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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn down a job offer based on this requirement

61 replies

autrejour · 06/03/2019 11:30

I have been offered a job where I am required to do some driving in Europe ( 2- 3 hr journeys). There are no other options as sites are in very remote locations so no trains or taxis. I am a very nervous driver and the thought of driving on the wrong side by myself really puts me off.
I also have another offer and currently trying to weigh the pros and cons of both jobs .
Am I unreasonable to even think this will be a problem and worry about it or should I just get a grip and think I’ll be fine.

OP posts:
OhTheRoses · 06/03/2019 12:20

Why don't you book a chunnel return and get the feel for it. Then you will be able to make an informed decision and hopefully have no regrets either way.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 06/03/2019 12:22

Maybe do an advanced driver course? It’s ridiculous for something so small to have such a big impact on your life. You can do it, you may just need a little extra help.

Bluntness100 · 06/03/2019 12:23

I understand this, as we lived abroad for a few years and for the first six months I was there on my own, and had to drive daily. It did take a bit of getting used to, my anxiety about it was worse than the reality, and when we came back I also drove back over from the uk on my own several times.

I wouldn't turn a job down over it, but maybe do as I did, have a colleague in the car the first time you do it, Just for a fifteen min drive around.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 06/03/2019 12:24

Its what Sat Navs were made for! Just follow the Nav. I really believe if you are an OK driver here, you will be an OK driver there.

I was a nervous driver, a complete chicken in fact, but have due to necessity driven from Calais to South of France, in Switzerland, Italy and Portgual. And all have proved easier than London in peak traffic.

And as previous poster said brand new hire cars are easier. If you can get an automatic in particular, it would give you more time to assess what you needed to do at junctions etc.

I particularly hated the thought of a) French roundabouts and b) overtaking on a narrow motorway on the wrong side. But actually once I was there and doing it, I found my brain naturally switched and the hardest thing was coming off the ferry at Dover and remembering not to go the wrong way around the round about there.
If transport is not great, it probably means more remote and therefore a lot less traffic
If you feel nervous. Look up the route and study it beforehand so that there are no surprises and also look at the RAC and AA guides to driving in that particular country so that you don't get caught unawares. I had a miles to KM post it note on the dash so I'd have a better idea of what speed/distance, but didn't need it afterthe first day.
Also a quick trip to Europe as Matilda said with a helpful driver would probably make up your mind. Good Luck!

SheeshazAZ09 · 06/03/2019 12:28

A suggestion, if you really would love this job: book into a hotel for a few days' visit to the country/area and book some driving lessons with an instructor who speaks good English. I predict you will soon get over your fears and realise that it is not worth turning down an otherwise good job based on this anxiety, which is just due to unfamiliarity.

DogInATent · 06/03/2019 12:31

Driving in Europe is easier than you think. For a start, the motorway system is generally far better than the UK (at least in the Netherlands and Germany, which is where I go most often). It's rare for a 3 hr journey to need more than 10-20 minutes of driving to get too/from the motorway at either end. Signage is usually very good, and a decent satnav with lane guidance helps (I advise against using Sygic as satnav in Europe - it's a bit last minute with lane guidance).

LHD is quite straightforward, you could request an automatic but gear changes come naturally quite quickly. Just remember the handbrake when parking - it's what catches me out most often.

buttertoff33 · 06/03/2019 12:34

only you judge your driving skills. I have been living in the UK for almost 20 years but come from mainland Europe and got my driving licence there. I drove there many years. I am driving here now and tried to get a few times behind the wheel in Europe. Not sure what the issue is but my brain doesn't do this switch. For some it is easy, for others less so. For me it would be a deal breaker.

thedisorganisedmum · 06/03/2019 12:34

Of course you can get taxis and drivers anywhere in the world

but

are you prepared to pay for them? It's not up to your company, they have to pay for your hire car, but not much more.

I would investigate an advanced driver course first.

Blinkingblimey · 06/03/2019 12:46

I was also really nervous of driving in Europe - didn’t do it until I was 35, even having lived there for a few years!!...however one holiday dh injured his leg and was unable to drive and I had no choice. It was honestly far easier than I imagined and with the bonus of automatics and sat nav I’m sure you’d be fine!! Where do you live? If you’re anywhere near Kent could you jump on the Chunnel at the W/e with a friend to give it a go?!

NCforthis2019 · 06/03/2019 12:54

@WinterHeatWave whats wrong with driving in SA or Malaysia?

OP - itss be fine, you need to get used to it a little, i would advise refresher lesson and if you feel uncomfortable after that, then you can reconsider.

Motheroffourdragons · 06/03/2019 12:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ to protect the privacy of the user.

Shamoo · 06/03/2019 12:55

I was so nervous about driving in America because I was worried I wouldn’t know how to do certain manoeuvres (in particular turns across traffic on dual carriageways) but my friend gave me a brilliant piece of advice: assuming you are driving in a car that was made for the county you are driving in, your seat in the car should always be in the middle of the road (ie as between you and the passenger seat, you should always be closest to the middle/other side of the road). This allowed me to always visualise where I should be wherever I was driving. Made it so simple and never had an issue.

Justaboy · 06/03/2019 13:08

It's not as difficult as you think it might be as everyone else is on the "wrong side of the road"!

I've two young daughters who have driven over there en France and neither of them have had any problems at all in fact they like it! In some ways France and Germany are more car centric that what we in the UK are they have some excllent roads the Autobhans and the french Autoroutes are fine tho you have to pay the peage "Toll fee" for them.

Even remote bits of france aren't a problem in fact I'd look upon it as a bit of a busmans holliday some veiws up in the alps for instance are stunning:)

Go on enjoy yourself!

ClownpantsKate · 06/03/2019 13:21

Automatic car makes it easier.

MadameDD · 06/03/2019 13:32

surprisingly easy to drive on continent, I've driven in France for years.

in an automatic car it's easy, no gears! Although roads are emptier you do have to watch for 3 or 4 cars overtaking you at 70mph on hairpin bends - seen it happen - but French traffic police seem to be hot on policing on that kind of thing.

It is a nightmare driving in Paris etc - sometimes drive to airport in Bordeaux to drop off/collect people and that can be quite scary.

But signposts are fairly easy to read and most other drivers are sensibleish.

Aridane · 06/03/2019 13:43

Personally I wouldn't want to do all that driving so I don't think YABU. Unless that particular job is amazing and head and shoulders above the other one

TatianaLarina · 06/03/2019 13:59

Sounds like the other job may be better suited to you.

Some people are just anxious drivers.

WinterHeatWave · 06/03/2019 13:59

To those who asked: Malaysia, because after an 8 hr day at work, followed by 3 flights, I was in no fit state to drive for 90 mins.
SA: because the routes needed were, to me, through scary areas that I didnt want to do on my own. Factories have a habit of not being located next to the nicest areas of town.

waterrat · 06/03/2019 14:03

I sympathise OP as I feel the same about driving - I recently got into a total panic about some otherwise very interesting work because it involved picking up a hire car and driving on motorways - in the uk! I will avoid long drives wherever possible.

I think it's understandable to turn the work down and I probably would myself. However - have you thought of having more lessons - doing passplus for example or paying an instructor to come with you to Calais and practice on the other side of the road?

caringcarer · 06/03/2019 14:08

If you are in a hire car in EU then it will be easier to drive in Europe as driver seat on other side of car. Get a Sat Nav that shows which lane you should be in when more than one option. I used to be a bit nervous of driving in EU in UK car but with Sat Nav showing which lane I should be in I find it OK now. Also the more you do it the more confident you feel. Is there anyone who could sit with you the first time you have to drive in EU?

Antonin · 06/03/2019 14:09

I’m sure it won’t take long to get used to it. As another poster suggested, get in some practice before y.ou start the job. I changed countries and was driving on motorways and London within weeks coming from a place with only dual carriageways at most. I’d happily drive in Europe if I was younger as public transport outside cities is so poor. You will feel on top of the world having mastered right side driving and having a great job.
Good luck

YellowFish123 · 06/03/2019 14:48

I'm surprised to see other posters suggesting taxis. I'm a company director and senior manager, and I certainly wouldn't allow any funds to be spent on taxis just because a staff member couldn't be bothered to drive. They'd simply be told to get on with it or get out the door at my place so we could employ someone willing to do their job.

AuntieOxident · 06/03/2019 15:37

Yet more unhelpful and pointless information about working conditions at the Yellowfish Gulag.

BlueSkiesLies · 06/03/2019 15:45

I'm a company director and senior manager

Which are you? A director? Or a senior manager?

Has your daily dose of bullshitium?

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 06/03/2019 18:43

I am a bit nervy in the uk but am quite alright abroad.

Automatic helps MASSIVELY.

Where are you driving?
Driving in europe would depend for me...
Paris or Barcelona Confused
Germany, nordics, rural France - pretty fine and I’d def have a go/get on with it if I loved the job...

I wouldn’t write it off if you aren’t a regular driver as you find your feet quite quickly