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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery incompetence!

56 replies

MissB83 · 04/03/2019 20:51

This is more of a WWYD but also an AIBU (am I overreacting?!)

My son has a nasty intolerance to fish - I realised a few of months ago as he would get a bit off colour and then start projectile vomiting a few hours after he had it. He's 1. When he started nursery I told the manager verbally about this and noted it on his form.

After day one I asked what the kids had eaten and the manager said "fish and rice". When I checked this she said "oh no he didn't have fish". So I took the opportunity to remind about no fish.

Tonight my DS seemed peaky and looked a bit off colour then started throwing up just before bedtime. As he threw up all over me I could see it contained big lumps of - salmon!

I am extremely cross and also worried because the nursery clearly haven't followed my instructions, what if it were a food allergy? It's nasty enough that they've made him feel poorly for no reason.

He's due to go back in tomorrow morning- apart from strong words with the manager and asking about their policies/procedures on food handling, what should I do?

OP posts:
Bubblysqueak · 04/03/2019 20:56

If he has an intolerance or allergy he needs a care plan. His details should also be kept in the kitchen. The usual format is a chart with the child's name, what the allergy is and the sessions they are in.
My previous setting had a colour coded system red -allergy yellow-preference e.g. vegetarian green -no issue this would correspond with placemats and plates,cups and bowls so all staff were aware.

LovingLola · 04/03/2019 21:01

I would seriously think about removing him if they cannot come up with a cast iron explanation for their error. If his allergy was life threatening it could have been a fatal incident.

Queenfreak · 04/03/2019 21:01

I would go absolutely flipping mental.
Seriously.
My daughter has an intolerance to dairy, she has awful nappies- ends up with blistered and red raw bum, lots of uncomfortable wind and she absolutely miserable.
I would want an incident form filled in, I would want it in writing that staff will be trained about this again, AND I would want to know what steps they would take to prevent this.
I would honestly be fuming and while I would obviously not be rude or aggressive I would absolutely convay how I felt.
Also- just to rub salt in- I'll get they refuse to take him for the next 48 hours as he's vomited.

Rtmhwales · 04/03/2019 22:07

If he's projectile vomiting up fish, it might well be an allergy. I have many diagnosed food allergies tested through blood tests and other means and some of my reactions include projectile vomiting.

Go back and tell them it's an allergy and he needs a care plan put in place. That's pretty negligent on their part. Poor baby.

user1471426142 · 04/03/2019 22:12

That is not acceptable. At mine they have photos up of the kids with allergies or dietary requirements and it is quite clear who is on a restricted diet and everyone knows the kids really well.

One of my friends removed her son from nursery immediately as she turned up one day and the staff member that met her didn’t know his name. He had severe allergies and she was not confident that they would be on the ball re food if they didn’t know his name.

TORDEVAN · 04/03/2019 22:21

I would (fairly calmly whilst going mental inside) be asking for an incident report and reporting this to my local authority and to OFSTED. Maybe even posting on their facebook page should they have one.

Completely unacceptable. A child could die from being give a food they shouldn't have.

I would also never send my child there again. And I would list fish as an allergy in future.

TORDEVAN · 04/03/2019 22:23

just to note - I mean I would start by asking for the incident report fairly calmly. In my experience you get what you want better by not flying off the handle in the first instance. If they don't give it to you then I would get a lot less calm.

Windinmyhair · 04/03/2019 22:49

I'd be going crazy, but calmly as suggested by @TORDEVAN.

Also - just to say unless you have had it checked out by Drs/allergy specialist, I wouldn't assume it isn't an allergy - these things get worse over a period of consumption.

Triskaidekaphilia · 04/03/2019 23:05

YANBU. I have the same reaction to fish and it's bad enough as an adult. I agree you should stay calm but have a very serious chat with them.

Original poster
MissB83 · 05/03/2019 07:56

I messaged the nursery manager last night in a panic about it and she came back to me and said they hadn't had fish, it was sausages. When I went up to the nursery it was those smoked pink frankfurter sausages which made more sense as to why I thought it was fish! And there was no fish on any of the menus/no salmon in the freezer - she showed me that all they have is cod fish fingers. His name was also definitely on an allergy list saying "no fish". I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this occasion but hopefully if they know someone is alert to this stuff then they might be a bit more proactive - have told them definitely don't give him those sausages again either!

OP posts:
Noloudnoises · 05/03/2019 08:26

Good to give them the benefit of the doubt and to save your sanity. Keep an eye on them.

If it were me, I'd refer to it as fish allergy from now on. People take more notice of the word 'allergy' than 'intolerance' for some annoying reason.

IceRebel · 05/03/2019 08:32

I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this occasion but hopefully if they know someone is alert to this stuff then they might be a bit more proactive

But they haven't done anything wrong? Confused

They don't give him fish, and this is the first time he has reacted to these sausages. I don't understand how they can be more pro-active in this instance.

mando12345 · 05/03/2019 08:36

I'm pleased they didn't give him fish but I wouldn't be very happy with then giving frankfurter sausages, really cheap, processed junk, I would expect better.

BertrandRussell · 05/03/2019 08:37

Why do you have to give them the “benefit of the doubt”? They have acted entirely properly.

Original poster
MissB83 · 05/03/2019 08:43

mando yes to be honest it didn't seem the nicest food to be giving a 1 year old either!

What I meant by "benefit of the doubt" was to believe them that they didn't give any fish as it did look like it was fish to me, but then again I don't eat processed sausages so no idea what they would look like when vomited up! I have gently suggested they don't give them to him again as they clearly don't agree with him!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/03/2019 09:04

“What I meant by "benefit of the doubt" was to believe them that they didn't give any fish”
Blimey. So you think they might be lying to you????

MidniteScribbler · 05/03/2019 09:08

If it were me, I'd refer to it as fish allergy from now on. People take more notice of the word 'allergy' than 'intolerance' for some annoying reason.

Do NOT do this. People doing this is why restaurants and others don't take it seriously. So many people 'oh does this have onion? I'm allergic to onion', then order something 'oh, there's onion in that.' 'Oh it's fine, I just don't like it when there's too much in the food.'.

It's amazing how many children suddenly have 'allergies' when it's time to take them on camp. No, they just don't like it.

If your son really does have an allergy to fish, then you need to get it officially documented with a care plan provided to the school.

Original poster
MissB83 · 05/03/2019 09:13

It is an intolerance not an allergy. I wouldn't refer to it as an allergy as it isn't fair on kids with a true allergy.

OP posts:
CaptainButtock · 05/03/2019 09:18

Yes... absolutely DO NOT tell them it’s an allergy. Allergies KILL people.
One mother at our school told everyone her son was ‘allergic’ to E numbers. Turned out it was just that she didn’t like him having crap food and thought that would avoid it.

Made me feel v sorry for the girl at school who is allergic to gluten and has had half her bowel removed because of it. Idiots like E number woman discourage people from taking allergies seriously. It’s very dangerous.

Nodancingshoes · 05/03/2019 09:21

Lucky you didn't take other people's advice and 'go mental' or phone Ofsted since they hadn't done anything wrong..... A simple phone call was all it took. Glad it is sorted op

Wakk · 05/03/2019 09:24

Will they let him go today? Most wont within 48hrs of sickness.

Original poster
MissB83 · 05/03/2019 09:25

Wakk I thought that but they let him in? I was upfront that he had been sick last night. Confused helps me as I have to work but was surprised.

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 05/03/2019 09:26

Allergies don’t always kill people. Is sounds like the child may have an Non-IgE allergy. It is still an allergy but it does not lead to anaphylactic shock in the way an IgE allergy does.

OP - you do need to speak to your GP about this as allergies can start off milder and then lead to anaphylactic shock on subsequent exposures.

Original poster
MissB83 · 05/03/2019 09:28

Jackshouse I didn't realise that - I will make an appointment to get it investigated further. Thank you. I think there might be something in the fact it was smoked meat, a friend suggested some people can be allergic to the nitrates in smoked food so that could be why he had the projectile vomiting which is what he has when he normally has the fish (ie he has more than one allergy or intolerance).

OP posts:
Lonecatwithkitten · 05/03/2019 09:32

Whilst he is intolerant to fish a single vomit to frankfurters does not alone indicate an intolerance. Vomiting and diarrhoea bugs are really, really common in nurseries at this time of year.

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