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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my Husband

65 replies

BlackbootsNC · 10/03/2019 18:30

My husband watched football today at home.

We have 2 kids under 5. Game was 4.30 to 6.30pm

Hes getting grumpy now that the kids have been noisy and in front of the TV and he only wanted 90 mins peace.

I dont begrudge him having 90 mins but what does he expect me to do with 2 kids on a wet and windy Sunday afternoon.

I said he could of gone to the pub or gone upstairs to watch it but he said no why should he.

And that I should have taken them out. I'd like to know where at 4pm on a Sunday.

So who is BU please?

OP posts:
maras2 · 10/03/2019 19:17

Tell your 'D'H from me that he's a pig.

Parsleyisntfood · 10/03/2019 19:17

DH is a sports fan, of the can’t miss a match variety. He gave up his season ticket when Ds was on the way and money was going to be tight. When he watches at home, he actively involves kids. Nothing makes them clear off faster than being taught (the age appropriate) songs, offside rule and why the 1972 442 was pinnacle and these modern boys couldn’t hold a candle to them.
Difference is while a fanatic DH is part of the family and that doesn’t change for a cup final.
I really mean this, ask DH to get the kids involved cause like a pp said there’s plenty talking and jumping about at actual match’s.

Sh1ttySh1ttybangbang · 10/03/2019 19:19

Partly depends on the layout of your home (how tricky it would be for the children to be in a different room). To be fair, everyone needs time to themselves, children or not. If this was the time he opted for, then YABU unless it’s a regular occurrence.
Also unsure why wet and windy weather means children can’t be outside

Everyone needs time to themselves yes, but he can’t expect his wife and kids to stay out of the sitting room or leave the house because he wants to watch the football!! If he wants time to himself then he should take himself elsewhere - like the bedroom - to watch the football!!

eggofmantumbi · 10/03/2019 19:23

Definitely your husband. My 2 year old stood right in front of the TV doing her own commentary today and mine coped.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 10/03/2019 19:26

Tell your 'D'H from me that he's a pig.

Wow . OTT much.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 10/03/2019 19:28

Your husband isn’t just being unreasonable. He’s being selfish, rude and kind of a twat.

Iseesheep · 10/03/2019 19:30

He is. We've had a hard and fast rule from the beginning. This is home where we and the kids live. If you need utter silence and no disruptions then you go out of the house where there aren't any. That goes for rugby matches and working from home. It's worked for us and, now the kids are late teens, even they bugger off to the library if they want to concentrate 100%. A house has lots of people in it, it's unfair to expect 75% of the occupants to accommodate 25%.

Springwalk · 10/03/2019 19:32

I would not be cooking dinner whilst simultaneously keeping two toddlers quiet for 90 minutes full stop.
Op you need to say no. It is bedroom or pub, and when the football has finished its his turn to tidy and clean and look after the children for 90 minutes.

He is being entirely U

FizzyGreenWater · 10/03/2019 19:34

He really needs to start getting the memo that it's not just a house of adults any more.

His children are there because they live there.

If he requires a child-free space, he needs to find one if his children happen to be in their home at the time.

'Can you leave your house please, I want this space free for a couple of hours'.

Would he have ever said that to a housemate, or his parents when he lived with them?!

Maybe write this down in very. simple. words. for him.

Mmmhmmm · 10/03/2019 19:35

Is the TV in the bedroom smaller?

Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit · 10/03/2019 19:35

I’m going against the consensus here and say I don’t think your DH is UR. Parents are entitled to their own alone time to do something they enjoy.
It was only two hours I’m sure you could have arranged something or taken them upstairs for two hours.

Iltavilli · 10/03/2019 19:37

@Sh1ttySh1ttybangbang thanks for the many exclamation marks they really added weight to your argument.

I mentioned the house layout, as, for example, if the OP has a separate playroom etc it would be unreasonable for the H to be able to watch football in the living room with minimal interruptions.

Singlenotsingle · 10/03/2019 19:41

He needs to understand he's not a single man any more and he can't just do what he wants, when he wants. We had 2 dgc here this afternoon plus 2 friends, and the TV just showed background cartoons while kids played (marble mountain, hide and seek, tents, chase, Conga round the kitchen, lounge and dining room). You need to be firmer with him.

sollyfromsurrey · 10/03/2019 19:42

He could have watched the game in the bedroom or the pub but he didn't want to. He wanted to make you suffer in the wind and rain rather than actually be an adult and watch is another perfectly comfortable and appropriate space. He is totally BU

Mummyshark2018 · 10/03/2019 19:43

He is being massively unreasonable. You gave him options and he chose to watch in the communal family area. My dh wouldn't think twice up taking up an offer of going to pub (or upstairs)! Given it was a big game if he was that interested he should have gone somewhere where he could more or less guarantee peace!

Crockof · 10/03/2019 19:46

Bu if you said he couldn't watch it. Yanbu as there were perfectly good alternatives,

Shockers · 10/03/2019 19:51

I disagree singlenotsingle- he shouldn’t have to miss the football because there are children in the house!

However, neither can he expect perfect peace with children in the house. I agree with a pp- get the kids involved with the match.

TildaTurnip · 10/03/2019 19:56

Parents are entitled to their own alone time to do something they enjoy
He could have gone somewhere else to enjoy his alone time.
It was only two hours I’m sure you could have arranged something or taken them upstairs for two hours
Or he could have gone out or gone upstairs for two hours, given he’s a grown man.

AnOwlCalledPlop · 10/03/2019 20:02

God almighty. Sometimes you just need a little bit of quiet and sometimes you can be a bit unreasonable about it. Big deal. He’s only human.

I find my patience wearing thin with my two under fives. When they’ve been in my ear all day and crying and hanging off my legs when I’m trying to make the tea. Sometimes I get irrationally irritated.

Everything is always so black and white on here

Onceuponacheesecake · 10/03/2019 20:03

Most kids are hard work between 4:30-6:30 IMO plus I'm guessing they would need feeding within that time. Where was OP supposed to put them? He really should have gone upstairs. YANBU at all.

Charley50 · 10/03/2019 20:20

He is.

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 10/03/2019 20:21

My DC are now 5 and 6 and this year is the first year since they came along that DH is guaranteed to be able to watch a whole game of rugby without someone repeatedly jumping on him/demanding snacks/producing board games to play/declaring that they are going to stage a “show” in front of the TV/having a breakdown because it isn’t CBeebies. And this has been hard won, with lots of discussions and preparation that parents get to watch things they like on the TV too.

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 10/03/2019 20:49

So your DH is being U. Expectations of the DC are currently too high. It’ll come round again that he is able to watch a match.

Deadringer · 10/03/2019 21:07

ivgotasecret the op was cooking dinner so not practical to bring the children upstairs. No one is objecting to the dh having time to himself, including the op, but he could have watched it in another room or at the pub.

Sh1ttySh1ttybangbang · 10/03/2019 21:48

@Iltavilli

No problem. Here’s some more for you !!!!!!!!!

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