Losing everything. Can we ever recover?

[itsallgonetohell]

Name changed for this as very outing.

DH has always been a bit of a wheeler dealer, and has recently made some catastrophic financial decisions which now mean that we have no choice but to sell our house and move into rental with our DC. I think we'll still be in debt after that to be honest.

I am pressing pause on any anger and resentment until we are out of this dire situation. He has been ridiculously stupid, but he's a good man and had all the best intentions. But like I said, I will deal with the anger once I'm not so frantic and afraid.

Has anyone had experience of losing their home and getting back on the ladder at a later date? DH is in his late fifties, which complicated things in terms of work/mortgages.

I just feel so petrified about what's going to happen now. The estate agent is coming today to value the property for a quick sale.

Oh my, Rachie. That is quite a story. I am so glad you and your family came through ok but it must have been very difficult for all of you.

My goodness! Some phenomenally strong women here. So impressed 👍🥰

Is this how we define ‘strong women’ these days? Women who choose to stay with financially irresponsible ‘men’ who are perfectly happy to gamble their family’s home and money away, causing insecurity, upheaval and potential homelessness for their children?

It baffles me as to why these ‘strong women’ choose to put up with this sort of financial abuse?

@lakielady
Your friend is hardly a tale of success when Daddy gave her £200k

I've had a fairly similar experience and bought my DH out of the property.He had been declared bankrupt and his lack of any common sense around finances meant I couldn't ever trust him again.It's maybe something you need to consider in the future when you do get back on your feet. I would personally never risk losing the family home ever again, it's a stop too far.

Ty femalepersonator. Xx it was hard, but we value the family we have most of all x

I don't get why the op's dh is getting in the neck. When there is nothing in her posts to imply he has purposely hidden facts from her.

OP is getting my advice for reasons I have clearly set out. Only she can decide if her DH is 'worth the effort'.

My focus has been for her to see that she can make any decision that best suits her and the children and that she has absolutely no need to be the strong woman if she chooses not to be. She can just walk away from him and, after taking as much legal advice as she can find, sorting out her part of the debt and leave him to work out how to get himself out from under the mess he has made.

Op. Double check all direct debits set up. The gym, healthcare, season ticket could be just the tip of the iceberg. Are you sure you know about all credit cards? He does sound in denial. Sorry

But yes, you can and will get through this. Our sound determined and strong. As you say crying, at the moment, won’t help. There’ll be a time when you breathe out the fear and anger. Good luck.