AIBU to refuse to pay for this ticket?

[SweetieJar]

A friend has booked me a ticket to a charity night without asking. She's done similar before twice now. Booking events that I hadn't shown any interest in attending and I've asked her not to. I'm not at all a party person and really struggle with large events-partly due to autism- She knows this but seems to take it personally that I dislike parties. -I will attend for a friend or family's birthday/wedding but that's about it.

The event that she's booked is a Ladies' Night for a charity that I'm not really familiar with. It costs £37-That's with a discount apparently- and it's very much alcohol and makeover/fashion focused. I don't drink alcohol and I don't wear makeup or have any real interest in fashion. I have no problem with others having those interests and there's nothing wrong with them but they just aren't my thing.

She's pissed off that I've declined to go and that I don't want to pay. AIBU to refuse to pay for an event that I didn't ask to attend?

Do Not Pay
Do Not Go

Just say no.
Unbelievably rude to do this to you.

She keeps using the 'But its for a charity' guilt trip

So just tell her you already give to the charities you choose to support.

Don't pay OP.

£37 is a lot to just write off, she's done it before and will keep doing until you say no.

So just tell her you already give to the charities you choose to support

it doesn't even matter if you don't support ANY charities - you don't have to be guilted!

Definitely say, "no thanks...I'm not into that." Otherwise this will keep happening. She basically wants you to accompany her to events she's interested in! Do not pay her, she never asked you if you wanted to go. It would be like sainsburys putting a leg of lamb into your shop without asking you and charging you for it!

Too right your not paying. She should ask if you wanted to go and say how much it is not just assume you will. She knows your not into these things but still pushes you to go. Im guessing this is because everyone else has cut her off for being so pushy and selfish. Stand your ground.

Just say no! Yanbu.

I suspect she wants the other people involved in this event to be impressed by how many tickets she has sold, and it is possible you aren’t the only person she’s done this to, OP.

She thinks you’re a soft touch who’ll give in eventually.
I’d just say firmly that you aren’t going and in future please don’t get any tickets on my behalf unless I have specifically asked you to.

If someone tried to make me buy a ticket to something I didn't want to go to, had expressed no interest in or indeed had no knowledge of before they bought it I'd laugh in their face! It's utterly ridiculous!

As its not the first time, you really need to put your foot down now.

"No! I don't want to go, you didn't even ASK me before buying it and I have ZERO interest in attending! Return it or sell it to someone who does want to go. And DON'T do this again"

Until her bad behaviour causes (expensive) consequences for her she won't change.

She is no friend, I would ditch her. Good friends would never ever do something like this!

I bought a ticket to my DC's school concert and texted MIL to let her know I'd got her one too. I hadn't had a chance to speak to her first, as tickets go quite fast.
She can't make it, so my response was 'oh that's a shame, oh well, never mind!' because I took it upon myself to buy the ticket. No guilt tripping or whining.
Stand firm OP, she doesn't get to spend your money, which is essentially what's she's trying to do.

Your hopefully soon-to-be-EX-friend is one heck of a cheeky fucker! Buying stuff unasked for and expecting you to pay for it, what the actual F?

YANBU to not pay and not to go. Stick to you guns - if she ditches you tbh she doesn't sound worth it! No one should just get someone a ticket - they could be busy/on holiday/working/not like the event, anything at all!

She sounds like a right cheeky fucker. Who buys a ticket for someone without discussing it with them first and then expects them to pay.

Well done for sticking to your guns. She's not being a true friend. £37 is quite a lot to just spring on you too! Very assuming and rude. The guilting over charity would be nail in coffin of friendship for me

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I'm going to reiterate that I am not paying for this ticket under any circumstances. If she continues to try to force/convince me then the friendship may be over.

I do think that she's trying to support/impress her friend who is helping to organise the event but that really isn't my problem.

'But its for a charity' guilt trip and complaining that she'll be left with the fee but I don't care.

CF Friend: "I'm annoyed because I'm left with the fee."
You: "But it's for charity! That's a good thing - you get to donate twice as much!!"
CFF: "I'm happy to support the charity, but I can't afford/don't think it's fair for me to have to pay for an extra ticket that I won't use."
You: "But you somehow decided that it was OK for me to pay for an extra ticket that I won't use?"
CFF: "Errrrrrrrrrrrr........."

It was her decision to buy two of something that she only needed one of. It's HER problem as to what she does with it - NOT yours. If you really wanted to, you could tip off the charity that people are emotionally blackmailing people who can't afford or don't want to into donating - that can't be very good for their image.

I can't STAND people who are passionate about charities (which is great), but then try to dictate to others that they should be equally as passionate. Giving to charity is a personal thing. By all means let them offer tickets for sale or make it known that they'd welcome donations, but a polite "No, thank you" should be sufficient for them to respect your wishes - you don't need to give any reason at all why not.

Op you have managed that rare feat - a unanimous aibu thread that backs you and can see that it is your ‘friend’ that is being unreasonable.

Take strength from that when telling your friend not to be so ridiculous, you absolutely will not be paying out lots of money for a ticket to an event that you weren’t asked about, for activities that you actively don’t like, for a charity that you don’t want to support... she can ask her friend for a refund or to resell it - really not your problem.

Good luck and enjoying doing whatever you choose to do on that evening!

She sounds like a controlling CF! Don't let her get away with it!! X

YANBU tell her directly once again. Something along the lines of "do not book tickets on my behalf, I very much enjoy your company but I hate large social events and the fact that you are refusing to listen is really upsetting me."

Of course YANBU! She shouldn't have bought it without checking with you first.

YANBU and good job for sticking to your guns.

Yanbu - dont pay and dont go!

She's trying to make herself look good at your literal expense. She wants to be the one who drums up donations for the charity by spending your money on something you don't want! Not a good friend and not really a way to gain support for a charity either.