Husband offended

[pancakes22]

Husband singing three blind mice earlier to DD. I got the giggles as he got the tune wrong. He then refused to sing anymore to her. When I said to him that he overreacted he has said that he is really offended that I would laugh at him rather than with him and that he is really paranoid now and won't ever sing a tune he doesn't know.

I mean... come on. Seriously? AIBU that this is really petty? Or actually have I been a bit cruel and you think this is a genuine reason to be offended?

“wasn't thinking of this thread specifically, just your posting style in general“

Ah. Well, you c&p a post where I have been unkind, and then we’ll talk.

Well unless he's generally really over sensitive then either you touched a nerve about his bad singing voice or you were laughing in an unpleasant way rather than a loving, joking way. Unless he's always super sensitive and assuming this is someone you actually love surely you just apologise?

I'm mostly amazed the the OP asked if she was being unreasonable, some said yes, so she said oops can see your point.

I'm so used to these threads where the OP immediately becomes defensive and tells everyone they're wrong (complete with some ridiculously long drip feed). Well done OP. Giggling or not you're a good, mature person

YWBU. I am hard to offend and I would be offended at that too, TBH.

I think from the mixed response this really does depend on your relationship with DH. In mine we always joke about and take the p*ss out of everything, nothing is serious though. Is this normal for you OP or did it come across as serious and belittling? Only you know your own relationship, and only he knows why it hurt. I would sit down and apologise and explain it was just in jest and find the reason it hurt him

I know it isn't the same but my sister often sings and does all the actions with my niece. She can't sing for toffee but who cares, her child loves it. She once handed her to me and said "Auntie Seren will sing this one with you". I also can't sing for toffee and was very embarrassed but I did it because I love my niece. I'd have been mortified if someone laughed at me when I was trying to entertain a child Iove. Overreaction maybe but I can see why it stung.

i think particularly men when embaressed get huffy.
im oversensitive and would be mortified too.if it was to dp I don't think id like to take offense but I don't know that.depends on the day!
so I cant berate him just because he is male.

Is it part of a bigger picture? My ex used to criticise EVERYTHING I did but in a way I didn’t fully realise for years.

It does sound like you've inadvertently touched a nerve. Say sorry and ask him why it upset him so much.

This would be one of those moments to chuckle to yourself, what benefit was there to broadcasting your negativity?

A thread where a man is upset and the consensus is that he should get over it.

Does no-one else link this to why men don't show their feelings?

... why do people post and then disappear?

My community singing group is full of people who have been treated like this by others in the past. I used to laugh it off when people said the same to me but it actually really hurt

@Niveous

“wasn't thinking of this thread specifically, just your posting style in general“

Ah. Well, you c&p a post where I have been unkind, and then we’ll talk.

Eh?! Where has this come from? I've never seen an unkind post from @BertrandRussell ! Have you mistaken her for someone else?

The thing I find with some people (and my own DH can be like this) is that they think it's fine for them to be 'honest' or laugh, but they can't take it when someone gives them the same treatment. Suddenly they become precious little snowflakes, to use an overused expression.

Singing absolutely is an expression joy and noone should be mocked for that if they are doing it with friends/ family in private and having s moment of connection.