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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU not to pay her?

56 replies

FattyFatCakes · 07/03/2019 17:37

I was due to be out for several hours today so I gave my two dogs a long walk before I left and then arranged for my neighbour’s mother’s help to pop in to check on them at lunchtime. The friend pays £10 p/h and suggested I give her £5 so I left this in an envelope for her.

At lunchtime I received a phone call from this lady saying ‘there’s been a problem, your dog has run away’. Apparently he didn’t want to go back inside when she called him so she tried to catch him (“chased him round the garden”) at which point he bolted. I pointed out that our garden is completely dog proof so he couldn’t possibly have escaped unless she had opened a gate and she then said he might be hiding. She said she had opened the gate to walk up the lane to see if she could find him but there was no sign so she left.
I told her that I was sure he must still be in the garden and she said she would pop back on her way home to see if she could see him. Sure enough, 10 mins later she messaged me to say he was there. I apologised for the inconvenience, thanked her and said I would get back as soon as I could.

I cut short my day out and raced home to let my dog in. The lady had left me a note saying I owe her another £5 so AIBU not to pay her?

My dogs have been walked / looked after by various people over the years and I have never had an issue before. Clearly I won’t be asking this person to help in the future so I’m not too worried about offending her but I’m wondering if it’s morally wrong not to pay her the extra £5?

Thank you!

OP posts:

Perch · 07/03/2019 18:45

I’d give her £5 but never ask her again.

Warmhandscoldheart · 07/03/2019 18:47

Lesson learnt. Next time you need someone to let your dog's out ask a person they know. And when making a financial agreement do it with the actual person not a third party

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2019 18:57

In the beginning I thought she was a cf. However it sounds as though your dog wouldn’t come in the house. She doesn’t know your dogs. Did you leave instructions or explain how to get the dogs to come in? If you didn’t you’re responsible tbh. My dog is a nightmare to get in because he loves being outside. Our previous dog had to be bribed to go out.

bmbonanza · 07/03/2019 18:58

I'd be asking the cheeky fekker for my £5 back seeing as she didnt do what she was paid to do which was let the dogs out and then put them safely back in again.

BollocksToBrexit · 07/03/2019 19:05

Sorry I know it's not the point of the thread, but I'm well tickled at the image of your dog legging it around the garden to get away from her and then hiding. My dog would have done the same because he's a little bastard.

cansu · 07/03/2019 19:08

I suppose you need to think about how much time was spent at your house looking for dog etc. I would also think about the convenience of being able to ask this woman to let dog out. If this doesn't matter to you, then don't pay her. Of course you will no longer be able to ask her to help you out when you are stuck in the future. Sometimes it is worth it to have someone on the list of possible helpers for the future.

yesyesyep · 07/03/2019 19:08

I don't understand why you apologised to her for the inconvenience? She rang you up, worried the heck out of you needlessly, made you cut your day short and didn't do a decent job?

Also, please explain to me why she left your dog after she thought it ran off. Did she not care? Did she sound apathetic? I would have seriously worries about someone who worked with dogs being so happy to dismiss it as 'oh well. Dogs run off, next job!'

I would pay, because I'm rubbish at confrontation and I always feel bad when I complain. But in this case, if the above is all true, I don't think you should pay. She went back for her own mistake, not yours.

junebirthdaygirl · 07/03/2019 19:12

I'm the last thing on earth that woman wanted to do was look after the dog but did it to oblige. Then it turned into a drama which caused her stress and cost her more time. I think pay her the 5 as you may well need her again. Its not much money and acknowledges her efforts.

CallMeRachel · 07/03/2019 19:15

I don't think many posters have actually understood that the woman is not a professional dog walker or pet sitter she is the next door neighbours hired help ie nanny or au pair ffs!!!!

It's a fiver ffs. Dogs can be unpredictable, how can you jump to the conclusion that 'she must have scared him away'?

The dog took the piss.

The OP's dog, which had never met this poor woman before. The poor woman had no idea what she was getting herself into and didn't have familiarity of her garden at all.

I really don't think she can be criticised at all for calling the op and reporting her dog missing!! She'd be criticised if she didn't phone and the dog was running around the streets! What was she supposed to do??

She was put in a ridiculous situation and none of this is her fault. A fiver, pfft.

Mean and horrible attitude to have.

Binglebong · 07/03/2019 19:23

I would hate paying her extra but I think I would to avoid difficulties with your neighbour. There will be moaning, guaranteed.

Candymay · 07/03/2019 19:32

I think OP means the original suggested 5£ and not an extra 5£ for going back. Am I correct?

If so I think it’s incredibly mean and entitled to refuse to pay anything to someone who has worked for you.

The dog’s behaviour was unpredictable. I’m sure she wishes she had not taken you up on the job that turned out to be very stressful for her.

But you now suggest she should not receive the miserly 5£ and you are implying that you are referring to a further payment rather than the only payment. Because of this avoidance and vagueness I infer that OP knows she is being cheeky.

Original poster

FattyFatCakes · 07/03/2019 19:38

Ok I think I will pay as plenty of people think it’s the right thing to do. I would never ask her to help with my dogs again (let alone my children!) so I’m not bothered about that relationship but I don’t want to make things awkward with my neighbour.

Rachel I’m not jumping to any conclusions - she told me that she had chased the dog around the garden much to her anausement but then realised she had frightened him at which point he “bolted”. I found it quite disconcerting to hear that my dog had escaped when I was 45 mins away and couldn’t do anything about it and had to keep reassuring myself that she must be mistaken as I know our garden is dog proof. I also found it strange that she went back to the neighbours house before ringing me - if she had called from my house I could have explained that he hadn’t escaped and she wouldn’t have needed to go back again.

OP posts:

Original poster

FattyFatCakes · 07/03/2019 19:40

Candy I had already paid £5 and she is asking for an extra £5. Everyone else understood my post.

OP posts:

Drogosnextwife · 07/03/2019 19:41

Sorry I thought in your OP your neighbour suggested you give her a fiver but your neighbour pays this woman £10, why is it half price for you?

Original poster

FattyFatCakes · 07/03/2019 19:47

My neighbour pays her £10 per hour and suggested that I give her £5 to pop next door, let the dogs out and pop back again. It should’ve been a 5 minute job. Actually thinking about it, my neighbour is the one who missed out because she paid for her to help at home while she was chasing my dog around the garden!

OP posts:

SunnyCoco · 07/03/2019 19:47

Yes I would pay the extra £5

She was trying to help you out and it turned into a palaver
Nobody's fault but I think it would be the kind thing to do as it did end up taking her longer than you both expected

Mummymummums · 07/03/2019 20:02

I wouldn't pay her. She was being paid by your neighbour for that time. The £5 was a bonus but at no point during the shenanigans was she unpaid.
I'd ask her what the extra £5 is for. There's an answer to whatever she says.

Di11y · 07/03/2019 20:10

assuming the return visit was on your neighbours time I'd not pay. she obviously wasn't supervising the dog properly.

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/03/2019 20:10

So she's already being paid for this time by your neighbour...

No, would not give her another fiver!

Original poster

FattyFatCakes · 07/03/2019 20:16

The chasing around was on my neighbour’s time but she popped in again on her way home (ie after she’d finished her shift at neighbour’s) so that was on her own time I guess. This is getting very complicated! I’ll just pay her the money!

OP posts:

Original poster

FattyFatCakes · 07/03/2019 20:21

Bollocks ungrateful mutt He was bloody pleased to see me after sitting outside for an hour in the rain!

OP posts:

Handprints2018 · 07/03/2019 20:32

No way would i pay her more.

pineappletower · 07/03/2019 20:46

I agree with the PP who said to ask what the extra money was for. Be interesting to see what she says and you can gauge whether you should give it to her or not!

miranda1511 · 07/03/2019 20:52

I'd give her the £5 and put it down to experience. Life's too short x

Treaclesweet · 07/03/2019 20:57

Definitely pay her. People do not owe you their time just because your dog is naughty!

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