Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it normal to describe a 16 Y/O as a "naughty boy"?

76 replies

spotifyhero · 10/03/2019 15:19

Ok so a bit of context needed here

I have twins in Year 11, a girl and a boy. They are a bit of a pain, cheeky and a bit full of themselves, but generally nice kids (ha, what a lovely description from their DM)

Overheard some banter between DS and friends today where one of his mates called him a "naughty boy" then they were joking about how it was just like "Miss " and was he getting turned on etc. (Not the conversation you want to overhear but I am pretty used to it with teenagers).

Anyway, I took the opportunity afterwards to ask my DD about this, I asked who the teacher was and about the comment, she just said "Oh yeh she just always calls him a naughty boy and it gets him gassed cus he fancies her".

Now, I know this is all teenage banter but iMO is it a bit weird for a teacher to be calling a 16 year old a "naughty boy"? To me that sounds like something you would call a small child. I don't want to over react but was just a bit confused about this whole thing. My teens think it's normal and funny but I'm not sure. I'm wondering if the teacher knows the attention this is getting?!

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 10/03/2019 17:58

I think it sounds like she’s treating him as he behaves.
You seem to think he’s shabby behaviour is funny.
I think I’d be hoping he wasn’t excluded for sexual harassment before his exams. Tell him to grow up.

Slowknitter · 10/03/2019 17:59

Just asked DD she said the teacher is definitely english and only young

So? Do you have even the slightest evidence that the teacher is doing anything wrong at all? No. Do you have any evidence that your son is misbehaving and has an inappropriate attitude towards his teacher? Yes. Some parents really do grasp at straws in attempt to blame anyone (usually school) about their child's attitude or behaviour. You already admitted your ds is a pain, but no... it's definitely the teacher at fault. Hmm

Pieceofpurplesky · 10/03/2019 18:17

She probably never used the phrase 'naughty boy' at all. This is probably teenagers twisting it. My own Year 11 class were being really daft and immature the other day and I said 'stop being so naughty - it's like teaching 5 year olds' (they were hiding each other's pens and scribbling in each other's books).

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/03/2019 18:21

@spotifyhero

When will you be speaking to your DS about this?

augustboymummy17 · 10/03/2019 18:24

I might get bashed for this comment but where I work we have a teacher who when kids mess around will make comments like stop being naughty or you won't go out for play time etc this is 16/18 year old students now she is the most respected teacher in the whole school as she is fair but will actually tell them off if needs be it could be something like this?

DaffydownClock · 10/03/2019 18:30

His behaviour is disrespectful regardless of what the teacher said or the fact he's got a crush on her.
He's 100% in the wrong so just what are you going to do about it? He's the problem not the teacher fhs.
Stop blaming the teacher.

NutElla5x · 10/03/2019 18:35

I'd be concerned about your child's bad behaviour in class and the disrespect he shows towards his teacher rather than her exact choice of words to describe him.Why are you not?

Dieu · 11/03/2019 15:43

If we flipped this on its head, a male teacher calling a 16 year old a 'naughty girl' would be reprehensible. Wouldn't matter whether she fancied him or not.

Slowknitter · 11/03/2019 15:50

If we flipped this on its head, a male teacher calling a 16 year old a 'naughty girl' would be reprehensible. Wouldn't matter whether she fancied him or not.

Only if he said it in a 'Carry On' film lecherous style. If he said it straight and was clearly pissed off with her behaviour, it would be a slightly unusual choice of word but not in any way sinister.

BoneyBackJefferson · 11/03/2019 17:17

If we flipped this on its head, a male teacher calling a 16 year old a 'naughty girl' would be reprehensible. Wouldn't matter whether she fancied him or not.

Ah yes, the strawman has come out to play.

Original poster
spotifyhero · 11/03/2019 19:11

I spoke to DS about this today and asked about his behaviour. He said his behaviour is fine in the lesson. I asked why is he being called naughty then and he said, i quote "that's just a joke with miss". I asked what he meant by a joke, he said once when she went out the room he got up and wrote something on the board, and now it's become a joke that he's "the naughty one" but it's a joke.
I said this seemed ridiculous, and his behaviour clearly needs to improve. he then started having a go at me saying his behaviour was fine, i could look at his report (which I did and to be honest, there are no concerns on there) and i could ring his teacher if i wanted.
Now totally stumped!

I also just feel using the word "naughty" to describe kids at this age is odd considering most 16 year olds would be aware of the sexual connotations of the word, if not the most likely people to be using that word in a sexual way themselves!

OP posts:
Dieu · 11/03/2019 19:59

As I said, I'm a high school teacher and mum to a 17 year old. Boy or girl, referring to them as naughty is inappropriate at this age. It either sounds infantilised or sexualised, which is far from ideal.
Why some people can't see that is completely beyond me.

BoneyBackJefferson · 11/03/2019 20:27

spotifyhero

Why are you stumped?

Ring the teacher.

Original poster
spotifyhero · 11/03/2019 23:06

Stumped as in even more confused about the situation!

I will contact school tomorrow

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 11/03/2019 23:13

Just from the OP
Bit of a pain.
Cheeky
Banter.
Yet you seem to think the teacher is the problem? Really? Hmm

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/03/2019 15:59

So your son wrote something on the board and she said along the lines of 'so you're the naughty one'

And from somewhere you have got her calling your son a naughty boy in a sexual way ....

Hmmmm

Pieceofpurplesky · 12/03/2019 16:01

Posted too soon.

What are you going to say to the school?

" my son misbehaved in class and I am uncomfortable because a teacher didn't say anything sexual to my son but his teenage mates have turned it in to such and as a result I want her spoken to'

Slowknitter · 12/03/2019 16:23

It either sounds infantilised or sexualised, which is far from ideal. Why some people can't see that is completely beyond me.

There is no evidence whatsoever that it was being used in a 'sexualised' way. Everyone has agreed that it's a word often used about a younger child, but this is a) no big deal and b) may very well be quite applicable if this boy is behaving like a naughty little kid.

"Dear Headteacher,
The teacher of my (cheeky, bit of a pain) son called him naughty. Admittedly he is naughty, but I think this word is better suited to younger children."

Headteacher wants to say: "Dear Spotifyhero, different teachers express themselves in different ways. They also have to deal with umpteen annoying, arrogant toe-rags every day. The word the teacher used was not in any way offensive (unlike much of the language used by most boys your son's age).You'd be better off focussing on the behaviour of your son, rather than making lame criticisms of my patient, hard-working staff. But even though you are totally in the wrong, I guess I'd better have a word with the poor woman, because parents bad-mouthing the school causes problems."

MidwifeyForLifey · 12/03/2019 16:31

My immediate thought is it does sound a bit of by very most likely means 0.

However, then I think of a male teacher saying "You naughty girl" Confused Arghhh

Slowknitter · 12/03/2019 16:38

Yes but imagine it in an irritated, exasperated voice and it doesn't sound flirtatious at all. It's not a word I tend to use to kids I teach (of whatever age), but I assure you I could deliver it in full telling-off mode with no hint of 'sexualising' if I wanted to.

Samcro · 12/03/2019 16:42

i feel sorry for the teacher.

AryaStarkWolf · 12/03/2019 16:44

male is being a disrespectful arse so woman has to change her behaviour........that sounds familiar

Original poster
spotifyhero · 12/03/2019 16:44

I think there's a bit of misunderstanding of my intent here.
I am not contacting the school in order to suggest the teacher is being sexually inappropriate with my son - lol, i do not think anything of the sort.

I simply feel now that she is having a joke with DS, which is misjudged in this scenario. I want to inform the teacher that it has become sexualised due to the age of them, and maybe to lay off the "naughty boy" thing. If you were a teacher would you like to think a group of lads are having a laugh at home about getting turned on by you, due to something you're saying in the classroom? I just want to warn her how they have taken it. Is that so wrong?

I of course know I need to keep ds in line too and him not be "naughty" but there is not actually much evidence he is misbehaving. I am going to email or phone his head of year about is as a first port of call, to see what they think and if they do have any behavioural concerns. The head of year is usually very good at contacting if there is a concern though, which is why I don't think that's the case

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 12/03/2019 16:47

Well consider it the other way.

They are not asking her to change her behaviour.

Just asking what ds is doing to deal with it whilst informing her of ds mates and also ds behaviour as a result. It's information she can then take and do as she pleases with.

I'd hope she pulls them all in and says if anyone reports overhearing them twisting the situation and making sexual references about her intentionally they will have x consequence.

Slowknitter · 12/03/2019 16:55

male is being a disrespectful arse so woman has to change her behaviour........that sounds familiar

^This.

Swipe left for the next trending thread