AIBU to want to adopt my neighbour's cat

[Twixes]

My neighbours got a beautiful kitten last summer who has been left outside all day while they go to work. It's incredibly friendly and has been trying to make friends with everyone on our road, including me who's kind of fallen for it. It miaows and miaows outside my house and it's sometimes soooo cold that I have been letting it in to sleep on my sofa, or on my lap.

I was talking to the owner recently saying how cute it was and she was saying they now have a house for it outside. Anyone else think it's a bit mean for a cat to sleep outside? She knows I let it into my house, but I'm not sure if they let it in to theirs at all. In fact, they went away for the weekend and the poor thing was outside the whole time, he pretty much sat outside my door for the weekend, poor pet.

I'd happily continue this cat-visiting arrangement during the day, but I recently learnt that he hasn't been neutered, what if he sprayed all over my house?! yuck! I'm thinking my options are to either:

a) ask her can I adopt him and then get him neutered, hoping he hasn't learnt the habit of spraying
b) just get over it, never let him back in again and just get my own cat ... but what if unneutered neighbour cat took offence to this and tried to get at my own cat(s) and subsequently sprayed all over my house?
c) just get over the spraying thing and get on with my life

but no, I love this cat and he clearly doesn't like being an outdoor cat! help...

My granddad hated cats hated them so much he built a cat shelter in the garden out of the wind all the cats would sleep in we also had foxes in the next door garden so he thought it was safer for them too.

I think cats decide who they want to own them - this one has picked you!

The spraying: I had problems with this with a neutered tom who had a serious case of clinginess and anxiety thanks to having had a home where he had been idolised and then pushed out in favour of young children. I also took on an unneutered tom who never, ever sprayed in the house (yes, before you all get on your high horses, I did have him neutered. We had to wait because he wasn't strong enough to have an op for several months owing to being seriously neglected). I would let the cat in, but watch him carefully for any sign of spraying. He may be fine. You do need to raise the neutering soon, though.

Yep, I had a (pretty much spherical) six dinner Sid. Now by agreement homed with a woman about a mile away who just 'couldn't resist' feeding her treats when she sat on the windowsill and miaowed. She's a somewhat skanky looking elderly muddy-tabby from the rescue (sorry, 'probably part Russian Blue given her looks') which I'm sure helped in her plaintive act.

I'm relieved by the final outcome as I kept getting summoned to 'take her home as she was lost' despite the fact that she could patently trot from A to B in about 20 minutes. I did point out that if you feed a cat treats and cuddle it, its not that surprising it drops round regularly! I'm not sure that the other cat & dog who live there are so happy about the arrangement - I've seen 'Sid' there, and she is very clearly on a mission to ensure prime position as only pet.

My other cats I have to say are rather pleased about the situation, as she used to beat them up on a regular basis. Only downside is that she's a demon hunter, & I have cats at least in part to deal with rodents (smallholding).

In your situation I'd definitely suggest adopting the cat - if your neighbours don't mind then you've opened up another space with them for a homeless rescue cat if nothing else.

I have cats and would be gutted if they went to live with someone else. On the other hand, I wouldn't leave my cats un-neutered to roam outside. Most cats found dead at the side of the road are entire males.

They're not taking his care and welfare very seriously are they?

Catnap him - start feeding him, get him neutered - he will just move in with you.

Get him neutered yourself, he'll be fine by the time they're home from work, none the wiser

I never fail to be astounded by the stupidity posted on Mumsnet.

One of my cats left home but still comes and visits every now and then. It does hurt a bit that he left home but he looks well cared for so not much to do about it really.I wouldn't force him to stay in as that's cruel.My stepdads cat was the same but it moved in with a lady 3 doors down.

Of course you should, and give him the life he deserves

Get him neutered yourself, he'll be fine by the time they're home from work, none the wiser

You do realise you can't just take random cats to the vets and neuter them, right?

You do realise you can't just take random cats to the vets and neuter them, right?

If he hasn't been to the vet to be chipped you could though, and return him afterwards, in his own interests, not to steal him. To have him chipped as well wouldn't be advisable unless his owner agreed.

I can see both sides.

We have a 13 year old cat who thinks that because we live in a terrace, all the houses are his. He goes in and out of as many as possible. He was hand reared (by me) and as such thinks all humans dote on him. He also does not particularly like being indoors - his pattern is to sleep in at night if it's cold, but if we stop him going out he stresses, shreds carpets and poos. He prefers to pop in and out for the odd hour here and there (and eat tea/dreamies)

New neighbours moved in a year ago. Since then, someone has bought him new collars (always putting his name tag on the new collar with our phone number, which is something). I've wrapped paper notes around the collar saying don't feed him, he's on a specialist diet, yet he's getting fatter. I've done Facebook posts and fliers around the whole area. He's now enormously overweight and comes home once a fortnight at most. If I'm lucky I will see him in gardens to know he's still alive.

I'm bloody gutted. He's my oldest pet, I literally saved him as an abandoned kitten...and because people are ignoring what I'm saying he will no doubt have a shortened life, and I'm missing out on it. I've also no doubt that if he became ill that they would ring my number for the first time ever and ask me to pay for treatment (which of course I'd do)

Please actually have a conversation with them.

• I have cats and would be gutted if they went to live with someone else. On the other hand, I wouldn't leave my cats un-neutered to roam outside. Most cats found dead at the side of the road are entire males.

They're not taking his care and welfare very seriously are they?*

This exactly ^. They have no catflap, they go away for periods of time where he's left outside, they let him roam, unneutered. This cat is the talk of the neighborhood, as a very tiny small kitten he would miaow outside people's doors. He's incredibly social and just wants company!

I appreciate that some cats are quite solitary and enjoy the outdoors, but everything about this guy's behaviour tells me he just wants to be inside, with human company (he follows me from room to room). I promise I have only given him food once a few weeks ago, it's company and warmth is what he seems to want.

And there's no way I'd neuter him, although it's tempting!

As an animal lover how he's treated makes me sad as it's highly likely it's not going to end well.

You do realise you can't just take random cats to the vets and neuter them, right?
Course you can, if their owner isn't looking after them properly- In fact I have done this with a local cat that was un neutered and also had cat flu. He was covered in cuts on his ears and head from fighting and old scabby wounds. Was a real sorry sight. Owners didn't give a shit and it needed to see a vet. Vets cleaned him up, gave him injections, and neutered him. By 4pm he was back on the street looking a bit perkier.

"I'm not sure if they let it in to theirs at all"

"they went away for the weekend and the poor thing was outside the whole time, he pretty much sat outside my door for the weekend, poor pet"

"he's clearly not happy being out, and this morning he was miaowing for 2 hours outside my house looking for food"

"Poor thing obviously didn't get dinner last night either!"

If someone cannot or will not do the right thing by their 'pet' then all bets are off.

Your neighbour is a bastard. Outside house for a cat?! And not neutering the poor puss? Seriously, people like this one are a problem and a reason why so many cats end up in shelters.

However angry I would be with the neighbour, I'd first offer to buy a cat. Hope the bitch will not turn down the money. She should not have had a kitten in the first place if she doesn't know how to look after it.

Don’t be ridiculous, so long as the animal has shelter it really doesn’t care if you deem it inside or outside your home. Not neutering is antisocial for a male cat living in urban areas, because of unwanted kittens.