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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD boyfriend

68 replies

Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 13:52

My Dd has a DP of 18 months, and we got card, and cake, but no present?

DD, DP is upset but we just feel we shouldn’t have to buy a present! At Christmas DD, DP got a present?

Don’t understand why it such a big deal?

OP posts:
Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 14:29

DD is 23
Boyfriend 30 own house cat dog.

I would assume his family get DD presents, but that shouldn’t set a precedent.

OP posts:
EveryYouEveryMe · 08/03/2019 14:29

I was expecting a teen at school not an adult working.

He is being a knobhead. You cant say 'I don't do family' then expect them to buy you a present.

Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 14:31

DD did say they all got presents from his family for DD birthday.

But boyfriend lives 10 minute walk from his sister, would assume they see her a lot.

OP posts:
Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 14:32

For argument sake, I think it to do with possibly a bad childhood, and he only chats to his sister.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 08/03/2019 14:32

So in 18mths you've met him 3/4 times, he doesn't come to family events as 'he doesn't do family' but expects a birthday present? He sounds like an immature idiot.

EveryYouEveryMe · 08/03/2019 14:33

OP, thats no excuse.I had a shitty childhood and I don't expect presents. I buy my own!

NoraEphronsneck · 08/03/2019 14:33

Well if he 'doesn't do family' then how can he object to you not buying him a present. He sounds like a selfish pain in the arse.

Numptysod · 08/03/2019 14:36

But you got him Christmas present, so doesn’t make much sense? Your DD get birthday/Christmas presents for her, does look odd?

Tbh I don’t like family events, i would go see them 1-2-1, has he got anxiety issues?

TinselAndKnickers · 08/03/2019 14:36

He's 30!!!!!! He needs to grow up. I thought he was going to be 17 or 18.

ChuckleBuckles · 08/03/2019 14:39

He sounds a little bit odd really, doesn't "do" family but expects presents from family.

Get him a Lego set as he is behaving like a small child.

diabeticsanon · 08/03/2019 14:40

let's hope she doesn't marry mr entitled or god forbid have a child with him, if he 'doesn't do family' he's a bit of a knob imo for using that expression even before the rest of his silly attitude.

Toooldtocareanymore · 08/03/2019 14:42

so what did your dd bf's parents do when it was her birthday? maybe the bf is assuming whatever his parents do is the norm

NunoGoncalves · 08/03/2019 14:42

Get him a Lego set as he is behaving like a small child

haha! Grin

Boysey45 · 08/03/2019 14:43

I wouldn't have got him anything, hes nothing to do with you.
If you have only seen him a handful of times and hes said he doesn't do family then why should you buy him stuff?
Tell your daughter to tell him where to go.

Troels · 08/03/2019 14:44

He's a knob. We aren't into gushing over birthdays for anyone in our house. Both my sons have partners (of 2-3 years) they live with, the partners got Christmas presents and for birthdays get a card in the post. No one gets upset.

nonetcurtains · 08/03/2019 14:46

Does he buy presents for you?

MakeItAmazing · 08/03/2019 14:47

Are you saying you didn't buy your daughters boyfriend a present and he is moaning to her about it ?

That is the issue here. Not whether you were unkind not to buy him one.

My sons girlfriend turned eighteen when they been together 3-4 months. We gave a card and a gift. Why wouldn't we? She's important to my son plus we really like her. Thank

Numptysod · 08/03/2019 14:50

My family we buy both Christmas/birthday, anniversary cards!

We bake cake when they’re visiting?

Maybe different family styles.

amusedbush · 08/03/2019 14:51

Fuck me, I thought you were going to say he was 17 but 30?? He sounds like an absolute arsehole, to be honest.

SirVixofVixHall · 08/03/2019 14:52

He sounds very high maintainance for a 23 year old medical student to put up with. What thirty year old man whinges about only getting a cake ? A birthday cake is a present ! He is ridiculously needy.

IHateUncleJamie · 08/03/2019 14:55

Does he buy presents for you?

I was just wondering this.

If not, then why would he be entitled to a present from you?

DemelzaPoldarksshinerrefiner · 08/03/2019 14:58

Oh he doesn’t ‘DO’ family but expects to be treated like family without any effort on his behalf. Does he buy any one who isn’t DD a gift ?

Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 14:59

The boyfriend family did get DD birthday and Christmas present!

OP posts:
Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 15:01

DD buy us presents
And boyfriend does his own family.

The cake was shop bought from Waitrose only small but still better than every day cake!

OP posts:
Greysmanicfan41 · 08/03/2019 15:02

Recently he had been coming for coffee and playing with my DS kids so suppose I’d becoming more involved since just before Christmas!

OP posts:
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