*Triggering* Death from Pneumonia

[Tink2007]

Triggering and probably not the place but posting for traffic:

Has anyone experienced the loss of someone from pneumonia?

Was the death peaceful or was it horrible? What happened? Trying to prepare myself

Daniel, no it isn't. The cause of death is quite specific.
For instance, my DF died from a massive internal bleed (including vomiting up his own blood), which ultimately caused his blood pressure to drop to the point where his heart could no longer pump the little blood remaining around his body. He had pancreatic cancer. It was given as the reason on his death certificate.
You might like to educate yourself a little further before making such sweeping statements.
Tink, I believe (I don't know for a fact) that many patients with severe pneumonia can pass relatively peacefully. I hope that will be the case for whoever you are thinking of.

My stepfather died of pneumonia, after only being ill for a week or so. He was in intensive care and mum and I had to make the horrendous decision to turn off his life support. For him the end was very peaceful though...

Sorry for your pain ❤️

To add, sorry you are going through this Tink.

@tink2007 so sorry you and your grandad. My grandad passed away in July last year after a long time being poorly. Suffered with breathing diffculities and then had pneumonia. Excellent palliative care meant that he passed peacefully at home with my Nan and mum. I was worried for months about what it would be like ‘in the end’ and I didn’t want him gasping for his final breaths but he didn’t. Just passed peacefully with my Nan by his side. It was honestly the best outcome we could have asked for at that stage.

You have my deepest sympathy

@cupofteaplease sorry for your loss

Tink2007 please don’t feel bad for bringing this subject up, I actually think it’s so important to talk about the reality of death as it’s rarely discussed. Personally I’m very happy to share my experience of my dad’s death if it helps others. I wish you well and hope you have support around you. 💜

Hi @Tink2007 - this is what saw my Mum off just after Christmas. It was very peaceful and the hospital staff assured us that she was in no discomfort. I have come to the conclusion that there are far worse ways to go.

One last thing. We were offered the opportunity to view the body. I knew as soon as I’d heard he’d died that I did NOT want to do that as I knew it would traumatise me and I didn’t want that to be my lasting memory of my father

@destinysdaughter spot on it’s extremly important to talk about death. Especially if you can with those who have been through it. People often feel bad for bringing it up but it’s actually an effective coping strategy.

@cupofteaplease - I’m so sorry for your loss.

OP - my Dad died of pneumonia. He had been in hospital for a while after a fall when he got it. He was ventilated for a couple of days which a more senior consultant later said shouldn’t have happened. When he was taken off he died within a few hours. It was quite peaceful and there was no death rattle.

Yes my dad did & at the end the hospital had him peacefully controlled with meds & he just slipped away. Talk to the staff about your fears & concerns they will be able to put your mind at rest. Sorry you are having to go through this xx

My dad died of pneumonia last year. He had been in hospital for a couple of days before and was kept on an oxygen mask but the level of oxygen in his blood kept dropping. Eventually he slipped into a coma and died about 12 hours later. It was very peaceful, no death rattle, no struggle. He was breathing slowly but all of a sudden I just knew that he had taken his last breath and he just slipped away. I miss him so much.

Tink thinking of you

a very peaceful end for my DH - just slept away over about 3 days. It is as good a way to go as any, IMO. Hope it is as peaceful and pain free for your grandad OP

It got my grandma in the end, a blessing really, Alzheimer's and lots of falls and unpleasant incidents, her life wasn't worth living in the end

Essay alert!

Never meant my post to be so long, but this thread just hit on a nerve. Things I haven't thought about for a while ....

..........................

My lovely neighbour Jan - fit, cycled everywhere, fantastic gardener, wore bright red lippy and had bright red hair, and wore great clothes and was just one of the nicest, kindest people I have ever known, died in her front room of pneumonia.

She'd had swollen ankles a few days before, and the last time I saw her (three days before she died) she was showing me photos on her phone of her newly born grand-daughter.

I went away on holiday and got a phone call from another neighbour. Her daughter had come to visit in the morning and found her dead on the sofa.

..........................

My mum had dementia but her cause of death was pneumonia. We were told around 6am on the Friday morning that she was dying and she passed at 2.50am on the Sunday morning. It was traumatic because of course it's all about the breathing. To hear every single breath of someone you love, knowing they are going to die soon is one of the most distressing things. You sit there hour after hour just listening to them breathe.

But for all that she was in a clean bed in a warm, caring environment surrounded by her family and greatly loved and cared for. I cannot fault the care she received.

Family had been coming in night and day before she died, but it ended up with just me and her in the early hours. Even the nursing staff had gone for a nap. I'd been up for 48 hours. I was so utterly exhausted, I knew I had to try and sleep so I tidied up the room (my mum hated clutter), turned off the music (we'd had a tape of her favourite songs playing), pulled my chair up next to her bed, laid myself down, held her hand and said 'Mum, it's Font I'm here' and then laid down beside her and attempted to get some sleep. Within five minutes she died.

This is likely to be the story of my MIL. She is nearly 90, and not in good health. But the in-between bits are painful for us all; she is not enjoying what time remains to her and supporting her is hard going for her family. The last intervention was one she would ( a few months ago) have said, "no, thanks" to. Everyone is on tenterhooks, because death is waiting for her.

UrsulaPandress yes I am Bea’s mum. Great memory

OP, I’m sorry for you and your grandad x

My mum died of pneumonia following a fall and hip fracture. I (and other family members) were with her all of the time from when the hospital called us to say that she wouldn't recover to when she took her last breath about 2 and a half days later.

She wasn't conscious and her breathing was quite noisy at times. It was upsetting but not distressing. Staff were wonderful with her and with us and it was very dignified and peaceful. Although sitting with my beloved mum while she died was hard it was also a huge privilege. I'm not as scared of death now.

I'm sorry that you are going through this and wish you and your grandad peace xx

I've never forgotten you. Or the gorgeous Bea.

@cupofteaplease
I remember beautiful Bea so well . Sending love and butterflies x

@tink2007
My darling dad went peacefully with me holding his hand and not even sure when the exact moment was .
I hope this brings you solace .

Cupoftea, I remember beautiful Bea. 🦋

OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I hope you can take comfort from this thread.

Thank you lovely ladies x

Sorry to hear you're going through that. That is how my mother passed away, but thankfully for her she was unconscious most of the time. Thinking of you. xx

@cupofteaplease I remember your three girls so well, especially Bea's beautiful wee face. I hope your family is well.

@Tink2007 I hope you and your family can get through this really hard time