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AIBU?

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Original poster

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40 replies

pepguardi · 07/03/2019 17:20

My LO is almost 2.

All of a sudden he's being incredibly naughty and dare I say it, difficult to look after. When he's told no, he goes into full tantrum mode. When he's told off, he just frowns and doesn't look phased.

The last week the nursery has told me how difficult he's been, hitting other child, generally causing trouble and not listening to instructions or being told off.

He comes home and whinges until bedtime, he throws his toys and pulls my hair.

I don't know what to do. How do I discipline a child this age and get him to understand what is wrong? I'm mortified and feel like I've caused this by doing something wrong

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Original poster
pepguardi · 07/03/2019 17:21

I'm absolutely dreading the weekend and spending two full days with him!

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PuzzlingPuzzle · 07/03/2019 17:30

I don’t think I’d that unusal for a young toddler, have the nursery given any indication that they’re concerned about his behaviour? I’d also them how they deal with it because consistency is good but usually I’d say a firm no, a reminder to use gentle hands and redirect to another activity.

Original poster
pepguardi · 07/03/2019 18:30

No they've only just raised it and said that it's probably just a phase but I just don't know how to deal with it!

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Original poster
pepguardi · 07/03/2019 20:30

Hopeful bump!

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nattynoonoo821 · 07/03/2019 21:01

i reccommend a book called how to talk so little kids will listen. helped me to deescalate a lot of issues with my 2 year old.

Graphista · 07/03/2019 21:05

What do you do when he's misbehaving/misbehaved?

Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 06:52

Throwing toys across the room in a rage because he's beeen told not to climb on the coffee table, pulling my hair, throwing tantrums and kicking because he needs changed. It's not just isolated behavior a couple of times a day, he's just in a constant whinge ALL day every day.

His sleeping pattern is changing too. He's gone from sleeping all night til about 7 to waking at 5 for the day

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diabeticsanon · 08/03/2019 06:59

any changes of routine that have upset him ? can dad / family get on board more to give you a break ? i would try to get ds out to the park or something similar to run off some energy, that might help him sleep better. are there any medical conditions ?
a lot of terrible twos go through it and come out the other side but it is difficult.

WhiteDust · 08/03/2019 07:01

You say this has happened all of a sudden? So he behaved/slept well before?
I would ask more questions at nursery - is everything generally ok there? Has the change been as sudden?
Make an appointment at the doctors.

Jackshouse · 08/03/2019 07:10

I second the book. Maybe he is tired which is making it worse. Is something disrubing his sleep? Does he need a black out blind? Does he have all his teeth yet?

Does he still nap? How is this nap?

But I agree it sounds pretty normal. You need to find a way to deal with it that’s best your child. For DD I just sit on the floor and wait it out and later when she has calmed down and started playing again she will chat about what happened. For her any intervention say I know your sad or trying distracted makes it worse.

When he is fine try to teach techniques for deals with emotions. We use the how do you feel today song from sing and sign.

Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:15

Yes. Since soon before he turned one he was sleeping through from 7:30 to about 7am.

Generally well behaved with the odd (expected) blip along the way. Nursery have reassured me this is very out of character for him, but also very typical for his age.

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Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:16

And sorry, no medical conditions!

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Jackshouse · 08/03/2019 07:16

Is he going down for his nap ok?

Jackshouse · 08/03/2019 07:17

All teeth in?

Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:20

No, he's still got some of his back teeth to come in.

In terms of naps, he's not very consistent when at childcare as I think he's too distracted to want a nap.

On a weekend at home, he's a good napper. Normally about 1.5 hours around midday. Although we find it difficult to get him to nap anywhere other than in his cot (even pushing about in his pushchair doesn't work!). We try to plan our day around his nap so he isn't grouchy

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Scotsrule · 08/03/2019 07:21

Contact your local authority and ask if they offer any parenting programmes. I would look for 123 magic or family nurture.

Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:22

I definitely think tiredness is an element as he fell asleep at his high chair last night which he has never ever done previously

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Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:24

And I think a lot maybe attention as he screams when I leave the room and don't take him with me (he does that to his dad too)

Sorry if I'm drip feeding, just more is coming to me!

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Aroseby · 08/03/2019 07:25

I'd say he's probably going through a growth spurt/leap, hence his sleep changing, and being tired leads to being out of sorts which manifests as tantrums/hitting/throwing. My little boy is 3 and has always been the same- every few weeks we have a dip in behaviour and then he's got new skills or is an inch taller and back to his normal self. It's just about weathering the storm and continuing not to allow destructive behaviour, using whatever methods work for you.

Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:29

Thanks. That's definitely the challenge for me, figuring out how to deal with it so he knows it's wrong.

Just thought of another! He takes a tantrum sometimes when going in the car seat and/or pushchair

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averythinline · 08/03/2019 07:37

its not called the terrible twos for nothing! I think there is quite a development leap at 2 - and also more frustration as they know more but maybe dont have the words for it.. - hows his speach developing?

I really liked how to talk book but think for slightly older ....123 magic good and would also recommend approaching your local children centre for parenting courses for ideas.....

its can be tricky to work out an approach - is he likely to go for rewards? (maybe bit young ) but staying calm and being consistent.... always praise good behaviour....check hunger/tiredness/thirsty 1st thing

HoraceCope · 08/03/2019 07:37

so very normal op.
try and be positive.
be happy and encourage good behaviour

HoraceCope · 08/03/2019 07:41

he is not a robot, he is stamping his own personality on things.

Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:45

Yeah I think he's a bit young for a rewards system but great ideas though!

I try to involve him as much as I can. Example, when I'm loading the washing machine I let him help put the clothes in and press the buttons to turn it on. Or when I'm sweeping, he helps with the dustpan and brush etc. He really gets excited and feels important!

Speech wise I think I may be a bit biased (and I don't really have anyone to compare him to) but I feel like he's excellent. He knows loads of words and "short" sentences. Examples "where's dad" "there's the car car" "there's the cat" "who is / what is that". He knows words like "bath" which he shouts in excitement before bed 😂. He knows basics like granddad/mum/dad/yes/no etc etc

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Original poster
pepguardi · 08/03/2019 07:46

Although a dog is a "woof woof" hahaha!

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