nursery door twice (separate days) onto concrete and smashed his face up each time. I said I was unhappy with it and wanted to know what they were doing to prevent it happening again and now they have a soft ramp fitted outside all their doors.
It may be that it's the first time it's happened so I would give them the chance to fix it.

Poor little thing. I would go with what your DH has said and make the suggestion. I assume they followed procedure the accident book and provided first aid?

If your relationship with the nursery has been good up to now then I wouldn't spoil it with a formal complaint.

Why don't you just ask them to please put hinge protectors on each door so that this cannot happen again?

I hope DD is OK. This sort of thing can be very nasty.

Thank you. DD's finger is ok, red but she doesn't seem to be in any pain. DH has signed an accident form although it only states the date and time and nature of accident. Not further action to be taken.

I think I will approach the manager first and explain my concerns. I just feel like a formal complaint would be the kick up the arse needed to ensure something is definitely done.

I can't believe that it isn't mandatory these days with all the H&S rules.

I wouldn’t be officially complaining, I would be asking about door protectors.

Not everything needs a complaint for it to be resolved.

Surely a formal complaint is the last step in the chain not the first.
I would approach them first with the suggestion.

I'd seek medical advice first then ask them what they will be doing to stop it happening in future.

They will be shocked too that it happened.

Raising your concerns will probably be sufficient because they too will be anxious about this.

Formal complaint is the step to take if they fail to act after you have made your concerns known. Not first thing.

If it's a decent nursery they won't need "a kick up the arse" as they will be wanting to do everything in their power to prevent it happening again.

If you have had a good relationship with the nursery to date I would take your DH's approach and have a friendly chat with them about your concerns. If you go in all guns blazing you are going to potentially damage your relationship with the nursery so you need to be prepared for that and have alternative childcare in place.

Glad your DD is okay.

Finger guards in door standard practise in primary schools, has this bit been picked up in a risk assessment? Ask!

Your dh is right. Formal complaint isn't necessary, just ask if they are going to be fitting door protectors. If not then ask how they are planning on protecting other children from the same injury.

But also stop a moment. Her finger is red, but she doesn't seem to be in pain. No damage done. There could easily be a time when she does have permanent damage when she's in your care.

To put it in prospective I know someone who was with their 2yo at home watching toddler playing on the mat, turned away to pick up the baby who was crying, and 2yo ran across the lawn to dad, who was on motorised lawnmower and was unable to see them and stop in time, and the child lost the arm above the elbow. The parents said one of the hardest things to do was to not spend time blaming each other. They had to move forward and campaign for safety procedures to stop it happening to another child.

That’s awful: I’d ask for a written account of how they will make sure it doesn’t happen again before making a complaint

I would just speak to them and ask them what they will be doing to prevent it happening again. There shouldn't be a need for a formal complaint if they take some action.

They are called ‘finger guards ‘ and based on a risk assessment should be fitted where there is a risk of a small DC putting their fingers in the gap.

I would also ask why your Dd was so close to the door to the exit - is this an area where normally children wouldn’t go?

The nursery will have a complaints procedure, but let’s hope when you get there in the morning THEY are approaching YOU to tell you what’s going to be done.

I hope she is better now OP.

When my sister was 2, 18 years ago, this happened to her in a fast food restaurant. Her fingers were flattened but luckily not broken. My mum went to see a solicitor and my sister got a settlement of around 3K. This was put in a trust fund until she was an adult. I would definitely ask to see the accident book, and consider taking things further.

You should ask for a copy of the accident report - when I was a childminder I would complete a full statement of the accident and show on a diagram where on the child's body it had occurred. I had a copy, the parent had a copy. It's not just filling in the accident book.

I know how you feel. My (now X)H trapped my DS's fingers in the hinge side of a door (three of them - fingers, not doors) because he was obsessively fussing and faffing about shutting doors right left and centre as we were leaving the house "for security" (would have made NO difference to security since none of the doors had locks of any kind) and for him to have injured our child for such stupidness. I swear to God I could have absolutely smashed him to death at that point in time, I was livid. Poor DS was crying his eyes out and his fingers were bruised and v battered but thankfully not broken and he could bend and move them.

In a situation where several children can be moving around near a door where they might be periodically unseen behind the people opening and closing the door, a standard 'this building' risk assessment should have identified that this was a risk of injury and a hinge guard been fitted. You might want to ask for their risk assessment - bad if they don't have one, not so bad if they do have one but no risk was identified because when you complete one you should look at everything with a v critical eye for what damage it can do, not assuming it can't cause damage.

Definitely speak to them to give them a chance to put up door finger guards. But if they don't do anything then put in a formal complaint. It needs to be sorted before it happens again.

My son was a lot older when he chopped his finger in the door at home, he had to have surgery to sew it back up (it was flapping 😩)

Glad your Dd is ok.

I'm sure the OP hadn't thought of compensation at all Ymamiss Not everyone's first thought is money and she says her husband signed the accident form.
Yes to door guards.

consider taking things further

I think the main thing is to stop it from happening again to OP's Dd or another child 🙄

Something similar happened to DS a long time ago.
In that case he required plastic surgery to fix a nasty cut and he broke a bone in his finger.
We didn't complain as nursery immediately put measures in place to stop it ever happening again. They felt awful and phoned for regular updates on DS. The manager was in tears that evening as she spoke to DS father. It was a great nursery (really great) and they gave DS great first aid - he was quite happy when I arrived. Also since we wanted to send DD there and as we felt they handled it in the right way we didn't take it any further.
Each circumstance will be different though.