Or is my Husband

[BlackbootsNC]

My husband watched football today at home.

We have 2 kids under 5. Game was 4.30 to 6.30pm

Hes getting grumpy now that the kids have been noisy and in front of the TV and he only wanted 90 mins peace.

I dont begrudge him having 90 mins but what does he expect me to do with 2 kids on a wet and windy Sunday afternoon.

I said he could of gone to the pub or gone upstairs to watch it but he said no why should he.

And that I should have taken them out. I'd like to know where at 4pm on a Sunday.

So who is BU please?

It's perfectly reasonable for your DH to want to watch a sporting event without interruption.

Unless he regularly takes the children out to give you 'me time' uninterrupted in your own living room and provides a meal at the end of that time, he IBVU to expect you to keep the children out of their own living room for that long.

Once you're a parent, you have to accept that they will impact on your leisure time. That impact could be that he has to watch on a smaller tv in the bedroom (no big deal) or go out to the pub/friends' houses if he wants to guarantee uninterrupted viewing on a bigger screen. There will be some match days when he's lucky and the weather is nicer so the children can be outside more easily. He just shouldn't get shitty if that doesn't happen.

Just out of interest, what would you do if you wanted some uninterrupted 'me time' and how would he usually facilitate it?

I don't think he's being unreasonable to want 90 minutes peace to watch the football.

But with two young children he needs to realise that's not always going to be possible! He could have gone to the pub but chose not to use that option so he has to accept being at home with small children means that there won't be blissful silence!

Have you asked him what he expected you to do with two small children at that time on a Sunday with the weather like it was?

lol I tend to take my DD upstairs when DH is watching football. We watch movies or play games or make cards.
Find what works for you. You are both not BU in my opinion. It was just a clash of interests.

He sounds like an arse. What are the kids supposed to do, sit there in silence?

He's BU anyway, let along the fact he could have gone upstairs or to the pub as an option. That just makes him sound like an arsehole to be honest.

I think some of the posts on here are a complete over-reaction.

*This is why - and I’m not exaggerating - I could not have married a sports fanatic

Likewise - the fanaticism and moods when teams lose is too much for me.*

with you two on this! My last ex was a sports fanatic and I hated how every sunday was essentially lost to football watching. Didn't even have to be his team!

I'd say your DH is being massively unreasonable OP, but then I am bias in my utter dislike of football fanaticism.

He should have gone to the pub if he wanted to watch it with no children in the way.

He was only after 90 mins - shame he couldn't get it.

I wonder how often the OP gets 90 mins of uninterrupted 'me time'.

Personally I would have gone to the pub to watch it (in fact I did).

I don't really think either of you are being unreasonable to be honest. Even with children it's perfectly acceptable to want a couple of hours to do your own thing. If he expected it every time a match was on then that's unreasonable but, for a one-off big televised game, I don't think it is.

There seems to be an expectation on here that any man who wants a couple of hours to indulge in their interests is instantly a selfish twat and a bad parent (without any other knowledge of their usual behaviour).

If my wife was having her hair cut/coloured (probably takes a similar amount of time) then I'd keep the kids in the other room. Yes, she can still have it done with the kids in the same room but, as it would be an indulgence, it makes sense that she is left in peace to enjoy that bit of 'adult' time.

I agree with you PBo83, having kids shouldn't mean never getting 'me' time. It just needs to be an equal give and take!

No I cant see both sides of this. He is , 3 against 1.

he said no why should he
Because he would have had some peace and been able to watch the match properly!!!!
He sounds like a child.
But he had other options and HE chose not to take them!

Someone asked what I do for free time. If I have free time in the house to do my nails or sort some bits out he says he will have them but the kids always come and find me and take all my varnish or make up etc.
So if I truly need me time I go out as that's the only way I get it.

Hes not as bad as some posters are making out he is generally really good with the children on a Sunday when he is home and helps with bedtime in the week.
I was just frustrated he wouldn't go upstairs or out. I try to make him go out for his time loads but he chooses not to take it, but then I guess if he wants to watch it downstairs, I should compromise and go upstairs with the kids. I guess from a mans point of view he wanted to watch it on the sofa rather than the bed..

He could have gone out. He’s being an area. I’d walk out right now without the kids. Why do so many women put up with useless, lazy, selfish husbands??? Aibu is full of it!

Why do so many women put up with useless, lazy, selfish husbands??? Aibu is full of it!

AIBU's full of it because the second anyone's husband does a single thing they disagree with they get labelled "Lazy & selfish" and the OP gets told to leave them (or, at least, dump the kids on them and walk out the door...a very mature response naturally).

The OP said in the comment immediately above yours that he's normally really good, helpful and hands-on with the kids. She was just asking if here response to this isolated incident was unreasonable (I don't think it was) and not for a judgement on her husband of whom we know very little.