to want a game free house some weekends?

[Dunin]

Just that really. I have 3 primary aged DSs and a computer game addicted DH. It’s constant apart from during the week when they watch YouTube videos of people playing games. I feel exhausted from it and as a non gamer it makes me feel lonely and left out. I didn’t have a family to be sat watching my kids play on the PlayStation all the time! Can anyone tell me what their routine at the weekend is please. For example, it’s friday night, if you’ve got primary aged boys, what are they doing right now?

I don't have primary aged children but could I suggest board games? Like monopoly where everyone can participate or go out on excursions swimming or camping hiking Zoo..

You're their mum, take the devices from them. tell your husband to stop ( I couldn't bear to be with a partner that put gaming above family) and go for a walk , get a board game out, go swimming .

Set boundaries. You’re the parent!!!!

My ds loves computer games and would play all day if I let him. But I don’t.

Yabu to want a full game free weekend. It's something they enjoy. Banning something they enjoy for a whole weekend isn't very fair.

However I would set game free time. For example ds (8) cant have his tablet in the car coming home from school so I get some sense out of him. He can have it whole I make tea. Then he has a bath and that's it. So I get time with him and we play cards, watch TV, play.

Cant you set something up like that as a regular thing, on weekends rather than and out and out ban?

Sorry you asked for routine.

Ds is playing on the computer games and dd is watching the iPad. At 6pm I’m going to take them off - they’ll grumble but they always do.

Weekends they go on screens for about an hour or so, then we go about our day and they might have more sessions but I make them take breaks.

Weekdays - only 3/5 days are screen days.

DS is watching TV, DD1 and I are on our phones, DD2 is at a playdate and DH is still at work. Pretty standard for 6pm on a Friday. There's no screens before 5pm.

DS has an hour Friday evening, after school and swimming.
Tomorrow he has an away rugby match, 1hr there and back on the coach, he'll take his psp and use it as much/as little as he likes.
Sunday we're all going to a schoolfriend's birthday barbeque so we'll be out 11-6, running around outside. He'll have an hour of Minecraft before dinner.
Nothing during the week.
DH doesn't game.
DS is 7yo.
Saturday night is always boardgame night, has been since he was 2yo.

You have a DH problem.

Ill add - this is quite late for screens. I make a point of making sure they’re not too close to bedtime but we’re having takeaway pizza so waiting for it to arrive! They’ve only been on since about 5

The issue I have is that playing games is all they want to do and because my husband is in the thick of it, it’s my lone voice (nag!) against them. I’m the fun destroyer if I want it off. It took ages and much arguing/conversations to get my DH to agree to a mon to Thursday after school ban and he only agreed to it when my smallest DS started wetting his pants while playing (rather than going to the toilet!). It’s been years of hassle with it and I’m not a gamer so I don’t “get it” and it’s at the stage where I’m pretty much just now ignored in the house unless they want food! Every Friday night/weekend is now game central. I’ve tried taking myself off out and doing other things but I’m quite depressed having to do that constantly to be honest or sit in another room watching tv on my own. What does everyone feel that a fair compromise is? They feel that because they can’t have it mon to Thursday that fri-sun is fair. It just means that the whole weekends are taken up with it. Interested to hear other people’s routines

My DH and DC love computer games too but no way are they playing all weekend. Screen time is limited. They'll usually play an hour or so in the morning then we'll get on with our day - go out somewhere or go in the garden. If we're staying in we'll do lego, board games, draw, kids just play some game among themselves etc. When we get home or at the end of the day they might do a bit more playing to veg out but not more than an hour.

DS is on the PlayStation and DD is on her 3ds. They went on at 5.30 and I’ll get them off at 6.30 as we’re heading out to a quiz night. Over the weekend they’ll both have some screen time but between sports matches and family commitments (dd has a party to go to and we have a family birthday meal too) their time will be short.
I can only suggest maybe to create some weekend routines like a walk through a local park to a cafe for a drink and a cake? That would get everyone together for something not screen related but a bit of a “treat” for the children too.

How does your use of MN/internet in general/TV stack up against their game time?

You and DH need to have a discussion about how much screen time is acceptable then he needs to enforce it (since he's the one encouraging them onto the games in the first place). So you play for an hour then get off.

Reading all the replies with interest

So it's already banned mon-Thursday and you want to ban a weekend as well.

Yeah I dont think that's good. Speak to dh and both of you set times on a weekend that is game free

I don’t really do technology so I spend about half an hour per day checking/replying to emails and maybe an hour once kids are in bed on mumsnet/TV. I’m normally very busy with school stuff/exercising/socialising/housework. I don’t do soaps or anything like that. So there’s nothing I watch on a “must see” basis (if that makes sense). To be honest, I only started using mumsnet out of loneliness a year or so ago as something to do when the kids are playing at the weekends.

Mine all play SIMs or FIFA together, and seeing as it’s me who doesn’t like it then I don’t make them switch it off to do something only I want to do.

I think if they’re all playing together, then there’s nothing morally superior about a board game.

We don’t sit in front on the PS4 all weekend tho.

As my post says, “some” weekends. I’m not asking for every weekend game free but it would be nice to have a life/weekends not completely dominated by it. To have a Friday eve where I get to choose what happens in the house. Bear in mind I’ve had many years of “game weekend house”. Am I asking too much and being unfair?

It sounds really fucking grim OP, I really feel for you. Dd is 8 and I've resisted buying a console so far, she hasn't shown much interest tbh though she does play things like roblox on the tablet. Saturday she has drama all morning till 12.30 then we'll have lunch, get out and about on bike /scooter. Maybe go down to the beach. Sat nights we play board games and watch a film or TV show the whole family can watch. Sundays are alot more relaxed, maybe go for a swim or out for lunch. She will watch netflix or play on the tablet but not for particularly long periods. What was life like for you before kids? Did your DH ignore you and play games all weekend then?

OH works saturdays but pretty much, he and I play Xbox together while the kids play Lego/ Kindle/ homework/ Xbox/ youtube/ reading/ eldest talks to friends from school/ art.

But we also drag ourselves out and I nag remind OH not to spend all his time on the Xbox. I also like to read and watch series of things.

We are on the list for a rehoming dog, and depending on the one we are allocated, will also change our routine.

Eldest DD also plays football on sat mornings, smallest DD likes to watch and play on the side.

You are not asking too much!
Make some new traditions!
Don’t any of them pls sports or have activities on weekends? I always find DDs matches a great excuse to get us up and out early, we choose different forests or beaches to walk ddog, go bowling, air hockey, board games at home, watching a film or a series we both love, make tie dye things etc.

I’m all about kids having down time but this sounds a bit excessive!

I also think you should try get into their games, they obviously really enjoy them so they’d surely love to teach you and it’s only fair to give their things a shot too. But moderation is key.

I have two boys who want to be on their devices at all times. But they are currently out playing football, at a training session. Also have lots of other activities after school and at weekend - football, cubs, swimming etc. Means they usually only have the time in between to play so it gets naturally limited. At weekends, we usually do a bike ride or walk or go and play tennis or something too. And try and do family board games if we’re home.

Ds5 is building lego. DD 8 is watching lego being built on YouTube. She might play x box for half an hour tomorrow (very child friendly game collecting coins). She's doing gymnastics club and DS is going to a party. They will both watch some TV as they're quite tired. DH is taking them out for the day on Sunday.

As a compromise could you let them game on a Thursday evening and insist that Saturday night is pizza and a movie or similar? No tech allowed.