To ask for help

[pepguardi]

My LO is almost 2.

All of a sudden he's being incredibly naughty and dare I say it, difficult to look after. When he's told no, he goes into full tantrum mode. When he's told off, he just frowns and doesn't look phased.

The last week the nursery has told me how difficult he's been, hitting other child, generally causing trouble and not listening to instructions or being told off.

He comes home and whinges until bedtime, he throws his toys and pulls my hair.

I don't know what to do. How do I discipline a child this age and get him to understand what is wrong? I'm mortified and feel like I've caused this by doing something wrong

Firstly I just want to say it's not your fault and you aren't doing anything wrong.
I think the key is to be persistent, if you say no to something and he throws a tantrum, stand your ground and make sure everyone that looks after him does the same, then he'll come to realise that there's no point throwing a tantrum as it's not going to make you change your mind. If he understands enough, also explain this point to him when the tantrum is over.
With the throwing of toys, I find consequential discipline works best with this. If he throws a toy, tell him he can't throw his toys and now you have to put it away. Pick up the toy he threw away and put it away somewhere that he can't get it. Same applies if you are playing a game together and he gets mad or angry, warn him that if he gets mad when he plays the game then you have to take the game away. Then if he goes ahead and gets angry, take the game away.
I know he might seem a little young to understand but I've been where you are and these tips have worked for me.. good luck

@Nathansmommy1 thank you. I think that's definitely helpful as very similarly, he shoved a child at softplay last weekend and I packed up and took him straight home. So I'm definitely going to take that on board.

You're correct consistency is key!

And sorry just another thing, ds used to follow me everywhere around the house and it was driving me mad. We used a reward chart for this alone, I printed one off Google with 20 stars that we coloured in, before we started I let him pick a toy from the argos catalogue and we cut it out and stuck it on the bottom so he could constantly see the reward he had chosen. Then before I left the room I would just say, I'm going to the toilet, I'l be back in a minute, if you stay here then you will get another star. He actually got the whole idea really quickly, and it broke the habit of him following me everywhere so it might be worth trying to see if yours would be ready for that yet... also a point I never knew was that you should never take stars away from them for bad behaviour, discipline needs to be separate from rewards

He is not even 2,
just be cheerful and positive, dont get hung up on discipline

I'm not getting up hung up on discipline, I'm simply trying to ask for tips on how to deal with his challenging behaviour...

He could be tired, does he chill?

Do other children hit at nursery? It could be learned behaviour

Might be worth keeping a note of his behaviour - tiredness, hunger/thirst, needing to poo etc can all trigger a short fuse. He may not easily be able to identify or articulate what the issue is. Try distraction techniques when you sense something is brewing, remove form room or find something else to do

World war 3 started earlier when I needed to change his nappy. It's basics like this I'm struggling with. I HAVE to change him and he's making it impossible, kicking, screaming, rolling around. It's a nightmare

Do you give him something to play with while you do it? Such behaviour is normal though.

I try but 80% he just throws it and continues screaming

Ignore the screaming and keep calm. He is frustrated because you are restricting his movement but just carry on talking or singing in a calm way while you do it.

oh I remember having to almost pin DS down for a nappy change....staying calm is the key even if you want to scream! singing is a good idea (although my ds would askk me to stop as it sounded bad :) maybe something interactive - like 10 green bottles but not with actions..
his speach does sound good - although you may just start hearing NO a lot too......selctive deafness on your behalf.....
fresh air and exercise also key ....the more and 2yr old runs around the better - but you are right poor behaviour and go home...

is there anything calm he lilkes ? story time ,...we woudl often walk to the library (the long way) story then long walk back...DS not inteested in anything crafty ever but loved sitting on my lap and reading stories...once he knew had time then was happier to go and play by himself for a bit ..
he did like a routine at that age....can you try a visiual timetable with him ....then he will know whats coming next etc....

For nappy changes I used to do it in front of the TV or let DD watch Ceebies on my phone if we were out of the house. I thought she won’t be in nappies forever so is not a bad habit that I need to worry about.

Yea! Avery he LOVES story time. We read the same one over and over and he hates story time being over!

I normally sing to him when changing his nappy or getting him dressed. He's got a bit of eczema so morning/bedtime dressing takes a bit longer and he's got lots of cream to be applied.

Thanks so much for the tips everyone