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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed not even invited on a mums night out?

50 replies

Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:07

So found out today that the other mothers from DC class ( year 6) had a boozy girls night in sat night. I wasn’t even invited and feel really left out. It’s a very small class (10 children) we are all the same sort of demographic ie middle class older mothers (40+). We are friendly in school playground have play dates etc. I was even chatting to one of the mothers by WhatsApp that afternoon.
I actually couldn’t have gone as I was working but I wasn’t even invited.
I don’t know what to think or feel but I actually am really upset. I don’t go out often but would really like the chance to have a gossip over a glass of wine.
I obviously can’t say anything but AIBU to feel excluded?? Over sensitive probably I guess Sad

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 05/03/2019 18:08

That’s rubbish. Any chance that they knew you were working? Hope so.

thewinkingprawn · 05/03/2019 18:12

I think if 9 went and you were the only one not too and you are friendly with them all and there is nothing you are not telling us then it will have been a genuine mistake and someone just left you off the list by mistake and no one else thought to say. I very much doubt they left you out on purpose or for no good reason

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 05/03/2019 18:12

That is strange. Is there a class whatsapp group or are the arrangements done differently?

We have a class group amd everyone’s invited.

ErickBroch · 05/03/2019 18:13

I would feel the same, and have done in situations not too dissimilar Flowers

Original poster
Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:13

No! They all know I regularly do on calls at weekends but no they wouldn’t know I was definitely working that day night. Also I still feel it’s a bit rude not to even ask if I could come??
It appears I’m good for advice and good for the odd bit of childcare in half term but not to have a cocktail with ?

OP posts:
HeckyPeck · 05/03/2019 18:15

Did all of the others go? Were you the only one left out?

TheFaerieQueene · 05/03/2019 18:15

I wouldn’t be so helpful in the future.

FlashingLights101 · 05/03/2019 18:16

Are you sure it wasn't an oversight? Like they put out the invite and just forgot you? How do you know it happened? Who told you? If it was deliberate however and you were the only one not invited that's a bit rubbish.

hopeishere · 05/03/2019 18:18

Is there one you are closer to that you can ask?

That's pretty crap though. Wine

Original poster
Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:21

No class WhatsApp. We sort of just individually contact each other. Nothing I’m not saying no fall outs, children are friends. We were all talking schools on Friday no issues. I have regular contact with all 4 other boy mums as our sons are obviously close. Girl mums I don’t tend to have play dates with so it’s just playground chat. Boy mums were out drinking so it’s not like only a couple of them. Honestly these are all very nice women.

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 05/03/2019 18:21

I know how it feels to be left out, I think I would put it down to an oversight this time and maybe distance myself slightly. If it happens again I wouldn't bother with them.

fezzesarecool · 05/03/2019 18:22

So are you saying it was all the mums apart from you?

Original poster
Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:25

I found out as they were discussing how bad their hangovers were on Sunday at school pick up.
The mum I was WhatsApping on sat pm ( she contacted me for advice) actually mentioned she was going on a girls night out. I didn’t ask who with as why would I ??? We all have different friends outside school.

OP posts:
lablablab · 05/03/2019 18:25

I'd be hurt too OP! That's so mean!

Could you set up a class WhatsApp group and suggest drinks? Say it's ages since you've been out and you'd love a mums night out.

Will hopefully shame them and also give them a kick up the bum!

Original poster
Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:31

Not all went as one stated she was glad she hadn’t, not all are at pick up today so I don’t know how many but it was obviously school mum group. I haven’t probed I just smiled politely.

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 05/03/2019 18:31

When the mum who was messaging you said " a girl's night out", was there any reference at all to how it was with? I find that a bit strange, she obviously hasn't tried hiding it from you but strange that she didn't mention it to you/ ask if you were going.

Zuma76 · 05/03/2019 18:33

I’d be upset too. I bet it was an oversight. Why dont you suggest that you have a WhatsApp group so you dont miss out again. If there is a mum you are particularly close to why don’t you say that you didn’t realise there was a night out organised as you would have re-arranged work and see what she says

FurrySlipperBoots · 05/03/2019 18:37

I would feel hurt too (though enormously relieved as that would literally be my idea of hell). How about you organise a get together soon, and then if they let you down write them off as poisonous bitches. Do give it a chance though.

nombrecambio · 05/03/2019 18:39

Have you known them long?

You say Sunday pick up.. are you overseas? Expat?

EvaHarknessRose · 05/03/2019 18:41

Was the one who stated she was glad she hadn’t gone perhaps also left out and having a dig?

Original poster
Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:42

No In uk i meant they were talking about being unwell yesterday (Sunday) post night out.

OP posts:
KitNCaboodle · 05/03/2019 18:43

I’m guessing they were talking on Monday about how bad their hangovers were the day before

Original poster
Happydove · 05/03/2019 18:43

Known since reception now year 6.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 05/03/2019 18:45

I would be hurt too. I absolutely would say something to the one I knew the best, and ask. I think you deserve to know why you were not invited. With a class that size they absolutely did not 'forget', this was deliberate. They really dont sound like friends...

UnicornRainbowsRain · 05/03/2019 18:45

You said you have other friends? Could they this be their main friends? Do you socialise with them outside the school gates?