To think Goodnight Mr Tom is not a nice book for a 9 year old

[Mintychoc1]

My mum lives next door to me, and likes to read 9 year old DS a bedtime story. I’m very grateful for her help, he likes the time with his gran, and she loves reading to him - all good. She’s retired English teacher, so knows about literature, and likes to read him timeless classics.

She’s been reading him Goodnight Mr Tom, and they’re on the last chapter. DS told me it was very sad, so I googled it and read the plot summary. Blimey it’s horrible! Child abuse, a baby is starved to death, another child dies, abusive mother kills herself - all against a backdrop of WW2 misery.

Surely this is unnecessarily nasty for a 9 year old?

And we’re constantly told how damaging Xbox games like fortnite are! But this seems so much more disturbing, as it’s more real.

Am I missing something ?

It’s a brilliant book for a 9 year old! It’s very well written and at that age it is really important that children are starting to slowly realise the realities of life; having his Gran there to talk about it with will help him feel more secure too. We may want to wrap our children in cotton wool but they need our help to grow into informed unselfish members of society and reading/listening to the news/volunteering at food banks etc are all age-appropriate ways to do this.

On your 'enough suffering in real life' point. I think children 'know facts' without understanding the associated emotions, behaviours, choices and consequences. (I know I couldn't understand suicide until I was a teenager, maturing into an adult. Even if I 'knew' it as a fact as a child). Fiction helps them bridge that gap. It presents scenarios, behaviours, choices, in ways that explain the connections and differences between situations beyond their control (e.g. war, imperfect parents) and choices within their grasp, about how they relate to other people, look for opportunities, for help etc.

I think escapist fiction is for adults, who've already experienced and understood the other stuff. Yes, some children's fiction is escapist too but even that can have remarkably horrible plot points and details.

Children can be remarkably fickle and insensitive about the stuff that upsets adults most, like the illness or death of babies and children. They accept it as a fact and move on. They're much more self-centred than (most) adults, so more likely to be upset abut things happening to the similar-age protagonist.

I read it at 9 and enjoyed it. I personally wouldn’t say your DS is too young for it but obviously that would depend on the mindset of your DS.

A wonderful book, perfectly appropriate for ours at 9 but all children are different.

Oo I want to read it now!

We read the book as a class at school when we were 10. I loved that book and still remember the teacher reading it to us over 25 years on. It was sad in parts but that’s real life. It’s a fantastic book.

My DS read this when he was 9 also. He's 14 now and still says this is one of his favourite books! It's one of those books that really makes an impact and you never forget reading, especially when the baby dies.

I'd rather my 9 yo was reading some of the great children's war literature there is than the interminable Harry Potter. And yes, she did bawl her eyes out at Dobbie's death. Pah! Goodbye Mr Tom might have to be her first read when it finally ends.

I think he’s upset by it.

That doesn't mean it's inappropriate though.

I read it about that age and don't remember being terribly emotionally affected by it, although I enjoyed it. But I went back and read it last year and god I was sobbing The film with John Thaw is great too.

My two were read the book in year 5 and watched the film. It is sad but they enjoyed it and we talked about it afterwards.

I think the fact that he is being read to by his gran will outweigh any dark effects of the book. Im sure Freud and Piaget would agree with me!

it is a lovely and wonderful book.

The overwhelming story that runs through it is the love of the grandfather figure for a little lost boy who needed love.

the rest is against the background of this powerful story line.

It is a modern fairy tale, in true fairy tales the good always outweighs the bad, good triumphs, the evil witch is dead etc. They were, and still are, a way for children to process fear.

It is sad but it's not inappropriate. I think a lot of kids read it at school at about 8/9, which wouldn't happen if it was too traumatising.

I read it at about that age and so did my DS.

It's a very sad book, yes.

However I don't think it's age inappropriate.

Frankly it exposed me to some realities of life and especially those of children in the 1930's/40's (though some element sadly remain true today) that I think were good for me to understand.

Life isn't all sweetness and light and I don't think wrapping kids up in a bubble is helpful.

That said there's a lot of positives to take from this book. Of how relationships can change people for the better, how not to take people always on face value and fundamentally how people can overcome adversity with love and support.

It's still one of my favourite childhood books tbh.

It’s probsbly the book from my childhood that sticks in my memory the most. The only other book I have ever read with the same impact is the boy in the striped pajamas. Kids books these days are so beige. I went home recently and cleared out the shelves in my parents house and me and my ds who is nearly 6 are starting to read our way through some great stuff. Gobilino and the little wooden horse, the mouses child, Simon and the witch. All books which would be weird for kids now.

Kids in Ireland usually read a book called under the hawthorn tree at that age. It’s about death during the famine in Ireland and it’s a very sad read.

Aww this was one of my favourite books as a child. It is sad but ultimately he finds peace because he discovers what a loving family is. I don’t think it’s inappropriate but there are things in there that children might want to discuss that are hard.

I read it at that age. It's still my one if my favourite books. The film is crap though.

I read it when I was 9 or 10 at school - it was a fantastic book, very, very well written - miles ahead of more recent young adult fiction.

Yes, there are some awful bits, some terrible things happen, but there's also a huge amount of hope in it, a lot to think about and a lot to help you explore your own feelings and I think it's good to encourage that.

YABU to think children's books should be happy escapism.

There is nothing wrong with children reading a sad book, even a book that will make them cry.

I read this to my dd when she was 9. I think being read a book is very different to reading it yourself when you're a child - you can ask questions that an adult can answer.

I often think how 20th century children's books contain themes and situations that we would protect children from reading about today (Stig of the Dump has children smoking and a car being pushed off a cliff for example), but they are things that happen in real life.

It remains one of my dd's favourite books. Yes, it covers some difficult themes but it does that sensitively and thoughtfully with more being hinted at than explicitly said (the mother's mental illness and prostitution for example).

As long as your mum would stop if your son didn't like it, then I honestly don't see the problem.

Should childrens books not have sad things in them, dangerous things etc? Would be very boring if they were all sweetness and light. Children dont need to have everything totally sanitised for them.

And yes there is plenty of misery in life, which is why well written accounts in literature provide a way in to talking about life.

Depends on the child and how sensitive they are but generally speaking I think it's perfectly suited to 9 year olds. I was a total bookworm as a child and remember Goodnight, Mr Tom being one of the first book I was truly moved by. It certainly deals with some very dark themes but it's written sensitively so as not to overwhelm with horror.