Nursery incompetence!

[MissB83]

This is more of a WWYD but also an AIBU (am I overreacting?!)

My son has a nasty intolerance to fish - I realised a few of months ago as he would get a bit off colour and then start projectile vomiting a few hours after he had it. He's 1. When he started nursery I told the manager verbally about this and noted it on his form.

After day one I asked what the kids had eaten and the manager said "fish and rice". When I checked this she said "oh no he didn't have fish". So I took the opportunity to remind about no fish.

Tonight my DS seemed peaky and looked a bit off colour then started throwing up just before bedtime. As he threw up all over me I could see it contained big lumps of - salmon!

I am extremely cross and also worried because the nursery clearly haven't followed my instructions, what if it were a food allergy? It's nasty enough that they've made him feel poorly for no reason.

He's due to go back in tomorrow morning- apart from strong words with the manager and asking about their policies/procedures on food handling, what should I do?

Something that causes projectile vomiting is an allergy, surely? My DS was allergic to cow's milk but it caused stomach upset and eczema rather than an anaphylactic reaction, still an allergy. And fish is quite a common allergen OP, with reactions sometimes escalating over time until they become anaphylactic. So please take him to the GP if you haven't already, and don't be afraid to refer to his allergy as an allergy!

Has he had formal testing from the gp ? It's wise to get it done to establish the boundaries of his allergy/intolerance. Then you can formally in writing tell them. I suspect verbally isn't sufficient plus people use the word intolerance a bit too liberally these days (when they mean dislike)

If he had large lumps of sausage in his vomit, I would be more worried about the possibility of him choking. He hasn't been able to chew the food or has swallowed the lumps whole.

When he has had this it doesn't really seem like a stomach bug tbh, it tends to be a similar amount of time after he's had the food, he is uncomfortable and looks green for a while, he doesn't digest it at all and he just projectile vomits for a little while until it's all up and then he's fine. Different from when he's had norovirus or another tummy bug where he's obviously being sick or diarrhoea for hours or even days.

I think you should stop calling your son's potential allergy to fish an 'intolerance'.

I have an extremely severe allergy to nuts. As a young child the only outward symptom was vomiting. As I got older I was able to explain that I also had an itchy mouth and struggling to swallow (IE anaphylaxis). Each reaction became more severe.

Unless you have had allergy tests that rule out your son's reaction to fish being an allergy I would advise calling it an allergy because unfortunately there are people who think that intolerances cause only very minor symptoms.

However, it is concerning that you don't trust your nursery.

DD has allergies and her nursery are SO careful. They take it very seriously (more seriously than I do!)

pudcat that's a really good point, I have put that in a follow up message, he doesn't yet have any teeth so he does need some help with cutting up food etc.

Wow.. not all E numbers are synthetic!

OP I'm glad it wasn't fish after all! I'd consider getting a doctor to monitor him periodically, fish intolerances/allergies often grow worse as a person ages, it's best to be on top of it :)

Poor little boy! Hope he's feeling better today.

Honestly I am not sure what to think about the nursery. I was trying to just go on the evidence of my own eyes which was that it did seem to be fish and he did seem to be having a reaction, but maybe there is another explanation for that. Definitely agree that it needs some proper medical investigation as there's clearly a lot about allergies that I didn't know. I am also aware that where it comes to my son my responses can be quite dramatic, he nearly died at birth because of hospital incompetence and so it tends to be a bit of a trigger where things to do with his health are concerned, I can be very untrusting of other people, it took a lot of nerve to even put him in nursery in the first place, and sometimes I need a bit of a sense check about that, so I'm trying to deal with this whole situation as calmly as possible and work out what needs to be done.

Was he only sick once? I hope it wasn't a bug that he's now going to pass on to the other children.

It’s understandable that you would be anxious given what you say about his birth but maybe this incident at the nursery is helpful in a way? They did not give him fish so that is great, their system is working well and now you suspect he may have another intolerance/allergy so it’s a good push to get him diagnosed properly.

Something that causes projectile vomiting is an allergy, surely?

Could be a psychological reaction.

Could be food poisoning.

Could be a virus.

My DS has a nut allergy. First symptom was projectile vomiting. He had an egg allergy when younger, which he's now grown out of, and that too started with projectile vomiting.

Fish might be smoked during preservation therefore it wouldn't be unreasonable that potentially smoked fish and smoked sausages cause the same reaction.

Either way, it happens repeatedly with one food and has happened with another. I would definitely be seeking drs advice and maybe allergy testing so it doesn't escalate.

My son's previous nursery had an area where they all had food and on the wall it was marked with their picture and in red if they're allergic (notes whatever food they're allergic to) and yellow is any forbidden food due to religion.

That is extremely incompetence of them! I would absolutely raise this with them.

hi it sounds like FPIES which is a non ige allergy response.
I'd say worth a referral to an allergist.

Yes Kitty but if it happens every time.

Yes Kitty but if it happens every time.

This is the first time he has reacted to these sausages

Can i just jump in and say that not all allergies kill. I am allergic to cashews and pistachios I get excruciating stomach pain and vomiting, i have been tested at an allergy clinic and am definitely allergic. So he could possibly be allergic.

Got a dr appt today so hopefully get a referral.

The nursery are still a bit hopeless - they sent him home yesterday with a dirty bib and a dirty vest belonging to other children!!

If they didn't feed him fish and don't know why he vomited, they shouldn't have let him attend today. To be honest they sound disorganised.

Got a dr appt today so hopefully get a referral.

That's great - I hope you get some answers soon!

The nursery are still a bit hopeless - they sent him home yesterday with a dirty bib and a dirty vest belonging to other children!!

I hope he wasn't dressed in the dirty bib or dirty vest belonging to someone else and was just in his bag.

It's hard when things aren't labelled as well!

I wouldn't give the nursery a hard time for this. Nursery children have multiple changes of clothes in a day, multiply this by 30+ and you can see why this happens! Just accept it happens, OP and you'll find primary school easier

All his clothes are labelled which is how I knew it wasn't his.

I didn't fancy putting a vest covered in another baby's poo with his clothes in the washing machine so it's still in a bag until next nursery day!

He actually was dressed in the bib.

All his clothes are labelled which is how I knew it wasn't his.

I meant the other clothes not labelled, not yours! And yes, being dressed in a dirty bib is very unusual to actually go home with one. Did you say something when you collected him?.

I didn't collect him, my mum did, she didn't realise it wasn't his.

If I'm getting shit stained clothes coming home from primary school then I'd be a bit worried?!