To think Goodnight Mr Tom is not a nice book for a 9 year old

[Mintychoc1]

My mum lives next door to me, and likes to read 9 year old DS a bedtime story. I’m very grateful for her help, he likes the time with his gran, and she loves reading to him - all good. She’s retired English teacher, so knows about literature, and likes to read him timeless classics.

She’s been reading him Goodnight Mr Tom, and they’re on the last chapter. DS told me it was very sad, so I googled it and read the plot summary. Blimey it’s horrible! Child abuse, a baby is starved to death, another child dies, abusive mother kills herself - all against a backdrop of WW2 misery.

Surely this is unnecessarily nasty for a 9 year old?

And we’re constantly told how damaging Xbox games like fortnite are! But this seems so much more disturbing, as it’s more real.

Am I missing something ?

There's a balance between escapism and teaching people how we function socially. I worked with a child with Asperger's who hated fiction because he couldn't see the point of it as you didn't 'learn' anything unlike factual books. Which is not correct, the things you 'learn' are different perspectives, interpretations, why people think differently, life experiences that you'll never come across, etc.

And don't forget that adults put their own interpretation onto children's literature which often goes straight over the head of the the child.

I think that, left to choose their own reading material, most kids won't gravitate towards happy escapism. My favourite book as a nine year-old was the infamously grim Watership Down (which was probably more relatably distressing for me than Goodnight Mister Tom because I cared more about animals than babies at that age). I must have read it half a dozen times, so it obviously fulfilled some kind of need for me.

It depends on the 9 year old and the conversations with the reader-aloud of course, but I do think generally that 9 is a bit young. But it’s done now-and if they are nearly at the end you would have noticed if it was upsetting him.

I'm in France and DS2 (10) does online English. Good night Mr Tom is one of the books they study. After the unit, we watched the film as well. I hadn't seen it before and wasn't familiar with the book, so it was new to both of us. My opinion is the heartwarming, kind, and "good" bits outweigh the sad bits. It is sad of course, but tragically quite realistic probably.

Other than saying it was sad how does your DS feel about it? Is he upset?

I also think children learn much more with slightly more realistic fictional situations, rather than mindless violence where everyone gets up and carries on but that's a whole other issue.

We both loved it and it's making me want to watch it again now we're discussing it!

I read it around that age I think, certainly before 11, and it was one of my favourite books. I don't remember being distressed by it, more the message of love and reassurance that there are good people who help.

I read out around that age and found it very sad, I cried a lot but it remains one of my favourites. Thing is, it was reality of life, I don't think it was over dramatised and I think it's important for younger generations to know what happened. Lest we forget!

The film is a PG

I agree that a lot of the darker stuff goes over kids' heads and the focus on the more heartwarming side. It's a good book for 9-12 year olds and is often taught as part of a WW2 topic.

I read it in year 5 or 6, there's also a tv adaptation. Not all of life is a bed of roses. If anything we can be overprotective now. My favourite book from that age was Fireweed - haven't read it since of course but we read a lot of books set around then

I read lots of books as a young kid that would really upset me as an adult. I think with books, you rely on your imagination. And most kids don't have enough experience of traumatic things happening, to accurately imagine these things. I think that is why kids books that seem horrific as an adult, are fine when you are a kid.
Visual things are different as you don't need your imagination.

I think it is absolutely fine. My children read a wide range of books from an early age, and Goodnight Mr Tom was always a favourite. They also read all the Michael Morpurgo's at that age, Private Peaceful is another quite traumatic book although firmly aimed a youngsters. Chinese Cinderalla another one which is quite disturbing albeit in a different way.

Many fairytales are very, very sad, and sometimes very dark. Pinocchio is frankly horrible, many of the Grimms fairytales are very dark, and sad, and we read those all in the original from quite young.

I don't think it is a problem at all. If you read a wide range, with some light Fairy books or Roald Dahl in-between, for balance, all the better.

I think as adults we see children's books through the lens of our experience. Sometimes we project a little (or a lot) and become upset by things that our DC are much more sanguine about.

I only realised as a parent, how much some of the content of books I had read. and loved, as a child had gone over my head.

Also you should have seen the stories there were in kids comics in the past aimed at 7-9 year olds. Some were really grim and I loved them.
I agree with the person who said that most kids do not naturally gravitate to nice and happy stories. I suspect strongly these stories help kids learn about bad things in a safe way, and helps their emotional development.

I read it at about 8 I think. Loved it. I got confused about his mum getting pregnant though cos she said she hadnt had sex with anyone (which obviously an adult would see was a lie) but for a while I think I thought you could just get pregnant one day.

I dont think I understood the significance of Zach's judaism either, so it is worth discussing.

My year 6 child is doing WW2 this term and we had to sign a permission slip for them to watch the film. I remember reading it at a similar age and having nightmares about it. I warned him it was a very sad book, but decided to leave the school to it.

I read it around that age (my mum was very much a "no TV but if you can understand the language you're free to read the book" kind of parent) - I loved it. I was obsessed with Anne Frank around the same age.

I find the themes more upsetting now than I did as a child (maybe because, as a parent, you're forced to imagine it's your child). I definitely wouldn't say it's inappropriate for a 9 year old. You should read the book, rather than just the summary. It's very accessible and an excellent book.

Carrie’s War is far more upsetting.

Good night Mr Tom is a lovely book. I think you should actually read it, rather than focus on an online synopsis.

My class read it in year 6 at school and it had a huge impact on me. For a long time it was my favourite book (still is a favourite). It's a book that takes you on an emotional journey and balances out the heartbreaking sad parts with warm happiness. It's very well written and I think for kids that age 9/10 it's a good introduction to some harder topics.

Children learn about and process many issues through reading and drama. It's not inappropriate at all

Yes, YABU, it's fine for that age group! We read it in school at a similar age & I know they do it in my DC's school during y5 or 6 too.

Michelle Magorian is a fantastic author, she doesn't patronise children in her writing style. You find the content more upsetting because you're seeing it through an adults eyes, with adult experiences behind you.

also, I haven't reread it since I've become a mother but I think that I would find the parts about his mother, the abuse and the baby dying much harder to deal with. Children don't have that perspective, but they can learn about some harder things in life in a safe way.

Carrie's war!! Oh, The Bad Thing!

I had almost fogotten about that!

I don’t know - it just seems to me like a lot of children’s books are very dark, but because they’re classics no one questions it. Some nursery rhymes and fairy tales are really punitive , teaching children that terrible things will happen if they are naughty. Real life is hard enough, shouldn’t story time be about happy escapism?

Literature should be about real life, should tell the truth, should give you tools to deal with life.

Escapism doesn’t really teach you anything.

I read goodnight Mr Tom in year 6 at school. It quickly became my favourite book and is falling apart! I've read all Michelle Magorians books and looking forward to sharing them with DD when she's old enough.
I interpret it differently as an adult than I did as a child, but I think it's good for children to read a variety of books, positive and negative. Life isn't always happy! Also, it's a good introduction to WW2 which is important to remember and learn from.

One purpose stories serve is to prepare children for life and help build emotional resilience.