To think I'm not a "young Mum"?

[AlwaysFuckingTired94]

Pregnant with DC1 at 22, had her at 23

Pregnant with DC2 at 23 and had her at 24.

Aibu to think this isn't young to have kids? It's definitely the average age to start a family where I grew up.

Keep getting referred to as a "young Mum" out and about, at toddler groups etc and it feels a tad patronising.

[MaltedMilk88]

I'd say you are a young mum too, at your age my career was really just kicking off and I had absolutely no interest in becoming a parent despite being with my partner (now husband) since 18. I'm early 30s now and pregnant with our first.
However in comparison to a lot of my friends who typically started having children around 25/26 so I'm probably classed as an old mum.
Sad that you feel patronised, I don't feel that ones age should matter.

[Gillian1980]

A lot of agencies refer to any mum under 25 as a young mum, so by their standards you would be considered one, regardless of whether you feel it or not.

I had my first at 35 and am expecting again at 39, and have been classed as a geriatric mother both times. I don’t feel like I’m an old mum at all but it’s just the classification they use.

[TapasForTwo]

Yes you are, but there is nothing wrong with that. Most 24 year olds I know aren't ready for the responsibility and commitment that children bring. They just want to have fun - go out, travel etc before they settle down.

[VioletCharlotte]

I had mine at 22 and 24. I didn't feel at all young at the time, but when I meet people now who are in their early 20's, they seem really young to me!

Nothing wrong with being a young Mum though. I think it's a good thing in lots of ways as you have more energy and tend to be more adaptable. I'm 43 now and mine are both grown up.

[BusySittingDown]

You are young but enjoy it! I was 23 when I had my first and I love that I had her young. Most of my friends my age have babies and toddlers - I'm done with that stage as my eldest is at high school and my youngest is 8. They're becoming independent and I'm loving it.

[Onceuponacheesecake]

It is young. Just because it's normal in your circles doesn't make in untrue. It just means you're all young mums.

[OwlBeThere]

I was around the same age having my first two and didn’t feel especially young at the time but with hindsight I think I was pretty young especially when you consider the average first timer is 29. Buy it’s not an insult or anything!

[DaedricLordSlayer]

I had mine at simular ages I didn't feel 'young' I'd lived quite a life before being pregnant. DC were planned and I had been living with DH for 4 years by then and I owned my own house before meeting him.

But if I stop to look at the ages of my friends, antenatal friends and DC parents. They are all 10 years min older than me. I never really thought about it TBH and if my friends thought I was young they never said.

I'm early 40s with one older teen and a mid teen. I couldn't possible imagine doing the baby and primary years again

I went part time, and later took a bit of time out to be SAHM. coming back into work at a younger age with the baby stage out the way means it's been easy to pick the reins back up and plenty of years to progress, I was progressing in my career whilst women my age were just starting to take time out of work on maternity leave/going PT/ being SAHM.

I wouldn't class you as a young mum because I'd have to class 30 year old mums as an old mum?

my classification is
teen mum = young mum
20-36 = just mum (average)
37,40+ = older mum

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

DD had DGS at 21 after the pill failed, so they lived us while she finished her degree. I reckon she's probably got it the right way round, as she won't have to restart her career in her late 30s. As for the "young mum" label, I would like to see someone say it to her face.

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

Young in my circle. I had #1 a few months before my 30th and I was the youngest.

[excitedtobehere]

Where I'm from
Teens / 20's 'Young' Mum
30's 'Common age' Mum
40's+ 'Older' Mum

IME it doesn't really matter as long as DC are well cared for.

[firstbrightday]

I think it's very young. However I wouldn't think it had any affect on your parenting abilities.

[WeeDoughball]

It is young nowadays. I'm a good bit older than you at 32 and am the youngest of the 'nursery mums' by 6/7 years. I had mine at 28 and 31 so not what I'd class as young but still the youngest of friends too (lots of mc or else first baby would have been at 26)

[EdWinchester]

Of course it's young! Or do you live somewhere where teenagers commonly have babies?

I live in SE and around 30 - 35 is probably the norm.

[StroppyWoman]

I'd say anyone under 25 is a young mum.
My mum had me at 23 and always felt she'd been quite young compared to most of my friends' mums.
I had mine at 30, 33 and 36.
DP said, when discussing a third, "you'd be 36 or 37, and that's getting on a bit." I nearly lamped him.

[ADHMeeee]

I would say from my own experiences and observations that different classes of people are more likely to start younger or older. And depending on the class also determines whether they feel older or younger as well. Then there's factoring in the era. In my nan's era, younger (to me) was more normal. I think I just missed being a young mum, I had my first just before I was 25, had my second when i was turning 29. And I'm glad I started before I turned thirty. No way I'd go through it all from there.

But also, a person's childhood and experiences growing up challenge the maturity of a person and some are more ready, or able to cope when they are younger, because they've grown up faster. I've known someone who had one in her teens and her fifth in her forties. To me, she's been a teen mum, and she's also an older mum.

[Ellapaella]

I was 23 when I had my first ds.
30 when I had number 2
35 when I had number 3
I did not feel like a 'young' parent at 23. Nearly all of my friends had their first child by the time they were in their late twenties.

[IWannaSeeHowItEnds]

I was 23 when my first was born and 34 with my last. I felt young at 23, purely because my friends weren't having babies at that point, although for my parents generation early 20s was the norm. I was ready - I had a job, good relationship and a home I felt like an old mum at 34, so it seemed odd to me that some people were first timers at that age.

If 'young mum' is bring used as a criticism, it is very upsetting - the implication is that you are too young, which is both rude and nobody else's business!

Fwiw, I found it much easier in my 20s than my 30s, even though I had more money later on. I had a lot more energy and was more relaxed. I worried a lot more in my 30s.

[Ellapaella]

And just for reference I was 22 when I fell pregnant, 23 when I had him, had graduated from university and continue to have a perfectly successful career now in my late thirties. Having a child in my early 20's didn't have any impact on my career.

[maddiemookins16mum]

I don’t know anyone with two children before they hit 25 now. However, back in the 80’s quite a few of my friends were married and having babies in their early 20’s.

[Teateaandmoretea]

If 'young mum' is bring used as a criticism, it is very upsetting - the implication is that you aretooyoung, which is both rude and nobody else's business!

If this is honestly used for any woman over the age of 21 having a baby then it says more about the commenter. But then a lot of tiresome people like to think that anyone doing things differently to them is in the wrong.

[macnab]

Well you're half my age, so to me you're young and you're a mum. So you're a young mum. I had my kids at 34 and 36. I often wish we'd had them earlier (with DH 22 years) as they'd be all grown up by now and we'd be free!!

[WombatChocolate]

I don't imagine anyone considers you are of an age to find parenting really difficult. It's not like you're 15. Perhaps you feel that being a teenage parent is what you categorise as young and because you're older than that you're not young. Young doesn't mean incapable and you shouldn't hear those saying you're young as saying you're incapable.

These things vary by area, social group, education etc. In many of these, early 20s will be pretty normal and for those becoming parents before 1980 early 20s was the usual age. It's stayed that way in some areas and groups, often those where people leave education younger and stay in the area they were brought up - big generalisation, but like all generalisations there s broad though not universal truth in them.

In some areas and groups things have changed radically in the course of a generation. Women being in education until their mid 20s and living with partners before marrying and having careers and facing delayed home ownership due to high costs in many areas - all of it has delayed the age many have their first child. Previously people were seen as freaks to have children at 40 as a first timer, but now it's very common and lots of people find that even by 40 they are struggling to have found a partner and financial stability.

20 years ago I was working in an ex-cloth trade town in w.yorkshire. I was a youth and children's worker in my very early 20s. Most of the mothers at the toddler groups I worked in were younger than me with their toddlers. By now, those toddlers have grown up and some will be parents themselves. At the same time, I have school friends who are in their early to mid 40s and there has been a surge of babies in the last 3 years. These babies are a whole generation older than those I saw 20 years ago. People are becoming grandparents and first time mothers who are the same age. The last 20 years of their lives have been very different.

I was 33 when I had my first. My Mum thought I was quite old. She'd been 26 and said she was considered quite old too. As it turned out, I was entirely average in my social group at the time and between about 32 and 35 loads of people had their first and most had another by about 36/37, with some having a third by 40. Those who had theirs beyond 40 either hadn't met their partner until later or had big careers and didn't really think seriously about it until late 30s or had fertility difficulties. Those in their 40s with babies and toddlers are physically tired but they have money to pay for help, are so keen to be parents and to do it well and love it.

At toddler groups, you often get a similar demographic but sometimes more of a range. Although mums can be a generation apart, sleepless nights, weaning aand nappies,plus choosing schools and managing tantrums face them all and bring them together, even if only for a short chat.

[crazycatgal]

I'd say you were young. I'm 25 and I only know of a couple of people that are my age who have a child.

[excitedtobehere]

Long ago you got married and had your DC in your early to mid teens. Were middle aged by 30 and dead by your mid 60's. Times have changed. Back then Op, you would have been a 'geriatric' mother. 😂