To ask at what age you toilet / potty trained?

[SinkGirl]

And what was your child’s level of understanding when you did?

My twins are coming up to 2.5 and I’m constantly being asked about potty training by professionals. But they both have ASD, one also has a visual impairment although it’s hard to say how much that affects him.

I am seeing signs that one is starting to understand a few words possibly. They won’t copy anything, they don’t understand the concept of weeing or pooing. Surely potty training is just not possible under these circumstances? Sometimes they’ll wee when I take their nappy off for the bath and they don’t seem to be aware that it’s happening.

On the other hand, one is occasionally dry through the night and will sometimes pull at his nappy when he’s weeing. They both often squat when doing a poo so obviously there’s some awareness there but maybe just instinctive and not conscious? Very hard to say when they can’t talk or understand what I’m saying.

If anyone has trained their children before they understand these things I’d be very interested to know how you did it.

I'm wondering this.
DS is 19mo, I know a few people with similar age children who have started potty training already. DS only knows 3 words and doesn't show any understanding that hes filled his nappy, how can you teach a child that literally has no understanding of what is happening?

Sounds a bit early for yours.
My DD2 was 3.5 when we succeeded. She had delayed speech and poor motor skills.
I know Gina Ford is generally a bit marmite, but I found her little potty training book helpful. It does things in phases, like get potty out and have visible. Then start putting them on it just before/after baths. Not expecting anything but praising if something does happen. etc.

It’s difficult isn’t it? I’m not averse to trying it but I just don’t see how it’s possible - if I got a potty and actually managed to get them to sit on it, I couldn’t explain to them what to do. If I let them run around naked and then just moved them to the potty each time maybe they’d understand the association but I’m not sure they have the awareness to use it when they need to go (plus I’d be constantly cleaning up poo, which isn’t appealing!). Most of my friends with kids the same age are either trained or in the process - mine can’t use cutlery, still refuse anything other than bottles for their milk, I feel completely useless!

Thanks, I will have a look - just feels impossible if they’re not cognitively ready to understand the process.

I was 33 when I potty trained my child.

You will know when they are ready and as always... be careful what you wish for.
My DD was about 2.5 but she was very bright and had a very good vocabulary.
My Godson has just been potty trained and he's recently turned 4!
Do it when YOU and when YOUR DC are ready.
Ignore everyone else.
It's not a race. Everyone does things at different times and at a different pace.

My DMum reckons my older sister was potty trained at 3 months and I was 6 months.
I always have to LOL at these revelations.

My DD was 3, complete average in all mile stones, speech, walking etc. They're ready when they're ready. I pee potty trained her in 3 days- first 2 days she refused to sit on the potty and we were dealing with puddle after puddle, day 3 it clicked and now she's dry all day. Pooping - she hates the idea. Don't let anyone pressure you professional or not. Two kids at 2.5 let alone without any other issues I personally wouldn't panic. It will happen- you won't be changing 16 year olds nappies!

This may not be relevant and who knows if it will even work but I started telling DS a while ago that he has ‘done a wee wee’ in that annoying mommy voice when ever he has urinted after I have taken his nappy off. My theory was that attaching a word to the actual action may help. He is only 16 months so not started potty training per se but he does understand when he is weeing (when his nappy is off anyway) because he does it as he now thinks it is funny I’m going to buy him a potty soon and just leave it in his nursery and explain to him what it’s for etc. No pressure on him at all and see what happens!

Dd was 2.3 and ds was just before 2 but both were able to communicate to me that they were keen to try it (well, dd announced she was going to wear knickers and ds just sort of did it without any of us noticing). We were very lucky - they didn’t sleep but we got off easy with the pt bit of parenting!

Their friends have been aged everything between 18 months and almost 5 so I think you’re absolutely right to be led by your own dc. They are all different.

However I don’t think it can hurt to have a potty around, talk about it a bit. I agree with a pp that if you can take the age stuff & super strict routine bit with a pinch of salt, the gf pt book is quite useful.

3 or just before. I can’t remember, it was a long time ago now. No SN.

I tried a few times from around 2 to 2.5 but she was having none of it and it was a struggle. So I relaxed and let her lead, she pretty much potty trained herself, it was so easy.

Nobody (HV etc) was bothered.

Lifecraft

It's worth getting the 'Oh Crap' book, it has a small section on 'special circumstances' which essentially suggests potty training in line with other similar developmental milestones as your child reaches them(but also says trust your gut instinct).

The book strongly recommends potty training neurotypical children between 20 and 30 months so your twins are still within that range anyway and on that basis I wouldn't worry too much just yet given you feel cognitively they aren't ready.

Thanks everyone, it’s all really useful - I definitely don’t think we are ready yet. I’m hoping that all the SALT work we are doing will help them with understanding and a lot will follow on from that. We are using picture cards for lots of things (don’t fancy making photo cards of wee and poo though 😂)

My son is three next month and he's just cracked it.

We bought a potty just before he was 2 but he showed no interested until recently. We didn't force it until he was ready.

To be honest they’ve only seen me use the loo a couple of times ever (couldn’t lug them both upstairs so I’d just run and pee at lightning speed and still do!) so maybe I need to normalise that first. They’re finally starting to take an interest when I’m cooking food and loading the dishwasher etc so it seems like they’re starting to become more aware of the processes around them which I’m sure is part of it.

Could you ask the professionals how to go about potty training your twins? Get advice from different people. I think because they have ASD you can’t compare to other children their age. My DT1 has SEN and was trained very quickly at 4 but he wasn’t ready until then. DT2 no SEN was 3 and a bit and DC3 trained himself pretty much at just over 2.
It definitely depends on the child, their personality, additional needs etc. If professionals are saying to start potty training it’s either a standard question or they need to give you advice on how.

Also, you could try posting on the SEN board as there will be people there who have potty trained their child with ASD and may have some good advice.

Just potty trained my DD who is 2 years 8 months. She is NT and verbally v strong. 2.5 is pretty early I would say. X

My dd was almost 3 so she understood what we were doing. I purposely left it late though I felt pressure to do it a lot earlier. I went with my gut and it was fairly easy with very few accidents. She was dry through the night aswell. That seemed to happen naturally. If I had to potty train again I would leave it til later rather than sooner. I also used the Gina Ford book- not word for word but it was a resource.

Please don't stress yourself out about it. Honestly, they do it when they're ready.

DS1 was normal-ish age, I think. Between 2 and 3.

DS2 on the other hand wanted nothing to do with potty training. Even at nursery, when they all go off in a row, he will just stay where he is, pat his nappy and say: 'I'm good thanks'

He decided one day that he will take his nappy off on his fourth birthday and he did. Took it off and that was that.

If I think of all the worry I had and it was all for nothing. Don't waste your precious time on worrying. You'll get there.

Is your HV any good with your DT’s SN? Have you got a specialist OT who could provide advice or could your HV get some advice from one or refer you to one for some advice? I agree comparing potty training rates of NT singletons isn’t comparable to twins with SN (and even then, SN varies so much between individuals).

2 years 8 months. Just because I had some time off work at the point. I did have a half arsed attempt a few months previous during annual leave again, when she would have been about 2 yrs 4 months but it was hit and miss and I don’t think she was ready. DD must have been ready this time as she got it right away, no accidents and didn’t need nagging, unlike the first attempt. It’s been about 3 months now and she’s going great guns. It helped that her two closest friends had recently stopped using nappies, so she wanted to keep up with them. If you don’t think they are ready, just wait, it’s not worth the aggravation of trying to force the issue in my opinion.

Thanks all - we’ve been referred to a community paediatric nurse who’s taking over from the HV for the most part although we can still see them, for help with general things as they come up (sleep, eating, potty training etc). No one is saying we should, just noticed that suddenly everyone is asking!

Was just trying to get an idea of the normal range for this, as it seems early anyway to me but then some of my friends kids are so advanced already it’s not surprising they’re ready.

My son was 2 years 9 months. Did it straight away. No problems at all.

Both my children have ASD. I toilet trained both when they turned three. I didn't use a potty. I bought padded toilet seats and put them straight on the toilet. Both were toilet trained in the day within a fortnight. Dry at night within a month. I smiled and nodded at everyone who asked me about toilet training before we were ready.

Ds's nursery pushed us to start when he was just 2 and it took forever. He would stay dry if you took him to the loo every 30 minutes but had no awareness of it all and was still wetting the bed until he was 8.

Different nursery with DD and we waited until she started really showing awareness. It was very quick and I can count on 1 hand the number of times she has wet herself and she got dry at night at the same time. Never wet the bed.

Anecdotal I know but I am going to wait with DC3 until she really shows an awareness of the process.