AIBU to refuse to pay for this ticket?

[SweetieJar]

A friend has booked me a ticket to a charity night without asking. She's done similar before twice now. Booking events that I hadn't shown any interest in attending and I've asked her not to. I'm not at all a party person and really struggle with large events-partly due to autism- She knows this but seems to take it personally that I dislike parties. -I will attend for a friend or family's birthday/wedding but that's about it.

The event that she's booked is a Ladies' Night for a charity that I'm not really familiar with. It costs £37-That's with a discount apparently- and it's very much alcohol and makeover/fashion focused. I don't drink alcohol and I don't wear makeup or have any real interest in fashion. I have no problem with others having those interests and there's nothing wrong with them but they just aren't my thing.

She's pissed off that I've declined to go and that I don't want to pay. AIBU to refuse to pay for an event that I didn't ask to attend?

Anyone who does this sort of thing is not a friend. She's just someone you happen to know.

Don't pay, and if she's pissed off with you, all well and good - just another reason to drop her completely.

Are you quite sure she's a friend not just a cheeky fucker? None of my friends would do that, and if they did I wouldn't pay.

OP do not pay for this ticket or any other ticket in the future.

She sounds like a bully that is trying to force you to be the kind of person she thinks you should be rather than enjoying your friendship for the person you are.

Stand firm and refuse to engage with her nonsense

Stick to your guns, OP, then this will be the last time she does it.

No, of course YANBU. Tell her straight.

100% don't pay. She's being totally out of order and really unfair on you. And make it clear that you will never pay her for anything she books for you again unless you have specifically stated that you want her to.

I'm involved with a few charities and my friend/colleague does this to me too. I decide what charities I support - not her. I told her the last time that I already had something else on that day so I didn't want the ticket and the next time she needed to ask me. I refused to pay.

She still pushes it every so often but she seems to have learnt her lesson that I won't pay for unwanted tickets.

I agree with everyone else that you do not pay for this ticket. It was stupid of her to buy it for you without asking first. Hopefully it will teach her a lesson. I'm sure she'll find someone else to sell it to. Don't give it another thought, but if she does mention it again tell her firmly and clearly that you did not ask her to buy it.

At best she is being very pushy, at worst bullying. She is obviously simply not listening to what you are saying. Possibly you said something like "Not really my thing" and she chose to hear "Perhaps". Stick to your guns and don't pay for this ticket and she won't don't this again.

Why would a charity sell tickets for a fundraising event at a discount? That doesn't make sense for starters.

Just say, thanks for the offer but as I explained, I am not very interested in this event. Hope you manage to sell your ticket.
Cheeky cow!

Why would a charity sell tickets for a fundraising event at a discount?

Because they've been flogging tickets at £50 and haven't sold anywhere near enough so have dropped the price to try and shift some more. Seen that regularly.

Sounds to me as if your friend wants to go but doesn’t want to go alone.

YANBU. and what EstuaryBird said.

When she’s done it twice before have you went along or paid for the tickets?

Friends don't do this, I'd be inclined to think hard about her value as a friend.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. Ignore any pleas that she is out of pocket.

The first time I foolishly attended but that was about bearable as it was an afternoon tea type thing. The second wasn't for a charity, it was a race night(not my thing at all again) I declined and due to work couldn't go anyway, but a mutual friend decided to take the ticket. This time a friend of hers is one of the organisers so I understand that she's eager to help out but she still has no right to expect me to fund it. She keeps using the 'But its for a charity' guilt trip and complaining that she'll be left with the fee but I don't care. I do think that her reaction will determine where the friendship goes from here.

I haven't seen the tickets but as she has form for this I don't doubt that she's bought it.

Yanbu. Embrace your autism and say no I wont be going. Because I dont want to if she pushes for an explanation.

Of course don’t pay her.
Pinkbells’s got the perfect answer:
thanks for the offer but as I explained, I am not very interested in this event. Hope you manage to sell your ticket.

PLEASE say no thanks or do you want to be dealing with this sort of thing over and over again?!

YANBU, and I would just reiterate that you don’t want her to buy you any event tickets unless you’ve both discussed it and you’ve agreed the price etc.

Or even
As I have already said, no thank you.

cuckooing - term used when someone takes (financial usually) advantage of someone vulnerable (& socially you are op) just say no thanks - I didn't request/ask you to do this & I don't want to go - please ask someone else.

not the behaviour of a friend.

say no.